There is a post in the Kenpo forum titled Manners or Kenpo?, which I think applies to a wider group of MA's than just Kenpo.
There are quite a few discussions that arise about the level of respect/formal courtesy that occurs in many MA settings. The difference is, I think, earning respect so that people want to address you respectfully, and demanding respect, and deriding those who disagree.
I respect my sahbum greatly, and I address him with formal courtesy as a measure of that respect. The location we are in (in or out of the dojang) does not change how much I respect him - after all, I respect his knowledge and dedication, not a piece of clothing he can remove at will - and therefore it does not change how I address him. It is his preference that formal address be used in the dojang because he feels that formal address - like wearing doboks - helps to set aside the time in the dojang in a way the aids in concentration. Because I respect him, I also respect his choice to use formal address - and therefore I use it too.
I can say the same thing for many of the other martial artists that I have been privileged to share training time with - both juniors and seniors - and therefore I address them respectfully as well. In non-TKD settings, the definition of "respect", and therefore of "courtesy" (in terms of respectful address) is different, and the format of address may also change - but the respect remains.
For practitioners in other arts, where the rules of behavior are different, the demonstration of respect may not include formal address - but it generally includes listening quietly, asking meaningful questions, trying hard to perform as the instructor asks, and similar actions. The key to demonstrating respect for one's instructor is in how much effort you put into following your instructor's directives; the means of demonstrating that effort will vary from student to student, instructor to instructor, organization to organization, and art to art.
Then there are those who demand respect based solely on a piece of cloth, who expect that rank and rank alone are deserving of respect, regardless of the person's actual knowledge, behavior, and so on, who don't understand why the guidelines for demonstrating respect are what they are, or who have shown, by their actions, that they do not respect those around them, who are, for whatever reason, not deserving of respect. These are often (but not always) the people that others complain about, the ones who throw their rank around and expect others to kowtow to them - the bullies, who gained rank for the purpose of using it against others, or as a means of obtaining power or control.
For those people, I will show the forms of respect out of respect for the dojang, in acknowledgment of the time they have spent reaching that rank, and to maximize my own learningwhile not disrupting the learning of those around me - but I see definite difference between following rules to lubricate social interactions (e.g. following the forms of respect) and demonstrating actual respect for a person, and there are people I will call Mr. or Mrs., sir or ma'am, solely because of the rules of behavior where I happen to be - and others who I will address formally because of the respect I hold for them, who I will call Mr. or Mrs., sir or ma'am, regardless of the situation, because they have earned that level of respect from me.
There are quite a few discussions that arise about the level of respect/formal courtesy that occurs in many MA settings. The difference is, I think, earning respect so that people want to address you respectfully, and demanding respect, and deriding those who disagree.
I respect my sahbum greatly, and I address him with formal courtesy as a measure of that respect. The location we are in (in or out of the dojang) does not change how much I respect him - after all, I respect his knowledge and dedication, not a piece of clothing he can remove at will - and therefore it does not change how I address him. It is his preference that formal address be used in the dojang because he feels that formal address - like wearing doboks - helps to set aside the time in the dojang in a way the aids in concentration. Because I respect him, I also respect his choice to use formal address - and therefore I use it too.
I can say the same thing for many of the other martial artists that I have been privileged to share training time with - both juniors and seniors - and therefore I address them respectfully as well. In non-TKD settings, the definition of "respect", and therefore of "courtesy" (in terms of respectful address) is different, and the format of address may also change - but the respect remains.
For practitioners in other arts, where the rules of behavior are different, the demonstration of respect may not include formal address - but it generally includes listening quietly, asking meaningful questions, trying hard to perform as the instructor asks, and similar actions. The key to demonstrating respect for one's instructor is in how much effort you put into following your instructor's directives; the means of demonstrating that effort will vary from student to student, instructor to instructor, organization to organization, and art to art.
Then there are those who demand respect based solely on a piece of cloth, who expect that rank and rank alone are deserving of respect, regardless of the person's actual knowledge, behavior, and so on, who don't understand why the guidelines for demonstrating respect are what they are, or who have shown, by their actions, that they do not respect those around them, who are, for whatever reason, not deserving of respect. These are often (but not always) the people that others complain about, the ones who throw their rank around and expect others to kowtow to them - the bullies, who gained rank for the purpose of using it against others, or as a means of obtaining power or control.
For those people, I will show the forms of respect out of respect for the dojang, in acknowledgment of the time they have spent reaching that rank, and to maximize my own learningwhile not disrupting the learning of those around me - but I see definite difference between following rules to lubricate social interactions (e.g. following the forms of respect) and demonstrating actual respect for a person, and there are people I will call Mr. or Mrs., sir or ma'am, solely because of the rules of behavior where I happen to be - and others who I will address formally because of the respect I hold for them, who I will call Mr. or Mrs., sir or ma'am, regardless of the situation, because they have earned that level of respect from me.
