"IMHO" you have got to be kidding me! Do some of you not get out much? There is a great big world out there and guess what??????? People use curse words all the damn time!!! Of course in polite society, as you stick your pinky out to drink your tea, you might not but the rest of the world does!
You may look down your nose at the guy cusing you out but maybe you ought to be watching for what is coming? If I cuse you out or throw the 'bird' at you then YOU did something to piss me off!!! Not my dog died or any other babbling crap you can come up with! I am pissed at YOU you might want to set aside your thoughts on curse words and listen to what I am saying!!
If some thug starts yelling and god forbid using curse words at you the last things you want to do is turn your back on them or tell them to stop using that langugage!!!!! Think of the cursing as if a dog just growled at you or a rattler is making noise! Or here is an idea........ test your idea of just ignoring the person or whatever!
Find a dog you don't know, think of growling as cursing for dogs, now make the dog growl, keep doing what is pissing the dog off and at some point lets see if you get bit!
"What is right is not always popular, what is popular is not always right" - this quote is attributed to so many people that I won't try to attribute it to a particular author - nonetheless, it makes my point quite clearly. Simply because everyone does something does not mean that that particular activity is appropriate - and too many people feel that their own negative behavior is excused by the negative behaviors of others. How many people speed, or drink and drive, or make rude comments about someone who annoys them... and then complain when they either get called on it (by the police, by others around them, etc.) or when others do the same things to them? I know quite a few - but just because many people react that way doesn't make it
right - just common.
I see this all too often with students at the middle school where I teach; I will stop a student in the hallway and ask why the student did something against school rules (screaming, tripping people, kicking, grabbing things from others, etc.) - the most common answer is "s/he did it to me first". So... that means (to the students - and to way too many adults) that it is okay to break the rules in response to someone else's rule breaking first. "Someone else did it to me first" is a rotten reason to do something you know is wrong, and it's a pretty bad excuse, too.
People react without thinking when they are upset, angry, or scared - I understand that. The question is, can you modify your behavior so that you think
first - instead of reacting in a way you know is wrong just because someone did something wrong to you? I can - I've spend years training myself to do just that, because, as an adult, that's the example I feel I need to set for my students (both in TKD and middle school), and because I feel better about myself when I do so - even if I ***** and moan and complain about the person's behavior later.
If you choose to react in a negative fashion, because someone was negative to you first, that's your choice, just as disliking such behavior is mine - not because I'm "looking down my nose", but because, in my experience,
not responding leads to a much better outcome for
me than responding, as
not responding, or responding in a neutral way, is much less likely to trigger further negative events than responding - which protects me from harm. If you choose to think poorly of me for that choice, that's your option - just as my preferred reaction and opinion is my option.
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