To follow my gut or not

Xue Sheng

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I have a rather large purchase (a new house) Iam going to make and it is not an affordability issue that is handled.

I need to get to a better school system for the kids and it is considerably closer to where we (wife and myself) work. It is in a great area with and great school system, great shape, well taken care of and a great price but something just does not feel right. I am getting this feeling of things there will be really tense and I am not a big fan of tense. I tend towards relaxed, see Taijiquan for 18 years.

I suppose it could be the fact that it is a mortgage and I really dont want to get back into that but it also could be I am getting a feeling I should be listening too. I have found over the years that listening to my gut I am right about 90% of the time. But then this could be that 10% I am wrong.

We looked at another house before (that was in worse condition) that was pretty much in the same area and I didnt get this feeling and I could tell by looking at it and needed work BUT. The disclosure statement made us decide not to go forward. I am just not into termites.

At this point we have a hand shake agreement and I am not sure what to do. To be honest I dont even know what I expect from posting this.

My brain say shut up, logic says dont worry about it and my gut says look elsewhere.

Anyone have any thoughts.
 

clfsean

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Go with the gut.

Walk away from it & see if something else doesn't present itself better.
 

terryl965

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I believe in the gut feeling, so if you have that you need to listen. In the end it will be you and your wife that need to make the right decission, noone here can do that for you. I am glad you are able to talk about and respect the board enough to post this. Listen to one's heart is the key to everlasting success.
 

Ken Morgan

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Sounds like you've picked the area you want to live in, now just wait till the right house comes along. There are bound to be other homes for sale, or will be coming on the market. If your gut says no, then it's no. Unless you're in a rush, wait till you find a place, in the area you like, where you don't have that feeling.
 

girlbug2

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Think about what your gut could be telling you...some danger that your conscious mind hasn't picked up on yet, perhaps? It might be the house itself or your immediate neighbors...if your gut served you well in the past, I'd listen to it now.
 

Brian R. VanCise

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Lot's of homes for sale right now.

I can relate a home buying experience from a long time ago.
The wife and I found a beautiful little home in a good neighborhood
and while we knew we would only be their four years it was perfect.

It felt perfect too!

So we bought it and when we sold it we made a good deal of money.

Right before this house though we walked through probably fifty or more homes. Most did not feel right or were not what we were looking for. One felt really weird, maybe even creepy even though the house was exceptional. (fit all our criteria) So I dug up some history on it. Bingo someone had been murdered there. Needless to say we did not buy it!

So I always go with my gut feeling (intuition) and it has always paid off!
icon6.gif



Just my 02.
 

Flea

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Always always always take that feeling seriously. We have intuition for a reason.

Ten years ago I found a perfect apartment - it had a big yard, hipster neighborhood, everything. The day I decided to rent it a hinky feeling set in. I ignored it, and sat down to fill out the application. The feeling got worse with every line to the point that with the signature I felt like I was signing a death warrant. I got in the car to drop it off at the office, and as I got closer, block by block, my heart started pounding.

Ultimately as I got to the final turn, I went the other way and I felt a huge load disappear. Who knows why? But I'd never felt that level of an intuitive mandate before or since. If the place doesn't feel right, don't make that level of commitment to it. It just isn't worth it. You'll find something else.

Happy shopping.
 

Stac3y

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I bought my house because, when I stood in the back yard, a great feeling of contentment and belonging set in (and it fit all the criteria we had set, of course.) I haven't regretted it. I don't think I would buy a home that made me feel tense or uncomfortable, no matter how good it looks on paper. I do have to say, though, that my husband became extremely anxious during the actual process of purchasing the house, and I had to talk him down many times. Some people get really freaked by any kind of major purchase. Could that be what's getting to you?
 

Rich Parsons

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I have a rather large purchase (a new house) Iam going to make and it is not an affordability issue that is handled.

I need to get to a better school system for the kids and it is considerably closer to where we (wife and myself) work. It is in a great area with and great school system, great shape, well taken care of and a great price but something just does not feel right. I am getting this feeling of things there will be really tense and I am not a big fan of tense. I tend towards relaxed, see Taijiquan for 18 years.

I suppose it could be the fact that it is a mortgage and I really dont want to get back into that but it also could be I am getting a feeling I should be listening too. I have found over the years that listening to my gut I am right about 90% of the time. But then this could be that 10% I am wrong.

We looked at another house before (that was in worse condition) that was pretty much in the same area and I didnt get this feeling and I could tell by looking at it and needed work BUT. The disclosure statement made us decide not to go forward. I am just not into termites.

At this point we have a hand shake agreement and I am not sure what to do. To be honest I dont even know what I expect from posting this.

My brain say shut up, logic says dont worry about it and my gut says look elsewhere.

Anyone have any thoughts.

Xue,

I have walked away from deals when I felt like I was being pressed into something I did not want.

I have walked when the haggling got to intense

and when it seemed we could not agree.


In most cases months later the seller came back to my agent asking if I would consider my last bid.

I did not.

I had moved on and would always associate the negative feelings with where I live and said no, I cannot do that.

The realitor would tell me, as she said as it was her business and proper ettiquette to give me the right of refusal and also to see me smile to know that I was right on my feelings for price or something they should fix.


Lots of others have told you similar stuff here to trust your gut and to trust your feelings.

Cars and house while some of the most expensive things we buy and should be looked at logically are the most emotional buys we make in our lives. If it causes issues for you then it will cause an issue and you might be moving in a couple of years.

Do not rush the buying of a house. You may live to regret it.


That being said, ever house will have something that needs to be fixed some time after you move in. So there is risk and you want to limit that risk obviously with inspections from yourself and professionals. There are home buyers insurance that is available to cover the first 12 months of ownership for the large and or major items in the house. So, if there are lots of remodels and updates check the local governement for permits to see if they were pulled and the changes properly inspected. Check to see if there are any new Tax issues such as sewer and or roads that are being proposed.


And most of all, Good Luck and enjoy what ever house you do buy.
 

morph4me

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Xue, I agree with everyone else, go with your gut, it's trying to tell you something, and you should trust it. I've never regretted going with my gut, but I have very much regretted the decision to ignore it.
 

JadecloudAlchemist

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I suppose it could be the fact that it is a mortgage and I really dont want to get back into that but it also could be I am getting a feeling I should be listening too. I have found over the years that listening to my gut I am right about 90% of the time. But then this could be that 10% I am wrong.

I strongly recommend meditation on the subject to connect with your inner self to see where you are coming from. Explore your tension. Your gut/heart has something it is trying to tell you it could be something that has nothing to do with the house but in some way is connected by the path choosen in connection with the house.

At this point we have a hand shake agreement and I am not sure what to do. To be honest I dont even know what I expect from posting this.
If it does not feel right it does not feel right. There may be something hidden. The more you trust your gut the more the bond between you and the instinct becomes more intune with each other and the more it becomes correct. I wish you the best of fortune in what ever choice you make.
 

Flying Crane

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I am getting this feeling of things there will be really tense and I am not a big fan of tense. I tend towards relaxed, see Taijiquan for 18 years.

What do you think will be the source of tension?

As I've posted, I recently bought a house as a first time homeowner. Being in the San Francisco area it was not cheap, is not large, and did/does need a lot of work including a new foundation. But that's simply the reality of where I live. There's no other options, while still being in a price range that I can afford (never mind "reasonable").

It took me a long time to wrap my head around this reality, and become comfortable with it. I agonized over this for a long time. At first, I wanted to pass up the house, but my wife insisted we place a bid, and we ended up owning it.

The foundation is now replaced, as well as a new basement/garage slab and a patio slab out back. We've got a lot of plumbing and electrical and heating issues to work out, as well as other remodelling needs down the road.

Ya know what? Now, I'm OK with it. It's exciting, turning the house into what we want it to be.

We wanted a dojo to train in, and a workshop to do my metal working in, and I want a place to set up a target where I can shoot some arrows. It ain't gonna be perfect, but I think we are gonna be able to do all these things, and we've got a back yard where we might start a vegetable garden or something (I know that doesn't sound so impressive, but around here, yards are really small).

So I went from feeling really uneasy about it, to making it into a good situation.

I can't give you much concrete advice on it, but just wanted to offer another perspective. Do what's right for you.
 
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Xue Sheng

Xue Sheng

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Thanks clfsean, terry, ken morgan, girlbug2, Brian, Flea, Stac3y, Rich, morph, Jadecloud, and Crane.

Here is the thing; I don't know what is giving me this feeling other than my gut.

As Michael asked

"What do you think will be the source of tension?"

I have no idea; it is none of the things he listed. I should be thrilled, financing is not an issue, the price of the house is much lower than market, it comes with damn near everything (appliances) it is quite large, it has new heaters, new AC units (central) , new bathrooms and a new kitchen, the roof is not that old either, the foundation and basement are in perfect conditions as is the rest of the house, it is in a perfect school system and much MUCH closer to where both my wife's and my office. The neighborhood is absolutely wonderful, clean, safe and quiet. The current owner (owner&#8217;s son) has been incredibly easy to deal with. The absolute only things I can see as detractors are the yard is a bit to small but really not that small and the roof over the back patio is to small and needs to be different but it is not a necessary thing to change. Heck I could walk to just about every single store I would need anything from; it is all just that convenient

I do know the owner passed away recently but he was no longer living there full time he was not even in the state when it happened but he was the original owner and took very good care of that house. Raised a family there and his kids are all rather successful today. But he was trying to sell it before he passed away.

And I have been on the phone most of the day talking to all the various people one needs to talk to when one buys house. I even fired a whole group today that was trying to give me money for the purchase but it was high pressure and I&#8217;m sorry but no one can give the rate they were claiming.

I am going to look at the house again this weekend and possibly another one I located today that is in the same school system but a few miles further away, a little smaller and a bit more expensive to see what, if any feeling that place gives me.

Logically I should be absolutely thrilled that I was this lucky to get this house but my gut keeps telling be this is not a good thing.
 

terryl965

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Xue in my experience if it feels bad step aside something else will come by again.
 
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Xue Sheng

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are you superstitious?

are you feeling a bit of a weird "energy" about the place?

Nah!!!! I'm not superstitious...not as long as I have my lucky rabbit&#8217;s foot, lucky penny, only take right turns, carry a 4 leaf clover, recite Lao Tzu everyday at 6:48:32 and carry wolfs bane in my right pocket on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays :D

No I am not superstitious at all and I don't feel anything in the house or on the property. This started about 2 days after seeing it.
 

Flying Crane

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Nah!!!! I'm not superstitious...not as long as I have my lucky rabbits foot, lucky penny, only take right turns, carry a 4 leaf clover, recite Lao Tzu everyday at 6:48:32 and carry wolfs bane in my right pocket on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays :D

No I am not superstitious at all and I don't feel anything in the house or on the property. This started about 2 days after seeing it.


well, keep us posted on what happens. I guess you gotta figure it out. Best of luck
 

Flea

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the price of the house is much lower than market,

That sounds like a potential red flag to me. Have you had it inspected yet? Checked for liens? Seen crime stats for the neighborhood? Maybe a chemical plant or slaughterhouse upwind? There are all kinds of hidden variables ...

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.
 
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Xue Sheng

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That sounds like a potential red flag to me. Have you had it inspected yet? Checked for liens? Seen crime stats for the neighborhood? Maybe a chemical plant or slaughterhouse upwind? There are all kinds of hidden variables ...

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.


Have you had it inspected yet? Not yet but soon, both the bank and one we are going to get done ourselves.

Checked for liens? There are none.

Seen crime stats for the neighborhood? I have family in the neighborhood and it is rather safe, they have lived there for 20 years. It is one of the more desirable neighborhoods in a rather desirable town in an incredibly desirable school system.

Maybe a chemical plant or slaughterhouse upwind? Nope not a one

The current owner inherited it and lives way out of state has a house or 2 of his own and is rather successful and pretty much wants to sell it.

Everything is actually amazingly perfect except for this damn gut feeling.


 

Live True

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Then, based on all your answers thus far...the real question is do you TRUST your gut or not?

You've researched all the obvious things, so far, or plan to. Must gut instincts, particularly if they bother you after that intial twinge...are based on the unobvious.

So, do you trust your gut, or not?

and no, that really doesn't help does it? sawwwwry!
 

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