Parents Should Have to Take Some Trial Classes!

[Lynne]

This is a little rant.

I'd been watching my daughter take classes for about 7 months before I signed up. I knew it was hard. But there is no way anyone can understand or appreciate the mental overload unless they take classes themselves, not to mention the trashed knees, hurting ankles, throbbing bum, ad nauseum.

The other day a boy, about age 10, had failed his test for 5th gup. He was crying and his mother started screaming at him, "You said you were ready. You practiced downstairs before the test!" Sorry,lady,but just practicing before the test ain't gonna cut it. She seemed embarassed that he'd failed and had no sympathy for him. Personally, for a child that age, I think the parent has a responsibility to help the child and ensure they are ready. Am I wrong?

Parents practically forced our school to enroll their daughter in Black Belt Club. She's a newly white belt and only 5 or 6 years old. What the heck??? Oh, I wish her parents were forced to get out on the floor and do 400 crunches, 100 knuckle and fingertip pushups, 100 leg lifts, and 300 wall kicks. That's just part of the warm up! And then they could learn the first form, reverse punching and front jump kicks, all in the first class. Maybe they'd change their mind?

 

[Bob Hubbard]

I agree. Too much coaching from the armchair today without the experience. Hell, I'd like to see any parent who can do that workout.

 

[Kacey]

Even if parents don't join the class, they need to learn the philosophy. I had a student several years ago who was 8 years old; he passed his 9th gup (high white) belt test, and I upped my expectations in terms of the quality of his performance; his mother took him out of class a month later because, she said "he's just not getting the nurturing he needs". Well... duh! I'm not there to nurture him - I'm there to teach him TKD - which includes correcting his front kick when he uses his heel instead of the ball of his foot, and other, similar, "non-nurturing" things.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

nurturing is mommies job.

 

[CoryKS]

Well, it depends. I agree that parents need to be supportive, but not that they necessarily have to "walk a mile in their shoes". Particularly if it's an activity that the child wanted to do. On the other hand, I'd like to see the loudmouth parents at my son's soccer games to get out there and sprint for an hour or so, heh-heh.

Parents practically forced our school to enroll their daughter in Black Belt Club. She's a newly white belt and only 5 or 6 years old. What the heck??? Oh, I wish her parents were forced to get out on the floor and do 400 crunches, 100 knuckle and fingertip pushups, 100 leg lifts, and 300 wall kicks. That's just part of the warm up! And then they could learn the first form, reverse punching and front jump kicks, all in the first class. Maybe they'd change their mind?

That's the warm-up for the 5-6 year olds?! What kind of gulag are you training in?

 

[terryl965]

Sometimes parent want there child to be the star and not understanding the Martial Art it is not like being a star it is about a life lesson and the overwhelming trails of everyday life obsticles.

 

[IcemanSK]

Even if parents don't join the class, they need to learn the philosophy. I had a student several years ago who was 8 years old; he passed his 9th gup (high white) belt test, and I upped my expectations in terms of the quality of his performance; his mother took him out of class a month later because, she said "he's just not getting the nurturing he needs". Well... duh! I'm not there to nurture him - I'm there to teach him TKD - which includes correcting his front kick when he uses his heel instead of the ball of his foot, and other, similar, "non-nurturing" things.

Wow, this is classic! Well said, Kacey.

I had a parent of 2 of students say something actually quite refreshing on this subject. She took her kids to another TKD school in town. The instructor "went into great detail about how he would help develop character, help boost grades, & other things like that." She told him, "That's my job. Thanks anyway. She told me that she wants her kids to learn MA in this time. That's why they are in the class. In reality, they are 2 of my most focused & enjoyable students.

 

[MJS]

This is a little rant.

I'd been watching my daughter take classes for about 7 months before I signed up. I knew it was hard. But there is no way anyone can understand or appreciate the mental overload unless they take classes themselves, not to mention the trashed knees, hurting ankles, throbbing bum, ad nauseum.

The other day a boy, about age 10, had failed his test for 5th gup. He was crying and his mother started screaming at him, "You said you were ready. You practiced downstairs before the test!" Sorry,lady,but just practicing before the test ain't gonna cut it. She seemed embarassed that he'd failed and had no sympathy for him. Personally, for a child that age, I think the parent has a responsibility to help the child and ensure they are ready. Am I wrong?

Parents practically forced our school to enroll their daughter in Black Belt Club. She's a newly white belt and only 5 or 6 years old. What the heck??? Oh, I wish her parents were forced to get out on the floor and do 400 crunches, 100 knuckle and fingertip pushups, 100 leg lifts, and 300 wall kicks. That's just part of the warm up! And then they could learn the first form, reverse punching and front jump kicks, all in the first class. Maybe they'd change their mind?

Its a sad thing, but it happens all the time. There were times, when I was wondering if the child even had parents, because I never saw them. The child would come in, take the class and then leave. I'm not saying that the parent had to stay for each and every class, although some of them did, but come on, at least have a clue what the child is doing.

I've seen the situation you mentioned above. Not only did it play out just like you describe, but I'd also get the ones, who signed up with a friend. Difference is, the other kids parents would be an active part of their childs progress and often start to move ahead of their friend. Parents would say, "I don't understand. Johnny started the same time as Joey and Joey is so much better." Well...maybe if you spent some time working with your child, came to more than one class a month, you'd know what was going on!

In cases like this, it would be good to have the instructor sit down with the parents. Having them realize that they need to be a part of their childs growth in the arts, is important.

 

[Touch Of Death]

This is a little rant.

I'd been watching my daughter take classes for about 7 months before I signed up. I knew it was hard. But there is no way anyone can understand or appreciate the mental overload unless they take classes themselves, not to mention the trashed knees, hurting ankles, throbbing bum, ad nauseum.

The other day a boy, about age 10, had failed his test for 5th gup. He was crying and his mother started screaming at him, "You said you were ready. You practiced downstairs before the test!" Sorry,lady,but just practicing before the test ain't gonna cut it. She seemed embarassed that he'd failed and had no sympathy for him. Personally, for a child that age, I think the parent has a responsibility to help the child and ensure they are ready. Am I wrong?

Parents practically forced our school to enroll their daughter in Black Belt Club. She's a newly white belt and only 5 or 6 years old. What the heck??? Oh, I wish her parents were forced to get out on the floor and do 400 crunches, 100 knuckle and fingertip pushups, 100 leg lifts, and 300 wall kicks. That's just part of the warm up! And then they could learn the first form, reverse punching and front jump kicks, all in the first class. Maybe they'd change their mind?

Perhaps the kid has a problem with saying he is ready and the mother is pointing out that his words don't ring true. My Parents never payed the least bit attention to my Martial arts one way or the other; so, I applaud the mother for being involved. It isn't her job to prepare, however.
Sean

 

[MJS]

Perhaps the kid has a problem with saying he is ready and the mother is pointing out that his words don't ring true. My Parents never payed the least bit attention to my Martial arts one way or the other; so, I applaud the mother for being involved. It isn't her job to prepare, however.
Sean

You bring up a good point. Then again, ultimately, regardless of what the child says, its up to the inst. to decide when the students are ready. IMHO, this wouldn't be a bad thing to stress...dont ask when you'll be promoted. When the insts. decide, then it'll happen.

I like to compare to an extent, MA training to school. If the child doesn't do well in school, they fail and stay back. Same thing with MAs. Then again, my parents were active in making sure I did well in school, so one would think that if they're spending good money on MA training, that they'd want their kid to do well, no? If a parent can set time when a kid gets home from school, for homework, why not set a time to MA practice?

 

[crushing]

Perhaps the kid has a problem with saying he is ready and the mother is pointing out that his words don't ring true. My Parents never payed the least bit attention to my Martial arts one way or the other; so, I applaud the mother for being involved. It isn't her job to prepare, however.
Sean

Or maybe the kid is so wore out from doing the 400 crunches, 100 knuckle and fingertip pushups, 100 leg lifts, and 300 wall kicks just as the warmup that the young child finds it difficult to concentrate once they finally get to the martial arts?

 

[Yeti]

Perhaps the kid has a problem with saying he is ready and the mother is pointing out that his words don't ring true. My Parents never payed the least bit attention to my Martial arts one way or the other; so, I applaud the mother for being involved. It isn't her job to prepare, however.
Sean

While I applaud any parent that wants to take an active role in their child's activities, yelling at your child upon a failure is not something I applaud at all. That's not a lesson I want to teach my children.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Or maybe the kid is so wore out from doing the 400 crunches, 100 knuckle and fingertip pushups, 100 leg lifts, and 300 wall kicks just as the warmup that the young child finds it difficult to concentrate once they finally get to the martial arts?

Perhaps the instructor feels he gets better results with a worn out kid. I don't know (don't care either) My teacher likes us to be a bit worn out for a test.
Sean

 

[Touch Of Death]

While I applaud any parent that wants to take an active role in their child's activities, yelling at your child upon a failure is not something I applaud at all. That's not a lesson I want to teach my children.

Parental involvement is a double edged sword. They help, but they also help with the baggage.
Sean

 

[Yeti]

Oh, I wish her parents were forced to get out on the floor and do 400 crunches, 100 knuckle and fingertip pushups, 100 leg lifts, and 300 wall kicks. That's just part of the warm up!

 

[Blindside]

Perhaps the instructor feels he gets better results with a worn out kid. I don't know (don't care either) My teacher likes us to be a bit worn out for a test.
Sean

We do that to the testees with nerves, they relax once you tire them out a bit, and they stop thinking about what they are doing.

Lamont

 

[Grenadier]

I'm fairly certain that Lynne was just trying to get a point across, regarding all of those excercises, and other than the exaggeration, I agree with her entirely, that parents should take classes, just to see what their children are doing, and to get a better understanding.

Some parents see the top students excelling, while seeing their own children not doing quite as well, and start berating their kids, wondering why they can't do as well. Other times, some parents try to coach their kids from the viewers' area. Either way, they're being a distraction, and not helping their child's development.

When the parents decide to start training, this almost always has a very positive effect on their children's training. First, it gives the parents a better understanding of what actually goes on, and what the human body can, and cannot do. Equally important, is the fact that most kids tend to train harder if they're training alongside their parents.

We actually encourage the parents to take a free lesson or two. It's a great way to bring in more people onto the training floor.

 

[avm247]

I study TKD with my son. Actually, I started TKD because my son wanted me to take it with him. His class is before mine on M and W and on Saturdays, there is a combined class.

Earlier in May, we tested for our Yellow belts. Last night, we had belt cermonies for the students who tested. One parent was upset because his children did not receive the next (orange) belt. The instructor said that they had not tested because they weren't ready. The parent did not pay any testing fees. The parent did not even know that there was any testing. The parent only knew about the belt ceremony because towards the end of class, before bowing out and reciting tenants, the students were told to change their belts and then line up.

The parent had no clue what their child was learning, only that they are enrolled in a class. Some parents sit in and watch and have an idea of what's going on. My son waits for me until after my class is done and is sometimes invited to do some drills with us so he gets to pick up some new stuff (but he typically watches what the other (read: higher) belts are doing). We practice together our forms, blocks, kicks, strikes, one-steps etc, so I know he's prepared when he comes to class. I think that if parents take an interest in what their children are doing and participate (even if just watching), the child will do better.

As far as putting the child down - that's just wrong. Learning how to fail and pick oneself up and try again is one the best lessons that a child can learn. Learning how to lose is just as important as learning how to win.

 

[Kacey]

As far as putting the child down - that's just wrong. Learning how to fail and pick oneself up and try again is one the best lessons that a child can learn. Learning how to lose is just as important as learning how to win.

Very true... too bad so many parents have not learned this, and are raising children who think that they will get everything they want, because they have never experienced anything else.

 

[Cirdan]

The other day a boy, about age 10, had failed his test for 5th gup. He was crying and his mother started screaming at him, "You said you were ready. You practiced downstairs before the test!" Sorry,lady,but just practicing before the test ain't gonna cut it. She seemed embarassed that he'd failed and had no sympathy for him. Personally, for a child that age, I think the parent has a responsibility to help the child and ensure they are ready. Am I wrong?

If I ever run a Dojo myself the bottom line of the contract will read "Instructors are allowed to smack parents upside the head and yell
"IT IS NOT ABOUT THE BELTS!!!""