Please put your hand back

PhotonGuy

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If somebody puts their hand out to shake hands, instead of shaking hands how about telling them, "please put your hand back"
 

jezr74

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Is this a statement or are you suggesting people should not shake hands?
 
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PhotonGuy

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What Im saying is that people shouldn't have to shake hands if they don't want to. If you want to shake hands with somebody who also wants to, than go ahead and do so but somebody shouldn't be required to shake hands with you if they don't want to. So, if somebody puts their hand out to shake hands and you don't want to shake hands you should be able to tell them to please put their hand back.
 

Blindside

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What Im saying is that people shouldn't have to shake hands if they don't want to. If you want to shake hands with somebody who also wants to, than go ahead and do so but somebody shouldn't be required to shake hands with you if they don't want to. So, if somebody puts their hand out to shake hands and you don't want to shake hands you should be able to tell them to please put their hand back.

It might be less insulting to just give a little bow/nod of the head and say "pleased to meet you."
 

jezr74

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What Im saying is that people shouldn't have to shake hands if they don't want to. If you want to shake hands with somebody who also wants to, than go ahead and do so but somebody shouldn't be required to shake hands with you if they don't want to. So, if somebody puts their hand out to shake hands and you don't want to shake hands you should be able to tell them to please put their hand back.

Your quite right, but there are social consequences as well. I prefer to shake if it's offer and in a business or friendly environment. I don't shake the hands of people who I spot that are about to try and get money out of me, like in say Times Square.

It also depends on what you want your first impression to be in the case of meeting someone for the first time.

Do you have a issue when people offer their hand to shake?
 

drop bear

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What Im saying is that people shouldn't have to shake hands if they don't want to. If you want to shake hands with somebody who also wants to, than go ahead and do so but somebody shouldn't be required to shake hands with you if they don't want to. So, if somebody puts their hand out to shake hands and you don't want to shake hands you should be able to tell them to please put their hand back.


It depends what you are trying to achieve

For me I like interactions with other people to be positive. I just feel it is a better way to exist in this world.
 

KydeX

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Depending on the situation, refusing to shake hands can be seen as quite insulting. Different areas of the world has different social codes. It is usually a good idea to adhere to local customs wherever you go.
 

donnaTKD

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i normally shake hands with my right one and as i'm doing it i touch right shoulder to shoulder -- you tell immediately from doing that if someone is carrying plus it's a friendly gesture too :)
 

jezr74

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i normally shake hands with my right one and as i'm doing it i touch right shoulder to shoulder -- you tell immediately from doing that if someone is carrying plus it's a friendly gesture too :)
You close the distance and touch the other persons shoulder to yours?
 

tshadowchaser

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for years I never would shake anyones hands but I would tell them that " I was sorry but it was nice to meet them" and slightly bow my head. Most people would look at me a little strange but never made a big point about it
 

Transk53

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You close the distance and touch the other persons shoulder to yours?

A lot of Door Supers do that as way of greeting. Although in this case, a testosterone fulled bloke shoulder slap usually. I don't mind shaking hands and would not refuse one. However, I did get a bit OCD when it came to shaking hands with an inebriated bloke who been to the toilet. But yeah generally most people that offer a hand would expect one back, but there are just as many who do not offer a hand in my experience.
 

jks9199

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What Im saying is that people shouldn't have to shake hands if they don't want to. If you want to shake hands with somebody who also wants to, than go ahead and do so but somebody shouldn't be required to shake hands with you if they don't want to. So, if somebody puts their hand out to shake hands and you don't want to shake hands you should be able to tell them to please put their hand back.
Why aren't you?

At work, I rarely shake hands with people. Lots of reasons, from avoiding potential attack, to my hands being dirty, or them being filthy. Sometimes, I'll explain it, sometimes I don't.
 

ballen0351

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Yeah I don't shake hands at work. If they insist I'll do a fist bump but that's it. I usually just say sorry I don't shake hands. Out if uniform I will normally shake it's just easier to be polite and go about my business
 
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PhotonGuy

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Sometimes, quite often I must say, I don't like making physical contact with people, especially other dudes. At times Im just not in the mood for physical contact or touching and that includes handshakes. I have the right to not make physical contact and I shouldn't have to sacrifice any of my rights just so that I'll be polite. Rights are more important than being polite. If somebody asks me to shake hands by putting their hand out they are asking me to forfeit my right and I find that offensive, just like I find it offensive when people try to hold doors for me, after all Im not a woman.
 

donnaTKD

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You close the distance and touch the other persons shoulder to yours?


yup :) i know most people but yup in general that's the only way for me to be truly safe about the person that i'm talking to --- i brought myself up in a really rough area where everyone carried a weapon of some description and it's the ony way to be truly sure about a person - if they've got nothing to hide then what's to lose :)

simply it's a bit like hug in that you tap the other person on the back whilst your shoulders are touching - it's what my friends called "a loving gesture" --- you clasp right hands so that the palms are touching and the thumbs are interlocked the hands are then drawn accross the waist as the shoulders touch - just guarantees safety if i don't know the person well enough too :)

it's all about personal safety at the end of the day - i know from that position that i can do damage if i need to :)
 

jks9199

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Sometimes, quite often I must say, I don't like making physical contact with people, especially other dudes. At times Im just not in the mood for physical contact or touching and that includes handshakes. I have the right to not make physical contact and I shouldn't have to sacrifice any of my rights just so that I'll be polite. Rights are more important than being polite. If somebody asks me to shake hands by putting their hand out they are asking me to forfeit my right and I find that offensive, just like I find it offensive when people try to hold doors for me, after all Im not a woman.

Courtesy and handshakes are two different things. Using a bit of courtesy is what oils the friction caused if you don't shake hands. And getting annoyed ahoy someone holding a door for you because you're "not a woman" is being an *** on many levels.

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using Tapatalk
 
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PhotonGuy

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If somebody gets to a door first and they hold it and expect me to go through it first I don't like that. There was this one time when I was even about twenty feet away from a door and this guy is holding it, waiting for me to go through it, even though I was that far away. If a person gets to a door first they should go through it first. I don't like having my back to people and when I go through a door first the person who is holding it is at my back when I go through. So if somebody gets to a door first they should go through it first, if they stand there holding the door, they're holding me up. Even some women today will get offended by that.
 
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