Love and the Martial Arts

[Sensei Payne]

I am currently dating a young lady that I met at Karate class. My instructor was doing private lessons with her, because she couldn't meet the regular class times and he asked me to pick up some of the classes that he could not make it to, so of course I agreed, and then I met her, at first it was nothing but a student teacher relationship, but then I started to become attracted to her, and I tossed and turned for about a month if I should take the risk of developing a relationship with someone from Karate class, I asked my instructor if he would approve of it and he told me "As long as class isn't effected by it, I have no promblem." Being twenty years old I then of course spoke to my parents about it, (side note: My Parents and I are more friends than parent and Child, we have a great relationship) and they told me that it was a risk, but thats was something I already knew of course, and I decided that it was to big of a risk to ask her out, and I had put it in the back of my mind.
Well the next time I had class with her, we were working out like normal, and we were working on a tech. where an attacker is in a mounted position basiclly sitting and holding the other down, putting full weight on them, and she was instructed to do the tech to me, and then, she flipped me, my head was slammed on the mats, and I don't know if it was the way she was looking at me or the bonk on the head, but these words slipped out "You wanna go out this weekend?" and she responded with a "Sure."
Ever since then we have been seeing each other, been going steady for over six months now, and we still go to class together and sometimes I am the one instructing, which she and I still do classes together just like before, except we get a little more enjoyment out of it now I think, since we sometimes get to hit each other for fun...lol...but nonetheless, I am very much in love with her....and I am thinking about proposing to her for Christmas...

Thank you for taking the time to read this thread...

Karate No Michi

 

[Kacey]

Congratulations - and good luck for the future!

 

[bydand]

Good for you! Sometimes you have to follow your heart and take a chance. It can pay off in a big, great way. I think it is a great thing to have your better half training because then they are more likly to understand the desire to be at the Dojo/training Hall when you can.

I started dating the woman I eventually married while training together. My brother who owns his own school just proposed to his long time girlfried and they are getting Married this Fall. She showed up right after he opened his school to check out classes and he asked her out right away before she started training with him because he didn't want to have the whole student/Instructor thing crop up after she started. She has been training for some time now and I think we are both living proof that it can and does work.

 

[Sensei Payne]

I have big plans with my girlfriend, life changing ones, ya know, getting married, kids, getting old, you know the american dream right...

and I pray that shes the one...

so much that I am ready to spend my life with her...

getting on One knee and asking her the marry me is going to... well I am gonna be nervous and happy all at once, because...I know she will say yes...tee hee...(well at least I think she will..>.> <.<)

eh...she'll say yes

 

[theletch1]

I'm another who met the woman I eventually married in the dojo. Having a love of the martial arts is a rare thing and finding someone who shares that same love to spend your life with even rarer. I wish you and yours the same happiness that Erica and I have found.

p.s. Getting to toss each other around in the dojo is definetly a plus!

 

[Sensei Payne]

Is that you and her in the Avatar?

Can't get too good of look.

 

[Touch Of Death]

I have big plans with my girlfriend, life changing ones, ya know, getting married, kids, getting old, you know the american dream right...

and I pray that shes the one...

so much that I am ready to spend my life with her...

getting on One knee and asking her the marry me is going to... well I am gonna be nervous and happy all at once, because...I know she will say yes...tee hee...(well at least I think she will..>.> <.<)

eh...she'll say yes

Your twenty.
Sean

 

[Blindside]

Your twenty.
Sean

Yes he is, but he might be right.

Mr. Payne, I'd caution you about posting proposal plans on an open forum, your surprise might not be a surprise and you may be setting up false expectations.

But you are twenty.....

Lamont

 

[Sensei Payne]

Your right, but I highly doubt that she will be on this forum anytime soon...at least not before Christmas, she really isn't the computer type, nor is she the forum type...

So I think it will be ok...but you are correct, i am 20 but this has all been premeditated, and thought through, I know what I am getting myself into, or I at least have a good idea....

But yeah I will try and keep it on the down low, but I am just really really excited

 

[jks9199]

Your right, but I highly doubt that she will be on this forum anytime soon...at least not before Christmas, she really isn't the computer type, nor is she the forum type...

So I think it will be ok...but you are correct, i am 20 but this has all been premeditated, and thought through, I know what I am getting myself into, or I at least have a good idea....

But yeah I will try and keep it on the down low, but I am just really really excited

You're 20. EVERYTHING is urgent to you right now...

If you feel proposing is necessary -- you're 20. You're free to make your own choices.

Let me offer a few suggestions and things to think about. If you're still living at home -- I'd consider changing that before getting engaged. Closely related -- if you're still in school, that's another reason to think about waiting. Finally...

You're 20. I suggest a relatively lengthy engagement. At least a year or three... Just in case you don't feel the same way at 21 or 22 as you do at 20.

 

[Sensei Payne]

I was planning a long engagment, she is in school, so I do want her to finish that..(Shes PreMed, gonna be a Dr.)....and we are both still living at our respective parents homes but it is planned that we get our own place WAY before the actual wedding date...

so yes I have these things in mind

 

[Hawke]

This is just my opinion so take it with a grain of salt.....

I think it's wonderful that you found someone special. To love someone beyond yourself. To put your wife ahead of your own needs and wants.

An important commitment to stay together:
Even if your body changes
Your job changes
Your health changes
Through the good times and the hard times
Without knowing what the future will hold
To stand as one for long as you live

When you guys argue hopefully you guys found a way to settle your disagreements so you both have peace.

This may sound unromantic, but save up for your new life. The cost of living may be higher than you expect, but your love is important than money. Just save and spend wisely. So many couples fight over bills.

Do you have any expectations from your love as a wife? Is she in agreement with your expectation? Do you know what her expectations might be for a husband? Can you afford this new lifestyle?

I am attempting to make you ponder about your future. You do not have to respond. When you get the chance talk with other couples that have been married for 5, 10, 15, 25 years.

Before you propose to her know that this is a story she will want to tell her friends and family and future kids so take some time and research the net to get some ideas. This is a Kodak moment so make it a special memory for the both of you.

You may not like this part, but I agree with others that you should wait. Get a college degree, technical skill, or after your military service. Experience life some more.

All this is just my two cents.

I do wish you and your love to live happily ever after.

 

[MA-Caver]

Good luck and post wedding pics when it happens... but lets not us see...

 

[Hawke]

The last post I read was from JKS when I posted so I didn't see your post (Payne). Wow, she's going to be a doctor. She will be stressed and will need your understanding and support. My friends that went through the medical program to become doctors had tons of exams to study for school, then nationals, then state, and after all that they had a huge debt from school loans.

She will need your emotional support and understanding to make things easier for her to succeed in med school. She will most likely succeed on her own, but friends and family can make life's challenges easier.

You found a special lady (but you already knew that). When you get upset with her, remember the times she made you happy. Never let her doubt your love for her.

Peace.

 

[Sensei Payne]

Thank you all for your support...

I will keep all of those things in mind...

Just an FYI on her schooling, she got a FULL 4 year scholorship to Bereia(sp?) College in Kentucky...and its only two hours away so its not impossible to see her every weekend

 

[Darth F.Takeda]

Good for the both of you.

Train hard and with intent, you have something other than yourself to defend now.

Hope it all goes well.

 

[stickarts]

Congrats and good luck!

I first met my wife through karate. We just celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary.

 

[MarkBarlow]

I've heard of and witnessed dojo relationships with fairy tale endings as well as horrific trainwrecks. If it doesn't work out, (the relationlship, not the marriage) you'll have had good times together and can hopefully focus on that. If it does work out, it will make an interesting story to tell the grandkids..."I met your grandmother while attacking her one night..."

 

[Jade Tigress]

I am currently dating a young lady that I met at Karate class. My instructor was doing private lessons with her, because she couldn't meet the regular class times and he asked me to pick up some of the classes that he could not make it to, so of course I agreed, and then I met her, at first it was nothing but a student teacher relationship, but then I started to become attracted to her, and I tossed and turned for about a month if I should take the risk of developing a relationship with someone from Karate class, I asked my instructor if he would approve of it and he told me "As long as class isn't effected by it, I have no promblem." Being twenty years old I then of course spoke to my parents about it, (side note: My Parents and I are more friends than parent and Child, we have a great relationship) and they told me that it was a risk, but thats was something I already knew of course, and I decided that it was to big of a risk to ask her out, and I had put it in the back of my mind.
Well the next time I had class with her, we were working out like normal, and we were working on a tech. where an attacker is in a mounted position basiclly sitting and holding the other down, putting full weight on them, and she was instructed to do the tech to me, and then, she flipped me, my head was slammed on the mats, and I don't know if it was the way she was looking at me or the bonk on the head, but these words slipped out "You wanna go out this weekend?" and she responded with a "Sure."
Ever since then we have been seeing each other, been going steady for over six months now, and we still go to class together and sometimes I am the one instructing, which she and I still do classes together just like before, except we get a little more enjoyment out of it now I think, since we sometimes get to hit each other for fun...lol...but nonetheless, I am very much in love with her....and I am thinking about proposing to her for Christmas...

Thank you for taking the time to read this thread...

Karate No Michi

I think it's a very sweet story. I know there is alot of controversy over "Dating in the Dojo", but life is too short, and chances for love are too few, to let something special slip away. Whether it's martial arts, work, or any other activity two people are involved in, there is the risk of a failed relationship. How are you going to meet someone you're compatible with if you aren't doing the same things? In any case, congratulations to you and your girlfriend. :asian:

 

[Rich Parsons]

I think it's a very sweet story. I know there is alot of controversy over "Dating in the Dojo", but life is too short, and chances for love are too few, to let something special slip away. Whether it's martial arts, work, or any other activity two people are involved in, there is the risk of a failed relationship. How are you going to meet someone you're compatible with if you aren't doing the same things? In any case, congratulations to you and your girlfriend. :asian:

I guess all the "Training" at work where if could be considered sexual harassment and the possibility of me loosing my job/carear.

If a woman was interested and approached me I would think about it. But as an instructor, I have a personal problem with approaching a woman in class. Not that I have any in class right now. Speaking on theory here.

Best wishes on the new relationship though.