How do you deal with Egos, Anger, and Bad Vibes in the gym?

JR 137

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From my experience, I'd disagree. I know plenty of martial artists who are cocky f***s outside the dojo, but humble and serious ehile theyre training. Something about knowing the guy in front of you could whoop your *** seems to make people more humble.
While I agree with you, there are those rare exceptions; the people who don't learn their lesson after getting their behinds kicked. Several times. Not just in MA, but in everyday life. Those are the ones the CI needs to get rid of.
 

oftheherd1

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Look I have every respect for soldiers who have given up their lives in service to Tez winning internet arguments. But I won't be emotionally blackmailed. It is a cheap stunt. And I will point it out when it gets used.

And then look up Courage gym in Townsville.

I am glad you respect soldiers of your country. I don't think I said otherwise, but more that you didn't understand them. I still don't think Tez3 did anything wrong.

I did look up Courage Gym in Townsville. I don't get the connection to this discussion. Can you enlighten me please.
 

Gerry Seymour

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Look I have every respect for soldiers who have given up their lives in service to Tez winning internet arguments. But I won't be emotionally blackmailed. It is a cheap stunt. And I will point it out when it gets used.

And then look up Courage gym in Townsville.
I didn't think she was using it to win an argument, rather to point out why the students she works with are different from (or to, for those speaking the "other" English) the students most of us work with. I've trained alongside active duty troops before. They do tend to have a different view, and are typically more respectful of others. (Though I have noticed that some swing hard the other way after they get out of the service.)
 

jobo

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i get peeved when we are drilling and some one uses what o consider to be excessive force. It's about trust and honour if someone leaves themselves open and you hit to hard.
i went to a lesson on a different night and i was drilling with a black belt id not met before, i gave a lazy right cross for him to block and he smashed my arm away with considerable force and a BIG gung fu grunt, i thought you regret that, so on my turn instead of blocking i punched him very hard on the shoulder, and he gave another big grunt, after that he was quite gentle, though he spent the rest of the night rubbing his shoulder
 
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Gerry Seymour

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While I agree with you, there are those rare exceptions; the people who don't learn their lesson after getting their behinds kicked. Several times. Not just in MA, but in everyday life. Those are the ones the CI needs to get rid of.
I think the point is that they are, as you state, exceptions. I've run into some folks like that. I've even seen a few tossed from dojos after many years because they couldn't change (including the BB I mentioned sweeping earlier). But I can count those on my fingers, out of the many hundreds of people I've trained with over the years.
 

Gerry Seymour

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i get peeved when we are drilling and some one uses what o consider to be excessive force. It's about trust and honour if someone leaves themselves open and you hit to hard.
i went to a lesson on a different night and i was drilling with a black belt id not met before, i gave a lazy right cross for him to block and he smashed my arm away with considerable force and a BIG gung fu grunt, i thought you regret that, so on my turn instead of blocking i punched him very hard on the shoulder, and he gave another big grunt, after that he was quite gentle
Sometimes, you gotta.
 

drop bear

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I didn't think she was using it to win an argument, rather to point out why the students she works with are different from (or to, for those speaking the "other" English) the students most of us work with. I've trained alongside active duty troops before. They do tend to have a different view, and are typically more respectful of others. (Though I have noticed that some swing hard the other way after they get out of the service.)

Well I think you made this puppy sad with your post.

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And that is why I disagree.
 

Martial_Kumite

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What I have learned from my instructor, is that people who "lack control" can be delt with in 2 ways. With fire, or suffocation. What I mean by this is if a fellow practitioners beggin to be aggressive you can give them ataste of thiere own medicine. Not to the same degree, but enough to get thier attention. The second option is what most people do, remove or starve the the confrention, which makes sence due to it being easier andless risky than trying to fight fire with fire.

Personally, I will do a bit of both. If I am just trying to do some light sparing (mostly when trying to incorporate new techniques) and my partner is excessively aggressive, I will let them know my intentions. If he continues being excessively aggressive, I give a sample of his/her method. Just enough for them to not want me to. Some times they are just trying, on a different level, or just don't care.
 

Tez3

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Though I have noticed that some swing hard the other way after they get out of the service.)

That is a problem for quite a few, it's as if being cut loose from everything they know and not being with like minded people causes them to go off the rails.
The few civilians we do get in the club do sometimes struggle with the way we are, but that goes for real life as well. A lot of us struggle with the lack of what we perceive as discipline and camaraderie in civilians. Both sides struggle with the different sense of humour ( though medics and police don't we seem to share that).
Frustration at not getting techniques is the most common thing I think but one of the things I like about MMA is that you can work with the technique to make it work so the frustration level is a lot lower. Go too hard on a beginner in our club means you will practice with our chief instructor who teaches you how to have control, when you come back the next week and the pain has worn off you are necessarily going easier and not full gas. :D
 

Brian King

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Training in martial arts or most contact sports inevitably egos are wounded and tempers will flare from time to time.

Personally when things begin to get heated in training I am pretty quick to just bow out of the particular round or exercise. I may or may not give a reason why.

How have you found is best to deal with your own temper/emotions as well as your partners?

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G925A using Tapatalk

My perspective is that not all lessons are obvious and preplanned. Some lessons are internal and some are external and many are both. If things get heated it is a good time to practice regaining control, breathing to calm neutral. The better chance to practice awareness of nearing that emotional line and gain experience of that lines approach and to practice methods for dealing with the emotion and dealing with the root cause of the emotion.

Regards
Brian King
 

Hyoho

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I have to admit I have dealt with the odd one that has what we call the peacock syndrome. I do what I do as a release valve to partly supress aggression. I took me year and ten practices a week to treat fighting as relaxation. Blood drawn once and one guy carried out on a stretcher who got "cocky' and wanted to 'injure'. To me what we do is a means of controlling aggression. It teaches humilty. The stronger we get, the good side also gets stronger.
 

Ironbear24

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People must accept that they are crap and no matter how good you are, there are countless things you can and should improve on.

Yesterday I broke a punching bag at the dojo with a low roundhouse kick, the torque made the chains that hold it up tear the loops they hang by. I was of course happy, sifu was proud but almost immediately he said "the kick can be better."

That same day I got punched in the face several times failing a parry drill. You literally roll with the punches, take pleasure in what you can accomplish and work on improving. I feel like if I had my old ego last year I would have gotten so pissed off at myself for failing the parry drill, that it would just put me in a foul mood the rest of the night. Dwelling on only the negative and not the positives.

Ego can kill progress and just hinder you.
 

Gerry Seymour

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People must accept that they are crap and no matter how good you are, there are countless things you can and should improve on.

Yesterday I broke a punching bag at the dojo with a low roundhouse kick, the torque made the chains that hold it up tear the loops they hang by. I was of course happy, sifu was proud but almost immediately he said "the kick can be better."

That same day I got punched in the face several times failing a parry drill. You literally roll with the punches, take pleasure in what you can accomplish and work on improving. I feel like if I had my old ego last year I would have gotten so pissed off at myself for failing the parry drill, that it would just put me in a foul mood the rest of the night. Dwelling on only the negative and not the positives.

Ego can kill progress and just hinder you.
Glad to see you making some progress with yourself, IB. Hope you are enjoying the results, man.
 
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