Technique of the middle finger? and foul words?

still learning

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Hello, When someone shows you the middle finger? or foul words to you and "you""... got angry,mad,fear or a bad reaction to it?

Did you know they "WON" because the purpose was to get you to react that way!

It is amazing how nasty words and a sign language (middle finger) can cause people to fight or yell at each other.....shows this technique works well. (to cause a bad reaction inside of you)

The technique of the middle finger ...can it be defeated? How?

Can you win and know how to win=win here?

What are some of your suggestions for self-defense against the middle finger and "F" words,etc plus?

Aloha ( using two fingers instead of one)....later on the three finger technique...."

PS: How many burgers you want? this is where the three finger technique works well!
 

MAFHonolulu

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I have to admit, I don't think I've ever been given the finger or sworn at really, except in jest. I have, however, had people be rather rude to me or been able to tell they were angry even though they didn't exactly swear. My best strategy is usually to just assume that they must have had a bad day, like maybe their lover broke up with them, or their dog died.
 

MJS

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Hello, When someone shows you the middle finger? or foul words to you and "you""... got angry,mad,fear or a bad reaction to it?

Did you know they "WON" because the purpose was to get you to react that way!

It is amazing how nasty words and a sign language (middle finger) can cause people to fight or yell at each other.....shows this technique works well. (to cause a bad reaction inside of you)

The technique of the middle finger ...can it be defeated? How?

Can you win and know how to win=win here?

What are some of your suggestions for self-defense against the middle finger and "F" words,etc plus?

Aloha ( using two fingers instead of one)....later on the three finger technique...."

PS: How many burgers you want? this is where the three finger technique works well!

Some people thrive on egging others on. They 'win' if the 'victim' loses his cool, fires back with a comment, etc. IMHO, I think the best thing to do is simply ignore the person. As hard as it is at times, its the best way to go. I do my best, although there are times when I really have to bite my tounge, but I know that by ignoring, the other person will get tired due to the fact that its no longer any fun, if they can't make you angry. :)
 

Sensei Payne

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the answer to this question is...Situational.......basiclly, there are way too many variables in thiss question to answer directly...but this is my answer to my students...

Remember your Dojo kun

Strive for a good moral character
Keep an honest and sincere way
Cultivate perseverance or a will for striving
Develop a respectful attitude
Restrain my physical ability through spiritual attainment


and follow them the best way you know how.
 

MBuzzy

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I'm with Terry. Ignore them and walk away. If they follow you, walk away again. If they get violent, then react. Until then....they're just words. Seriously.....people who get angry about that kind of stuff and beat people need to grow up and get over it.
 

Kacey

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People who use gestures or words to provoke a reaction are, generally, bullies - and the best way to deal with bullies is to walk away and not display the reaction they try to provoke. Sadly, this is quite difficult for many people.
 

newGuy12

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I think that I see the middle finger and cursing and so forth most in traffic. If you drive a car on a crowded street, where there are too many cars, maybe "close calls" happen, or someone does not follow the protocols -- wait for the end of the merging lines to merge, do not merge before the lines end, or something.

So, another driver feels like they are "cut off" or something, and -- there goes the middle finger and the yelling.

Now, there are some places where people sit around, drink alcohol, and then feel like a big shot, or whatever. That causes people to get angry, to have misperceptions, and then, "Hey, $!!$@@# you, you !@#$!!" And, then, the other person responds in kind, it keeps escalating, and, bam -- a chair or whatever goes flying.

That's a mess.

Usually in traffic, I just slow down, I yeild (I let the other driver by, whatever). I was a taxi driver once and we watched a WHOLE lot of videos on how to be a courteous driver, to follow protocols. That will usually diffuse the anger enough.

As for drinking, I do not drink alcohol, or hang out with people who are drinking -- I am too old for all of that, and I don't have the need to "give it back" when someone gives me the middle finger salute because I am fully an adult. That is a game for young people (men, I would think, more than women?)

-----------------

Oh, no burgers, I have ONE Pineapple, from the Land of Ed Parker to eat as a treat tonight. -- Good Food is important!!!
 

newGuy12

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You know, I don't want to be too verbose here, but this is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. Even tonight, I spoke to an aquaintance about this martial art school, thinking that he might wish to join me in this training. He told me, "Oh, you are swimming in a sea of violence".

Somehow, that does not seem so true, and I can't put my finger on it. You know, a lot of scriptures exist in many different cultures that speak about kindness, and so forth.

I should not have made it sound like it is reasonable for a young person to just dive right in there and "take the bait", to go ahead and "get their licks in". This day in age its different. Young people shoot each other!!! That was never heard of when I was in high school. It never happened. So, the stakes are higher.

Also, (this is true) -- one time there was a PhD who came to a college campus for a colloquium. Well into the talk (when people were starting to nod off), another freaking PhD who was in attendance took issue with one of the things the man was putting on the black board. He was very vocal and ended up physically struggling with the guest over the marker, to make correction to an equation.

It was shocking.

They did not come to blows, but there was a physical struggle over the marker for a short bit.

Can you imagine? It goes to show that anyone can "loose their head" if they are not careful. They were caught up in the moment and tuned in to far or something.
 

Cirdan

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I always asume people giving the finger are angry because they have run out of toilet paper. Why? The middle finger was originally a technique for umm.. wiping your own behind.
 

Sukerkin

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OT - Kreth, it is not the 'bird' that is attributed historically to English longbowmen but the 'Vee'.

The story is that it was a sign of defiance and retribution to show the French that the bowman still had their first two fingers and thus could still shoot their bows.

Why was that a focus for them? Because the French allegedly used to cut those fingers off captured longbowmen so that they could not shoot again.

I have to say that that is more than a little difficult to back up historically, tho' I have to say I have not looked into it too deeply so there may well be a reference that I'm unaware of that proves the link.

Back to your scheduled thread programming :D.
 

Kreth

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OT - Kreth, it is not the 'bird' that is attributed historically to English longbowmen but the 'Vee'.
Well, the myth has popped up here, and some choose to believe it, even though Snopes has debunked it. It's basically a variation of your story.
 

theletch1

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One of the concepts that we drill constantly in my aikido dojo is the idea of Ma-ai. Stand facing your opponent, put out your arm as your training partner puts out theirs, your fingers should just touch. This is Ma-ai...the last, closest distance at which an unarmed attacker can be and not be considered a threat. At that distance, our drill tells us, the person can swing 'til their arm falls off, kick 'til their knee pops out or swear 'til their head explodes...and they're no danger to us. Any closer than that and we go into another thought process but at that distance or more they are no threat to me and are therefore not high on my anxiety list. One of the earlier posters stated they just assumed that the person "flipping the bird" had had a lover leave them or pet die. That is a great way to see it. It's very aiki and a good way to keep someone else from getting under your skin.

NewGuy, I've been a truck driver for the last 12 years and know exactly how you felt driving a taxi. It's a zen test every day.
 

Touch Of Death

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Hello, When someone shows you the middle finger? or foul words to you and "you""... got angry,mad,fear or a bad reaction to it?

Did you know they "WON" because the purpose was to get you to react that way!

It is amazing how nasty words and a sign language (middle finger) can cause people to fight or yell at each other.....shows this technique works well. (to cause a bad reaction inside of you)

The technique of the middle finger ...can it be defeated? How?

Can you win and know how to win=win here?

What are some of your suggestions for self-defense against the middle finger and "F" words,etc plus?

Aloha ( using two fingers instead of one)....later on the three finger technique...."

PS: How many burgers you want? this is where the three finger technique works well!
Just ask if that is how many ***blank*** you have, had, or want. They usually laugh depending on the creativity of the joke. Then if all else fails, hit them with "finger Set":)
Sean
 

SKB

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Ok so I know people think by using the finger and curse words you are some how a bully or mentally weak or whatever? I am not a bully but if I start cursing at you, and the other things people think are rude, you might not want to blow me off! Maybe, just maybe some of us who use the finger are trying to tell the rest of you something? Cut me off in traffic, to the point I have to react before you hit me and yes you will get the finger! I know it is immature of me to do it since I should just let you into the space I was occupying and be happy you invaded my space and be all zen like about it........ because your time is more valuable then mine.......
You piss me off I am going to let you know. Keep pissing me off and you might not like me. I aint trying to be an *** but really get off your soap boxs for a minute. I get tired of people being rude to me and I'll let them know! What is rude?

Say I'm standing in line to get a soda at a fast food joint. You just walk up and cut in front of me! Now should I just let you do it? Of course in the bigger picture of life it means nothing BUT I think you should have to stand in line like everyone else, so I tell you! Here is a good one which really happened......

Guy is talking to my wife and her friend in a bar for like five minutes. He is not happy since the girl he is hitting on is not interested (no not my wife). At one point he grabs my wife by the arm. Nothing real serious but she has to pull away. I walk up and tell him something along the lines of "That will be enough you can go the **** away." This idiot takes it as an affront to his manhood and pulls his own sports coat down over his arms and waits for his friend to take his jacket off so we can have some sort of chivalrous boxing bout????? Well the wife told me to leave him be and when he finally got the jacket off I told him "You can go now." This dude walked away after a few minutes. Don't you think he should of got the hint I was not playing? Instead he tells me I can not talk to him using such language????? I know this is long but really maybe folks need to think of it in a different light then just that persons dog died??? Maybe they won't give you the finger or curse you out if you pay attention to what it is YOU did to piss them off???
 
OP
S

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Hello, Learning to be mature and being mature is a good thing to know.

Using foul words or showing some kind of sign language or aggresive body language is NOT A SIGN OF MATURITY!

Ignoring the finger and language's...is the first sign of a mature person!

2nd sign is the hands on the pistol grip! ...(onlyl kidding)

HOW MANY OF US ARE REALLY A MATURE PERSON AND CAN BEHAVE THAT ALL THE TIME?

2nd sign is NOT using those middle fingers and dirty words... a mature person will not go there.

Aloha ( my wife thinks I am not mature? ...so I show her some of my fingers? )....thumbs up!
 

SKB

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Some folks are not raised in enviorments were cursing is so bad. Some of you might of been but really there is a whole segment of society were curse words flow! It has nothing to do with being mature.

If you see a scary/bad person and they are cusing and showing you the evil finger are you just going to turn and walk away? I'll give you a hint....... odds are you are going to get hit in the back of the head. I'll go back to my statment from earlier........ Why is the person yelling and cusing and making a fuse? DID YOU DO SOMTHING TO THEM? There really are people who live out there in the world who are not going to turn the other cheeck! I think it comes around to living in the real world!

For the purpose of this thread I think maybe the quickest counter to the finger "technique" might be an quick "Sorry did not mean to do that?" Instead of finding some social high ground and standing on it.
 

Kreth

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I'm with SKB here. I've known people who couldn't put together a sentence without the odd profanity, but who were great people. I've also known the type who were polite in person but would stab you in the back as soon as you turned it.
Sometimes aggresiveness and yes profanity is the best way to deal with a situation. I've talked my way out of a few fights by detailing to my opponent in a loud and profane manner exactly what I was going to do to him if he didn't "back the **** off." Sometimes walking away is the best response, sure, but sometimes you have to establish dominance to avoid getting jumped as you try to walk away.
 

bushidomartialarts

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One way I discuss this with my students...

Usually, somebody swearing at or giving you the finger isn't cussing or flipping off you.

Usually, they're in a bad mood about something unrelated and you just happen to be handy. It's not personal. The person might not even know you. They're not cursing you, they're cursing themselves because they're in pain about something in their own lives.

Somebody in that mental state needs our compassion, even our guidance. Not our anger.
 

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