Thats the point, my brown belt felt liked it weighed a few ounces and then I put on the black and it feels like it weighs several hundred. You go from feeling like you know so much to the next realizing you know so little. Does it get better the higher you go? I test for my 2nd Dan soon do the belts get heavier or do you finally come to a point of acceptance? All this could stem from the fact I am a little bit of a perfectionist (could you tell?)
First of all congrats on a job well done. You worked hard and should be proud.
Second of all enjoy yourself. Its good to strive for perfection but don't beat yourself over the head driving yourself crazy about it. Life is short.
Now, I have a bit of a radical philosophy on belts and responsibilities.
The only responsibility you have is to yourself. I do not train to honor my masters or set an example for anyone. I do not owe anyone anything. I am thankful for the quality of training I have recieved. But, I paid for the service and earned my rank and skill while doing so. Yes, I have made many friends and have enjoyed learning from my teachers.....But.
I train for me. I gladly give my best and help my training partners be the best they can and help them whole heartedly. I do not feel any weight or burden with my training.
It is purely for my enjoyment. The day I start getting stresses out about my rank and responsibilities it becomes a second job and is no longer enjoyable. I know, I've been there before.
I know this may be construed as arrogant and blasphmous and very un martial arts like. This is not the case. My character is in little need of perfecting. I do not look to MA for moral guidance of some great philosophical enlightenment. It just is what it is. The learning, the challenge, the comraderie, the fun.
You may now burn the heretic at the stake..........:flame: Marc-