Student/Instructor relationships

Big Don

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Not THOSE kind of relationships. Romance in the dojo would be worse than romance at work.

I have an awesome relationship with my Sifu and the other Black Belts at my dojo. They, along with my fellow students are my closest friends and we are more like a large family with Sifu as the patriarch, than anything else. I know if I need for anything I can call on someone there and whether my need is help with a problem technique or form, or a 1am ride to the Emergency room with chest pains (God, that was scary) it is no problem. We hang out together outside the dojo. When we travel to a camp or some other activity in a large group, we don't have problems. We went to Scott Halsey's Kenpo Camp in Redding, 15 people in two vans for five hours each way, not one argument. I can't do that with my family.
Is this common? Are you friends with your instructors/students, or did I just get really lucky?
 

Brian S

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My instructors are very close friends as well as others I train with. I think there are about 10 of us who keep close contact,but we have been training together for a long time.
 

Jade Tigress

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Is this common? Are you friends with your instructors/students, or did I just get really lucky?


I don't know if it's common, but my instructors/classmates are like a family. We get the students who cycle in and out, but the "regulars" become close friends. We have school functions a few times a year. We'll go out to dinner, or a movie, etc. It's great. In addition, I've received the most support and help during the most difficult time in my life from my kung fu family. I think with that common love for training, and the regular contact with the people you train with, you can't help become close. I feel sorry for those in schools where this doesn't happen. You got me thinking now, are there any?
 

agemechanic03

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I don't think it's uncommon at all. I mean, I'm here in Korea with the military, so of course we try to stay close together since we don't have our families here. But our instructor (who is Korean) has accepted us very well and we go over to his house all the time and cook out and a few drinks. So yeah, we are all pretty close to each other too in our dojang.
 

KempoGuy06

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Is this common? Are you friends with your instructors/students, or did I just get really lucky?

The people at my dojo are like my family as well. 3 of us are with in the same age range and we are like minded so we get a long very well. Me and my instructor have a really good relationship as well. Honestly if I had to stop seeing these people I dont know what I would do.

B
 

MarkBarlow

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The strongest and most long lasting relationships I have are with fellow martial artists. Years of training together, too many road trips to count, shared joys and sorrows and the common bond of martial arts has created incredibly strong friendships.

I feel very fortunate to have had such a positive relationship with my Sensei. In many ways, Mr. Marshall was closer to me than my own father. For many years I was in the dojo with him 4 days a week and often training with him on weekends. He was the finest man I've ever known and whatever success I have in martial arts is due to following his example and honoring his memory.
 

meth18au

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I have good relationships with the trainers and other trainees at my old Muay Thai gym. We go to fights together, usually take out some ringside tables. We do BBQ's as well on some of the long weekends that come up. Especially around summer time!!!
 

shihansmurf

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In my experience many dojos become like an extended family. I have friends that I started training with in 1983 that I am still in contact with today. My teacher was like a father to me.

I fortunate, I guess, but I wouldn't want to train for an extended time in any school that the students and instructors didn't get along.

Mark
 

lady fighter

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Since my Instructor was my father.. yes my MA school is an extended family too!! :D higher ranking students are like family and we share our joys and sorrows together like a family!! I agree that if a dojang does not have this "family type" bond then it would not be a very good place to be.. JMO! Also, on another note: i.e. romance in the dojang..lol I am currently engaged to another instructor at my school :D (though we keep our romantic side out of the dojang... the students and parents love us as a couple ;) )
 

MJS

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Not THOSE kind of relationships. Romance in the dojo would be worse than romance at work.

I have an awesome relationship with my Sifu and the other Black Belts at my dojo. They, along with my fellow students are my closest friends and we are more like a large family with Sifu as the patriarch, than anything else. I know if I need for anything I can call on someone there and whether my need is help with a problem technique or form, or a 1am ride to the Emergency room with chest pains (God, that was scary) it is no problem. We hang out together outside the dojo. When we travel to a camp or some other activity in a large group, we don't have problems. We went to Scott Halsey's Kenpo Camp in Redding, 15 people in two vans for five hours each way, not one argument. I can't do that with my family.
Is this common? Are you friends with your instructors/students, or did I just get really lucky?

I have been fortunate to form many close relationships with some of my teachers as well as fellow instructors. We've done things that have ranged from dinner after a class or belt test, heading over to someones house to watch a fight on tv, to cookouts.
 

Em MacIntosh

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I owe my instructors everything. Simply because of the tough love and adjustment of outlook. Without them I'd be a different person. Without the knowledge they've shared I'd have lost my life on a few occasions. I will pay them back by paying it forward to the next person I'm able to help.
 
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Big Don

Big Don

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Well that is great! I am glad to hear of so many great relationships.
 

bigfootsquatch

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Not THOSE kind of relationships. Romance in the dojo would be worse than romance at work.

I have an awesome relationship with my Sifu and the other Black Belts at my dojo. They, along with my fellow students are my closest friends and we are more like a large family with Sifu as the patriarch, than anything else. I know if I need for anything I can call on someone there and whether my need is help with a problem technique or form, or a 1am ride to the Emergency room with chest pains (God, that was scary) it is no problem. We hang out together outside the dojo. When we travel to a camp or some other activity in a large group, we don't have problems. We went to Scott Halsey's Kenpo Camp in Redding, 15 people in two vans for five hours each way, not one argument. I can't do that with my family.
Is this common? Are you friends with your instructors/students, or did I just get really lucky?

I am very close to my instructor, but some of the black belts piss me off by their unwillingness to help and so on and so forth. Alot of drama
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Guardian

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I don't know if it's common, but my instructors/classmates are like a family. We get the students who cycle in and out, but the "regulars" become close friends. We have school functions a few times a year. We'll go out to dinner, or a movie, etc. It's great. In addition, I've received the most support and help during the most difficult time in my life from my kung fu family. I think with that common love for training, and the regular contact with the people you train with, you can't help become close. I feel sorry for those in schools where this doesn't happen. You got me thinking now, are there any?


Oh yes, mine was of those that you ask the question for. Our Instructor would come and teach and then leave till the next training session and most of the students were the same way.

When I started instructing my own troops, I broke that bad habit and we were pretty close as described other then alot of assignment changes (Air Force), but for those few that were stationed there for several years, we got close.

I really wish my early years were like you all put down, it would have benefitted all back then.
 

Kacey

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Is this common? Are you friends with your instructors/students, or did I just get really lucky?

I don't know if it's common, but I've been lucky enough to have the same myself, with both my sahbum and my students.
 

tshadowchaser

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Not sure I could ever say I was friends with my instructor. We had many talks about many things and might visit each other once in a while but he was always my instructor and I was always his student.
Now for other students yes I was friends with some of them but not all. heck some of them I could never stand to be around outside of the school.
 

Laurentkd

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Not sure I could ever say I was friends with my instructor. We had many talks about many things and might visit each other once in a while but he was always my instructor and I was always his student.
Now for other students yes I was friends with some of them but not all. heck some of them I could never stand to be around outside of the school.


I think this explains my relationship. My instructor is totally cool to hang out with at martial art activities. For example, we'll play softball at school pic-nics, or drive to another city for a tournament, or all the black belts will go out to eat as a group on occasion instead of having normal class. But everything is still " yes sir" and I would never just invite him over to my house to hang out or anything. I guess you could say we are friendly, but not friends. And I like it that way. I think a little distance keeps a mindset there that is important for training. I go to the dojang to train not to hang out with my buddies.

Although I know I can call him anytime anywhere if I need him- he has told us as such. And I feel the same about my other training partners (those long timers at least).
 
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