Is being a coward efective

[terryl965]

I know this may sound stupid but is being a coward really an advantage, I mean how many coward people put themself in the middle of danger. For the most part they stay to themself and go unnotice in society. Is this a great approached toward self defense or is it a statistic waiting to happen.

I was talking to a friend that said his friend for thirty years has nevr been in any confitation and he was the biggest coward in the world, I looked at him and laughed but after rethinking what he said it made sense you go to a club do you really notice the greek at a table by themself no bot really. At sporting events those types of people go un notice to the masses, but I just cannot believe thata shyer person is less likely to be a victom.

What are your thoughts on this subject

 

[still learning]

Hello, Awareness/Avoidance from any serious confrontions will cause your life to go unharm and last longer.

An average of 26,000 American people die from their EGO"S/Pride..because they did not want to be thought of as COWARDS. (From book-Gift of Fear).

Rule ONE for most martial art training....is Awareness/Avoidence...humbleness. (learn about running too).

Martial arts gives you confidence and skills to protect yourself. NOT to fight back just because someone calls you a COWARD or will think you are a coward.

Remember just pushing someone down to the ground and they hit their head on the curb,sharp cornor,and etc...can cause serious injuries or DEATH. Face Jail time for sure.

Read "Fighter Fact Book 2- by Loren Christensen" you will understand this more!

Best to leave and wake up tommorrow with NO problems and in good health.

Just my thoughts on this..........ALOHA

 

[exile]

Well, it's a two edged sword. A coward is less likely to put themselves in harm's way than someone with physical courage (though there are people who identify themselves as cowards and try to compensate by being reckless). But in a situation where a bully is looking for an easy victim, a coward will attract him like blood in the water does a shark.

I'm not really sure exactly what a coward is, actually. The Free Online Dictionary at http://www.thefreedictionary.com/coward offers the definition One who shows ignoble fear in the face of danger or pain. Obviously we don't want to say that anyone who shows fear is a coward, because plenty of very brave people have shown fear in the face of danger; many people who've committed actions we would all call heroic have insisted that they were not true heroes because they felt fear in the face of the danger involved. We know better, of course: if you see nothing to fear in a situation, it's hard to make a case for bravery. So the fear that defines a coward has to be not just present, but also of an `ignoble' sort. But what makes fear `ignoble'? How can you tell?

My own sense is that `ignoble' fear is fear which destroys someone's willingness or ability to act in the face of danger. If that's true, then we only can identify cowardice once the danger has begun—which in turn means that being a coward wasn't enough to keep the person in question out of harm's way. What I'm saying here is that if being a coward is defined as fearful to the point of paralysis when danger strikes, it seems hard to see cowardice as keeping you away from danger in the first place. So if this line of reasoning is correct, the answer would have to be, no—cowardice doesn't keep you safe; it makes it harder for you to respond when danger arises.

I think this reasoning goes through... any thoughts, anyone?

 

[terryl965]

yes I have read Loren books and they are great just thought I would get other people views on this. I know I'm the biggest coward there is ask anybody.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

I proud master of the art of Scooby-Do am I.

Run away and live to eat another day.

 

[zDom]

When I was in 7th grade, my family moved to the Caribbean for a couple of years, resulting in "culture shock."

When I moved back, culture shock AGAIN.

While I was somewhat "scrappy" (wouldn't start fights, but wouldn't back down, either) before moving to the Caribbean, the whole experience resulted in my being rather on the meek side when I entered the U.S. public school system again for 9th grade.

9th grade was one of the worst years of my life. I must have been assaulted a dozen times. Anytime some jerk wanted to build their self esteem, they would find me and kick my ***.

I would duck, cover and dodge until they finished and spend another day humiliated, bruised and scratched up.

In 10th grade (it was a different school -- the school system had 7, 8 and 9th grades at junior high and 10, 11, and 12th at high school), one of the jerks who had given me trouble in junior high thought he would start it up all again.

He and a friend followed me into a restroom. He first tapped my shoulder as I used the urinal, trying to get me to "put it away" early and piss myself. I ignored him and finished my business.

As I made for the exit, he stopped me and tried to get me to flinch by fake swinging at me. I just stared blankly. So he turned is back on me.... then suddently spun around and socked me right in the face and started bouncing around goading me to fight him. I walked out, slightly punch drunk from the sucker punch.

I thought it over during the next class and decided if I didn't do something about this assault, it would be 9th grade all over again.

Upon leaving that class, I walked straight toward toward the pathway where he would be coming from his last class. Spotting him in the crowd, I walked straight up and gave him a dose of his own medicine: I socked him right in the nose and had the pleasure of watching it knock him on his butt while blood began to flow from his nose.

He staggered up and hollered about how he was going to kick my *** and rushed me for a "shoot."

I caught him in a headlock and held it until he was just about choked out and the teachers arrived and broke up the fight.

But he still hadn't had enough.

Instead of taking his regular bus, he took mine that day after school. I got off the bus and was walking across a field when he tackled me from behind.

We wrestled and he got a headlock but it wasn't nearly as effective as me squeezing his rib cage and pulling on his floating rib.

He suggested that if I let go, he would let go. I suggested he let go first. He said I had to promise never to mess with him again. I reminded him he started the whole thing in the first place and if he left me alone, he'd never have to worry about trouble from me.

We released each other and nobody ever bothered me again at that school.

If you look like a victim, predators will prey on you. If you never fight back, predators will figure you are EASY prey.

Rape and abduction statistics indicate it is ALWAYS better to fight back.

Some people are blessed in that people never seem to give them any trouble. My curse has been that if someone is going to pick someone out at random to mess with, chances are it will be ME no matter what I do — avoid eye contact, try to be unobtrusive, I've tried it all.

I still try to avoid trouble, but now for those that actually attack me, I feel no remorse for what happens to them. I am mindful not to go beyond "self defense" into punitive techniques, but if I knock out all their front teeth after they've sucker punched me, I certainly don't feel any regret.

I figure these people need a good lesson about attacking those who appear to be easy victims. It may save someone who ISN'T able to defend themselves a lot of grief by making the predator think twice before assaulting them.

/end longwinded story + rant

 

[LawDog]

A few factors to be considered if you decide on acting cowardly.
1) You are with members of your family. If you act cowardly then you could send a signal to the attacker(s) that your family members are easy prey.
2) Men traveling with other male friends. Afterwards your friends might look upon you very differently.
3) Some attackers will get put off by a coward, they could become harsher / more violent towards you or your companions.
4) If they are armed and you are not. The attacker may put away the weapon and just beat you with his hands.
5) This could cause your attacker drop his guard long enough so that you could set up an unannounced attack or suddenly flee.
You will have only have seconds to decide.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

If you are weak, appear strong. If you are strong appear weak. -Sun Tzu

 

[FearlessFreep]

I think there are too many variables.

A bully may see a coward as an easy target, but a coward may escape notice. Etc...etc... Everytime I try to think of a scenario were "appearing to be a coword" would be good, I can think of another one where the same behavior would be bad. It depends on the personalities of the others involved.

All you can really do is be yourself, don't try to second guess, and use discretion and wisdom.

 

[MA-Caver]

Master Po from the TV series Kung Fu summed it up best I think...
"What is courage but a man's knowledge of his strengths? What is cowardice but a man's knowledge of his weaknesses, together the coward and the hero walk together in every man." (or something like that... )

I've learned that cowardice is the human instinct to know you're in over your head. Some people will ignore it and end up on the Darwin Awards and others will listen to it and live to tell the day.

 

[Shaderon]

Well, it's a two edged sword. A coward is less likely to put themselves in harm's way than someone with physical courage (though there are people who identify themselves as cowards and try to compensate by being reckless). But in a situation where a bully is looking for an easy victim, a coward will attract him like blood in the water does a shark.

I'm not really sure exactly what a coward is, actually. The Free Online Dictionary at http://www.thefreedictionary.com/coward offers the definition One who shows ignoble fear in the face of danger or pain. Obviously we don't want to say that anyone who shows fear is a coward, because plenty of very brave people have shown fear in the face of danger; many people who've committed actions we would all call heroic have insisted that they were not true heroes because they felt fear in the face of the danger involved. We know better, of course: if you see nothing to fear in a situation, it's hard to make a case for bravery. So the fear that defines a coward has to be not just present, but also of an `ignoble' sort. But what makes fear `ignoble'? How can you tell?

My own sense is that `ignoble' fear is fear which destroys someone's willingness or ability to act in the face of danger. If that's true, then we only can identify cowardice once the danger has begun—which in turn means that being a coward wasn't enough to keep the person in question out of harm's way. What I'm saying here is that if being a coward is defined as fearful to the point of paralysis when danger strikes, it seems hard to see cowardice as keeping you away from danger in the first place. So if this line of reasoning is correct, the answer would have to be, no—cowardice doesn't keep you safe; it makes it harder for you to respond when danger arises.

I think this reasoning goes through... any thoughts, anyone?

Excellent.... what he said. I agree with every word, you've used Shads style reasoning here Exile!

Master Po from the TV series Kung Fu summed it up best I think...
"What is courage but a man's knowledge of his strengths? What is cowardice but a man's knowledge of his weaknesses, together the coward and the hero walk together in every man." (or something like that... )

I've learned that cowardice is the human instinct to know you're in over your head. Some people will ignore it and end up on the Darwin Awards and others will listen to it and live to tell the day.

Partly, I also think that cowardice is taken a step further, it's the assumption that you are in over your head without thinking it through properly or even considering fighting back.

 

[Kacey]

Do cowards live longer? I doubt it - but there is a difference between being a coward, and blending into the crowd. I consider myself alert, aware, and unremarkable - and have never had problems with strangers (non-strangers are a different story... but the only serious problem ended up with a restraining order against him). Do I go looking for trouble? Not at all - and I know people who consider that cowardly. On the other hand, while I blend in reasonably well, I do not appear to be a shrinking wallflower that could be easily defeated. There are plenty of "invisible" people who are not cowards, they just blend in - but many people consider them cowards because they don't go looking for trouble. I much prefer "invisibility".

 

[charyuop]

What coward means? It means someone who is scared, afraid.
By what I was taught, fear is a natural self defense of our body. Everyone when kid is afraid of darkness, a natural way of the body to tell you "watch out, here it is dark and you can get hurt coz you don't see where you are going".

Being scared in a confrontation is the way that your body tells you watch out, here you can get hurt. In my opinion (I might be wrong) if you have no fear at all in a fight you are more likely to be hit by the opponent, because fear helps developing that awareness of your opponent's movements. On the other hand, being coward is an excess of fear and that is something bad because will create a "freezing" reaction in your body.

Pretending to be a coward to avoid bad situations might work or not, as stated above depends on the opponent, but really being coward (having an excess of fear) is never good, because if it doesn't help you to avoid the bad situation it will leave you a defenseless victim of it.


Just my 2 cents...

 

[MrE2Me2]

Hello Terry1965,

You posted, “I know this may sound stupid but is being a coward really an advantage…”

In my opinion, being afraid is certainly an advantage (under certain conditions).
Fear can do many good things to help keep alive and healthy.

But being a coward is a different thing to me.
It means allowing fear to utterly rule my words and actions.

Being a coward means making value judgments that usually adversely affect my life.
Means I’d run when I should talk, talk when I should fight and desert my comrades in the face of danger.

Whoever said, “A coward dies a thousand deaths, a brave person only one”; they spoke truly.
My two cents anyway.

Regards, MrE2Me2

 

[exile]

you've used Shads style reasoning here Exile!

Shads' reasoning works for me!

Partly, I also think that cowardice is taken a step further, it's the assumption that you are in over your head without thinking it through properly or even considering fighting back.

Right—it's a kind of giving up before you even start. I agree—that's the thing which separates cowardice from normal fear...

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Borrowing from Wiki
====
Legal definition

As a legal definition, according to Subchapter X, Section 899, Article 99[1] of the United States Uniform Code of Military Justice, cowardice is defined as:

* Running away from an enemy;
* Abandoning, surrendering or otherwise fleeing any post that the soldier is tasked with defending;
* Endangering the safety of any post that the soldier is responsible for through disobedience, neglect or willful misconduct while in combat;
* Discarding arms or ammunition while in combat;
* Abandoning combat to plunder or loot or commit other crimes;
* Willfully failing to do all within the soldier's power to fight or defend when it is his duty to do so, while in combat;
* Refusing to give any needed aid or relief to fellow troops while in combat; or
* Performing other unspecified acts of "cowardly conduct" while in combat.

According to the UCMJ, the maximum punishment for cowardice is the death penalty. Cowardice can, by definition, only be charged during a time of and in an area of armed conflict.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coward

 

[Blotan Hunka]

"A coward dies a thousand deaths. A hero dies but one."

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Using that definition, I'd say I fit the first part - running away from an enemy.
The rest, doesn't apply to me.

I see cowardice and fear being different. Everyone feels fear, but it is how we deal with it that defines us I think.

My "fight or flight" instinct will be processed depending on the parameters of the engagement. If it's just me, and I can run I will run. If I cannot un for some reason, I will assume either a passive or aggressive state depending on how I see things, with the intent to either diffuse or confuse or misinform my opponent. I tend to "be like water" and follow the path of least resistance where possible. I'm not into confrontations. In some cases however, this water-nature is confused for weakness and the enemy increases their aggressiveness. They are usually surprised when the dog turns and bites. Unfortunately, this often times causes an additional escalation to violence, in my experience.

(Hope that made sense)

 

[Rich Parsons]

I know this may sound stupid but is being a coward really an advantage, I mean how many coward people put themself in the middle of danger. For the most part they stay to themself and go unnotice in society. Is this a great approached toward self defense or is it a statistic waiting to happen.

I was talking to a friend that said his friend for thirty years has nevr been in any confitation and he was the biggest coward in the world, I looked at him and laughed but after rethinking what he said it made sense you go to a club do you really notice the greek at a table by themself no bot really. At sporting events those types of people go un notice to the masses, but I just cannot believe thata shyer person is less likely to be a victom.

What are your thoughts on this subject

First off I respect those who have never had a confrontation in their life and or those who have had little to none.

As to blending in and not being seen as a threat this is a good idea. This is good self defense. Also if one is not there when a situation arises then you are not required to act.

Now I have always been large for my size. I have never been able to blend in. It took me lots or practice and years of work at being and dressing like a singel white male who is partially color blind (* I dress in solids *) and working as an engineer, that I have been able to blend in to a crowd. But, I am large and I find it hard to just do it.

I have also this issue of just letting others get pushed around and or hurt by others. So, I have been invovled in some incidents that could have been avoided for me if I had just walked away. But, I do not know how bad it could have been with out me interrupting the assault(s). Now of course the LEO's here and then wil tell me and others that unless required only call for help do not add to the situation. And for your own self defense it is good advice.

If a person buys average (* but nice *) clothes and car and normal plate with nothing special on the car and just drives normally most people will not notice them. They will not be selected for being the target of someones anger.

One does not want to be seen as a victum, which brings out the agression of others around them.

Cowardice is not that bad an idea for the individual.

 

[MBuzzy]

I think there is also a big difference between cowardice and the appearance of cowardice. Someone who walks away from a fight or allows someone to insult them without retaliating physically will be called a coward by many people. As far as I'm concerned, it takes more bravery to walk away than it does to fight.