Parents in the Classroom

[fnorfurfoot]

I currently teach out of a YMCA. For the past two years I have allowed parents to sit along the walls during the classes (which went against my own feelings about having them in the room). Now I have roughly 40 students in the room and I have finally kicked the parents out. It got to the point where I was telling the parents to be quiet more than the students. It's been two months and for the most part the parents have been pretty good about it, but there are a few who give me a hard time about the fact that they are paying for the class and expect to be able to watch what their child is doing.

So I have a few questions for everyone related to this. First, do you allow parents to watch your children's classes? If not, what reasons to you give for the ban? How do you deal with parents who don't understand?

 

[Makalakumu]

I tell the parents that if they want to watch their children train, they can put on a dobak and get in line.

Otherwise, they can take their children and hit the road.

My official school policy is that children under 12 must be accompanied by a parent...although I have one student who is 11 and I have grandfathered him in.

I find that this policy cuts down on the amount of children that enroll at my school, but it encourages families to do things together...which is always a good thing.

 

[terryl965]

Me I sit the ground rule down beforew they sign up. You are allow to watch but no involvedment with the class, we also ask no cheering or given direction during class. This has worked well for the most part you always get one or two that thinks this is like football and scream and yell but then the other parents are more than happy to explain the policy over again.

I know I would not leave my child without me being present but that is me after I get to know them and feel comfitalble then it is ok.
Terry

 

[Jade Tigress]

Parents (including myself) watch their kids in my son's TKD class. I always sit quietly and observe the class. But other woman are chit-chatting, laughing, and *gasp* HUGE PET PEEVE OF MINE...yelling and coaching their kids from the parents area. (which is 2 rows of chairs separated from the training area by a low wall. It's the rudest thing I ever saw and it drives me absolutely crazy. At times I can't hear what the instructor is saying, and I am interested in observing. I just want want to yell "shut the **** up!".

Perhaps a "quiet" policy can be enforced. Something along the lines of, the kids are here to train and you are welcome to observe. But in order for your child to get the most out of the class you are paying for, it is important to elimate distractions from their training.

Or you could start handing out pushups to the offenders. lol

 

[SFC JeffJ]

Our policy is pretty much like Terry's. We have one parent right now who tries to "coach" her daughter every class, and I have the same talk with her time after time. She'll shut up for the remainder of that class, but will be right back at it the next one. I just know one of these days I'm just going to shout "shut up or join up" at her.

Jeff

 

[Jade Tigress]

Me I sit the ground rule down beforew they sign up. You are allow to watch but no involvedment with the class, we also ask no cheering or given direction during class. This has worked well for the most part you always get one or two that thinks this is like football and scream and yell but then the other parents are more than happy to explain the policy over again.

I know I would not leave my child without me being present but that is me after I get to know them and feel comfitalble then it is ok.
Terry

We were posting at the same time Terry. I wish the instructors at my son's school would do the same. It drives me crazy but doesn't appear to bother them. I don't know if they're just being polite and they hate it, or if it really doesn't bother them. The instruction is awesome. I couldn't ask for a better TKD school.

Grandmaster Ha recently took 2 junior students (high school freshman, both of them) to a huge tournament at Queens college in NY. One student competed in Poomse and sparring. The other in breaking and sparring. Both students took second place in sparring and first place in Poomse and breaking...this was out of 800 competitors.

They also stress the martial aspect as well as the sporting side of TKD and teach the kids about respect and disipline, and a good attitude, and confidence. It's great. I love the school, I love the instructors. And the parents are all nice too. I just have a problem with coaching from the side lines and loud chit-chat.

 

[charyuop]

Having parents watching is always the best thing. First, it is their right being the kid a minor. Moreover it is good against suing: in case the kid gets hurt there are their parents witnessing (and also other parents).

Training parents on the quite part is a must tho. There should be a policy that states "you talk I have the right to kick you out and sorry but the kid will have to go with you."

 

[morph4me]

I set the ground rules for the parents as well as the students, if you want to observe, you do it quietly, if it gets to loud I ask them to leave, if they object, I tell their child to bow out so they can go with their parents. My class, my rules.

 

[still learning]

Hello, We do like having parents being there. All parents can watch and stay. Number one rules is Watch and NO coaching. Be reasonalbe quiet when talking to each other parents.

We are not baby sitters..many parents drop them off and leave.

No matter how a kid does in class..we expect only positive talks to each and every kid when they come and leave the martial classes. NO scolding!

For promotions and certain things if the parents ask or we mention it..they may take pictures/videos during class time.

We are a very open school and we accept ALL comments! and suggestions!

As Instructors it is our job to teach your child the martial arts and how to become a better person thru our classes.........Aloha

PS: Kids get self-respect from shariing respect and from Role models(the teachers and other kids in class). A child learns from doing and watching...so parents...BE GOOD.

 

[charyuop]

Not to mention that very young kids might be more "serious" if they know their parents are there.

 

[exile]

I have a few questions for everyone related to this. First, do you allow parents to watch your children's classes? If not, what reasons to you give for the ban? How do you deal with parents who don't understand?

We let parents stay and watch their children in class. We'd like to get them to join the glass themselves, because it increases the energy level of everyone's training and also is a very good motivator for both of the parties involved (the child(ren) will be reassured by the parents' participation and the parents are extra motivated because of their kids' involvement). Everyone is quite well-behaved, so we've had no problems along the lines other people have described... guess we're lucky! We use one of the rec centers as our training area and a huge amount of space available, which helps a lot.

 

[jks9199]

I've found that parents watching can be a source of distraction (either they try to coach or help, or just their presence changes their kid's behavior -- usually for the worse) -- but wouldn't ever prohibit them from attending/observing classes. I might ask them to leave if their behavior was a problem, or explain why their child would do better without them being there -- but I'm not comfortable telling a parent that "you can't even watch what I'm doing with your kid!" That sounds way too secretive and way too much like a cult that could be doing bad things with the kids. (I'm not suggesting anyone IS... just that it creates that impression.)

We actively ask parents to attend some things, like promotions or classes where we will be coordinating travel for special events.

I think a lot of it is setting and maintaining the proper tone or atmosphere for people watching. They sit quietly and watch; if I need to, I explain this in more detail or more specifically on an individual basis. I do remember ONE instance where I had to publicly explain to a parent that I was the instructor, not them. Never happened again, though, and the kid continued to train with us.

 

[fnorfurfoot]

Not to mention that very young kids might be more "serious" if they know their parents are there.

I've actually noticed a completely different reaction when parents are watching. The children goof off more when they know mom and dad are around. I don't know why that is, but we have had better behavior now that the parents are gone. The children are forced to pay attention to what is being taught instead of looking over their shoulder to see if mom is watching.

 

[Kacey]

Parents are welcome to watch, unless they become a distraction; then they are asked to be quiet. Since my class is held in a dance studio which started life as a racquetball court, there is an observation area above and behind the room, which is where parents and other observers generally sit. I have never had to ask a parent to leave or be quiet - the few times it has happened, the incensed and/or horribly embarrassed child has ensure that it never happened again - also, parents who have been there before will invite newer parents out into the hallway if they become too loud and disrupt the class. Since I don't generally take students under 10, it hasn't been too much of a problem; parents of older students generally don't seem to need to cling as much as younger ones, and, once they are certain of the format and safety rules in place, generally don't stay during class, although they are welcome to do so.

 

[searcher]

I keep them seperated away from the kids. They can watch, but they know ahead of time that if they talk in class they are not to come back. This may be an extreme punishment, but that is the way it goes. They can help if they want to be a class participant.

It is kind of funny, but the ones that talk the most have the least knowledge. I have told them that if they know so much they can teach their own child. Most don't take up that offer.

 

[zDom]

I set the ground rules for the parents as well as the students, if you want to observe, you do it quietly, if it gets to loud I ask them to leave, if they object, I tell their child to bow out so they can go with their parents. My class, my rules.

This is the best policy, IMO.

You want parents to watch but can not allow them to become a distraction.

 

[Robert Lee]

I have found that students learn better when the parents are not watching. Seem at times the students Are more prone to not relax and learn as well because they know they are being watched. Now A would refuse a parnet but recomend they drop off there child and return at the end of class. I also will never except a young adult. That can not maintain a certion attention span. If they can start with a 50 percent span they will improve to 100 percent. Fare to the parents the student and the class in general. As lees then this they just are not ready to learn. Unless 1 on 1. Which would be costly to the parents. Even testing they seem to test better not being watched.. But each school will have there policy If it works out thats all that counts.

 

[MJS]

I currently teach out of a YMCA. For the past two years I have allowed parents to sit along the walls during the classes (which went against my own feelings about having them in the room). Now I have roughly 40 students in the room and I have finally kicked the parents out. It got to the point where I was telling the parents to be quiet more than the students. It's been two months and for the most part the parents have been pretty good about it, but there are a few who give me a hard time about the fact that they are paying for the class and expect to be able to watch what their child is doing.

So I have a few questions for everyone related to this. First, do you allow parents to watch your children's classes? If not, what reasons to you give for the ban? How do you deal with parents who don't understand?

The last school I taught at, the seating area was a seperate area from the training area. It was seperated by a door and glass. When the classes started, the door was shut. For the most part it was pretty sound proof, but there were times when it was still a bit noisey. I had no problem with asking the spectators to be respectful of the class in session. If this was a problem that was getting out of hand, I'd bring it to the attention of the school owner.

Parents need to realize that while they are paying and should be able to watch, that by talking, they're creating a distraction to their child. If their child isn't paying attention, they're not learning and the parents are wasting their money. Its hard enough at times to keep everyone in line, without having outside distractions. I realize this is the Y, so a seperate area may not be available, but if they're creating that much of a problem, tell them to leave. Its that simple. Is it fair to the other people, both kids and adults, that now you have to stop what you're doing, now taking time away from the kids that are paying attention, to tell the disrespectful parent to keep quiet? If they get mad, then they get mad. If they leave, then they leave.

I know that sounds a bit cold, and may not be the answer you're looking for, but going on what you've said, it seems like there are some stubborn folks you have to deal with.

Good luck!

Mike

 

[stickarts]

We allow parents to watch since I think they should have that privilidge as a parent. As a parent myself, I know I like to watch my kids swim, etc...
However, creating a separate spectator area is one of the best improvements that we made in our school since it does afford a better training area which is less distracting to the students.
I definately have no problems asking a parent to quiet down or leave if they are disruptive. Students are paying for quality training. Better to have one leave than to upset the whole class and have half the class quit!

 

[RheaHS]

Parents in the dojo...NOOOOOOO!!!! We've had too many problems during the junior classes. There's a viewing gallery upstairs they can use, but any disruptive parents are asked to leave. Must be our intsructor's manner, but I've never seen any majorly irritating parents come back...