You are confusing fighting with self defence, it is a common mistake.
Fighting is self-defense.
Fighting in the street is illegal, self defence is legal. How then can they be the same thing? This audio book will explain the differences (and the similarities) between fighting, martial arts, and self defence. It also explains why people often confuse them as being the same thing, and why this confusion leads to people wrongly assuming that the ability to āfightā means you have the ability to defend yourself.
The Martial Map (Free Audio Book) | Iain Abernethy
You have to fight against bad guys to defend yourself.
No you don't have to at all. You are saying āhave to fightā so the only possible solution to a self defence situation is violence, which is simply not true. You can walk away, you can use verbal de-escalation. Even if you have no choice but to act physically, you can strike pre-emptively and continue striking until the threat is neutralised, then run away. None of these three options are "fighting".
This is a self defence technique.
It does not look like two people sparring/fighting in the gym. Why not? Because it isnāt, it is a self defence not a fighting/sparring.
When your fist meet on your opponent's face, he will no longer bother you any more. It's better for your fist to meet on your opponent's face than for your opponent's fist to meet on your face.
I donāt think you will find anyone that would disagree with that.
Self-defense doesn't mean that you don't fight back.
It does not mean that you donāt take physical action no, but you donāt engage in a āfightā. That is the point.
Muggers, sexual predators, drunken idiots trying to glass you because you were āstarring at my girlfriendā donāt stand six feet away in a fighting stance with their hands up in a guard and spar with you. They will be close enough to sucker punch you and then they will use distraction āhave you got the time mate?ā before they strike, in order to increase their chances of success. That is not a fight. Criminals donāt want a fight, as there is the chance they could lose. They simply want attack you until you are no longer in a position to stop them getting what they want. They donāt want the āback and forthā exchange of techniques that happens during a fight, they donāt want to out point you or defeat you, or test their skill. They donāt want to play your game (consensual violence/fighting) they want to play their game (criminal violence). Fighting is not a blanket term for violence, it is a specific term in which two or more people engage in consensual violence to test their skill or ādefeatā their opponent.
Criminal violence (i.e. What self defence skills are designed to protect you from) is a very different animal to consensual violence. Fighting in the street like a pair of drunken idiots is NOT self defence.
You do fight back and that's "fight" by definition.
No it isnāt. A fight takes place between two or more WILLING competitors. By definition in self defence at least one persons is UNWILLING. You do not āfightā a criminal. Fighting is a āback and forthā exchange of blows between skilled martial artists. You do not want a āback and forthā exchange, you do not want him to āget a goā.
Of course you can run, but when someone attacks your family members, you just can't run away and you have to "fight".
No you donāt āfightā you āprotect themā. If you train to fight, then when you knock someone to the floor you will rush over and keep hitting them until the ref comes over waves the fight over and pulls you off. Nothing wrong with that, well done, you have won. But if that is what you are trained to do, then that is how you will react under pressure. So you strike someone pre-emotively in self defence, and then the fall and are dazed. Your training kicks in and you rush over and follow up with additional (unnecessary) strikes, instead of choosing to flee when you had the chance., Now you are no longer defending yourself, now you are committing assault. All of the witnesses that have now turned round to see what the commotion is will see a dazed and defenceless man on the floor and you beating the **** out of him. This is the statement they will give to the police, and this is the statement that will convict you in a court of law. Imagine CCTV footage of that being played in court!
Fighting is about defeating an opponent. Self Defence is about creating the opportunity to get away from people who want to harm you.
When you train for self defence, when you strike pre-emptively and they fall and are dazed you donāt rush over to ādefeat themā you back away with your hands up palms out (to show all the witnesses that you donāt want to fight) and then you get the hell out of there. Witnesses will give statements to the police saying they saw a man on the floor dazed and you backing away showing you didnāt want to fight. The CCTV footage of that will look a lot better for you in court (in fact if you know how to get key phrases into you statement, it will never even get to court).
Fighting is as a term which refers to people engaging in consensual violence, either in the ring or in the pub car park to settle an argument. It starts six feet apart in a fighting stance with your hands up in a guard, and it needs certain specific skills. The purpose is to defeat or āwinā over your opponent. It is also illegal in the street or pub car parks. Sparring is a fighting skill.
Self defence is about dealing with criminal violence, not consensual violence. It contains at least one person who does not consent, it will take place at āsucker punchā range, the purpose is not to defeat an opponent, but simply to create the opportunity to flee. It is perfectly legal, and more importantly it requires a different skill set to fighting. Sparring has nothing to do with self defence.
If I kick someone in the groin and run away this works for self defence. Does it work for fighting? No, because I will be disqualified for use of illegal strikes, and for failing to engage with my opponent (running away). Conversely, if you triangle choke someone in the ring, you win. Triangle choke someone outside the chip shop on a Friday night and his mates stomp your head flat. By no definition can a technique that ends up with you dead be argued to work for the purposes of self defence, and yet it works in a fight and so people who can fight assume they can defend themselves. They are different things, so they need different skills, and just because one skill or techniques works in one field does not mean it will work in the other. Hence sparring in an MMA gym has nothing to do with self defence. If what you are doing in the street looks like sparring then you are not defending yourself, you are fighting, and you are breaking the law.
Like I say, listen to the martial map podcast, it will explain why:-
Martial arts, self defence and fighting are three different things
Why people make the mistake of confusing them as being one in the same
How the skills needed for success in won DO NOT automatically transfer to success in the other.