How do you deal with Egos, Anger, and Bad Vibes in the gym?

[Tez3]

You see people at their best and at their worst.

We don't see the worst nor probably the best of our students, that's reserved for each other when they work. Our training however hard will never match what they do, in fact our hardest training is relaxation for them, they enjoy de-stressing through training.

 

[drop bear]

We don't see the worst nor probably the best of our students, that's reserved for each other when they work. Our training however hard will never match what they do, in fact our hardest training is relaxation for them, they enjoy de-stressing through training.

That is because your students are better than everybody else though.

 

[Tez3]

That is because your students are better than everybody else though.

Nope, it's because they are all squaddies. One lot have just been deployed to Afghanistan. We lost two out there, both blown up, one was 20 the other 22. So nothing we can do is worse that what they do.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Maybe they would get warned, but more than likely they would get fed to the dogs. I don't tolerate anger or bad vibes in the dojo. Ego is fine, but not anger. And bad vibes in a dojo? Oh no, that's just not happening. Ever.

I just remembered one other time I was angry in the dojo. A BB delivered a fairly aggressive double-leg sweep to a fairly junior student. My temper got the better of me, and he received a much more aggressive version of the same when my turn came.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

If the teacher has a big ego, chances are he really isn't very skilled...the quiet ones are usually the best.

Some of the most skilled people I've met had horrid egos. Didn't make their ego trips more acceptable, nonetheless.

 

[JR 137]

I think a lot of egos being kept in check is on the CI. The CI sets the tone and is the one ultimately responsible for keeping people under control. If he/she's firm in showing it's not acceptable, there's far less problems. If the CI doesn't have much control over the class, stuff can easily get out of hand. It's no different than an academic classroom, workplace, etc. The boss sets the tone and makes no two ways about what's acceptable. Of course there's going to be issues every now and then, but if the boss is truly in charge, they'll be far less frequent and further between.

 

[drop bear]

Nope, it's because they are all squaddies. One lot have just been deployed to Afghanistan. We lost two out there, both blown up, one was 20 the other 22. So nothing we can do is worse that what they do.

That is tragic that you just used that to win a discussion

 

[Jenna]

I dont judge the emotional content as much as i used to.

I agree with that as a productive and beneficial standard to try to stick with #goodonya

 

[Jenna]

Ha no! sometimes i tell a white lie and say I need a break, water, or just some other reason. I just dont see it as necessary to confront someone or point out everytime they get frustrated.

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I agree with you.. like some time discretion being the better part of valour mean avoiding having to face an opponent frustration is simply expedient.. there are two other things I can ask you yes?

If you have not done nothing wrong and yet you walk away does that speak to self-confidence and/or self-value and self-respect? (is just rhetorical like food for thought )

Also, an opponent likewise do not confront the source of their frustration like @gpseymour say, it can be out side stuff in their life.. instead they externalise that and vent on you and there is nobody to calm them and assertively talk with them abou twhat is what.. is what I find work most time.. assertive not aggressive.. different yes?

Ok so is just MA training or competition and not big deal however you can see it is analogue to much of what happen in day to day yes? Wishes to you xoxo

 

[Tez3]

That is tragic that you just used that to win a discussion

Only you would think that winning or losing is important in a discussion. It's a discussion, there's no winning. If you care to look back in the 'in memorium' section you will find I've written about both of them, people who have been here a while know this. I mention it because it puts things into perspective, life is too short to let your ego ruin things.

 

[Headhunter]

I dig in and go at them. But I belive that I have to do hard rounds from time to time just to keep my discipline sharp.

Good for you but I don't want to be shuffling round unable to talk when I'm retired...also what does doing hard sparring have to do with discipline...

 

[Midnight-shadow]

I've occasionally gotten frustrated at my own failings during training, but I've never taken those feelings out on anyone else. I remember 1 time I was starting to get angry at myself and my instructor noticed and told me to take a break outside to cool off before carrying on.

This to me shows how important it is that the instructor is alert and aware of what is going on, in order to prevent incidents from happening and people getting injured out of anger.

 

[drop bear]

Good for you but I don't want to be shuffling round unable to talk when I'm retired...also what does doing hard sparring have to do with discipline...

For me being able to hit out a hard round when I really just want an easy one trains my will power. So that if someone puts a rush on me my focus is on pushing back.

That way if I really need to dig deep and fight I know I can. Even when I am not really prepared to.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

For me being able to hit out a hard round when I really just want an easy one trains my will power. So that if someone puts a rush on me my focus is on pushing back.

That way if I really need to dig deep and fight I know I can. Even when I am not really prepared to.

This is much the same as any other "do it anyway" kind of thing. It's part of the "shugyo" many JMA talk about. Willpower is actually much like a muscle (supported by psych research), and is developed by exercising it. So, when we don't want to go to class/do that drill/spar hard/etc, but we do it anyway, it builds that ability.

 

[oftheherd1]

That is because your students are better than everybody else though.

Don't know about that, but I can easily believe it. Both for knowing Tez3 and for knowing the type of person she is training.

Nope, it's because they are all squaddies. One lot have just been deployed to Afghanistan. We lost two out there, both blown up, one was 20 the other 22. So nothing we can do is worse that what they do.

Since I think Tez3 means combat arms when she says Squaddies, I have to agree that says something about the type of student she has. Especially infantry, but all combat arms. There are stinkers everywhere, but combat arms and especially infantry, tends to either get rid of them or train (classes or less subtle means) the rough edges off them to where they can perform as a team member. It's a real matter of survival.

That is tragic that you just used that to win a discussion

I don't see why what she said is tragic. In fact she has just memorialized them again.

Her point that squaddies are different is I think, quite correct. I don't recall you ever mentioning having any military combat experience, so you might want to think twice before you make judgments like that. I think there are some things you just don't understand about squaddies; how they think and how they do things.

 

[Hyoho]

Training in martial arts or most contact sports inevitably egos are wounded and tempers will flare from time to time.

Personally when things begin to get heated in training I am pretty quick to just bow out of the particular round or exercise. I may or may not give a reason why.

How have you found is best to deal with your own temper/emotions as well as your partners?

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Sounds like someone forgot the arts part in MA. You are supposed to leave those atitudes outside.

 

[Headhunter]

Sounds like someone forgot the arts part in MA. You are supposed to leave those atitudes outside.

Yeah but let's be honest not many do. Everyone has an ego and everyone gets it bruised that's just human nature

 

[drop bear]

Don't know about that, but I can easily believe it. Both for knowing Tez3 and for knowing the type of person she is training.



Since I think Tez3 means combat arms when she says Squaddies, I have to agree that says something about the type of student she has. Especially infantry, but all combat arms. There are stinkers everywhere, but combat arms and especially infantry, tends to either get rid of them or train (classes or less subtle means) the rough edges off them to where they can perform as a team member. It's a real matter of survival.



I don't see why what she said is tragic. In fact she has just memorialized them again.

Her point that squaddies are different is I think, quite correct. I don't recall you ever mentioning having any military combat experience, so you might want to think twice before you make judgments like that. I think there are some things you just don't understand about squaddies; how they think and how they do things.

Look I have every respect for soldiers who have given up their lives in service to Tez winning internet arguments. But I won't be emotionally blackmailed. It is a cheap stunt. And I will point it out when it gets used.

And then look up Courage gym in Townsville.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Yeah but let's be honest not many do. Everyone has an ego and everyone gets it bruised that's just human nature

From my experience, I'd disagree. I know plenty of martial artists who are cocky f***s outside the dojo, but humble and serious ehile theyre training. Something about knowing the guy in front of you could whoop your *** seems to make people more humble.

 

[drop bear]

From my experience, I'd disagree. I know plenty of martial artists who are cocky f***s outside the dojo, but humble and serious ehile theyre training. Something about knowing the guy in front of you could whoop your *** seems to make people more humble.

Yeah but even then there are degrees with that. We had one of our girl fighters trapped in a bulldog choke by another girl on her first lesson.

And you could tell she had a real hard time coming to terms with that.

Variations of that have happened to me a few times and it sucks.

Cockiness and ego are kind of two different things.