Respect

JowGaWolf

Sr. Grandmaster
MT Mentor
Joined
Aug 3, 2015
Messages
14,064
Reaction score
5,985
I would say neither were disrespectful. Just sounds like a proper handshake to me. Of course, I cannot speak to the person's eyes as I did not see them.
You probably couldn't tell if you saw him, anymore than he could tell that I was sizing him up so I could swing on him. Or maybe he could tell and that's the response he wanted to trigger. Who knows.
 

Hot Lunch

2nd Black Belt
Joined
Apr 25, 2023
Messages
825
Reaction score
392
Ok. So you say that someone like this has earned your disrespect. So again. When was the last time you did something disrespectful to a person who creates child soldiers? Do you go on social media and show your disrespect? Do you call them out and call them names? Do you create post saying. Even in this post when asked that question you have not spoken of how much you disrespect them.

I'm assuming that your lack of respect for them would be so great that it would show. But it doesn't. This is the point I'm making. Just because you don't respect someone doesn't mean you are actively disrespecting them. It also doesn't mean that your disrespect for them shows. By your comments you don't actively go out of your way to show disrespect for people who create child soldiers.

Definition of Disrespect: to lack special regard or respect for : to have disrespect
This can exist without it showing.

Definition of Disrespect: to show or express disrespect or contempt for,
This is not necessary for having a lack of respect for someone. I can have a lack of respect for someone and not show it. I often do this in the workplace with people who I do not think highly of. I often do this outside of the workplace because I'm old skool "Don't start none and there won't be none."

My belief is that people don't need to know have a "real-time" emotional reading that I dislike them or don't respect them. Sometimes there are things more important than me telling someone how little I think of them. My guess is that you fall into this same category. My guess is that if you did know someone who creates child soldiers, you would still probably fall into this category.
Once again, I've never met anyone who has trafficked child soldiers. At least not that I'm aware of. How can I possibly disrespect someone who isn't even on this forum to read what we're saying?
 

Hot Lunch

2nd Black Belt
Joined
Apr 25, 2023
Messages
825
Reaction score
392
Let me also add that my disrespect towards someone who traffics child soldiers would mean very little to them. Both such a person and their enemy for whom they are trafficking children to fight possess far more clout than I ever could.
 

JowGaWolf

Sr. Grandmaster
MT Mentor
Joined
Aug 3, 2015
Messages
14,064
Reaction score
5,985
Once again, I've never met anyone who has trafficked child soldiers. At least not that I'm aware of. How can I possibly disrespect someone who isn't even on this forum to read what we're saying?
James Koang recognized by the UN for employing child soldiers in combat. His personal contact information may be difficult to find, but you can email the UN and let them know what you think about him and how much you disrespect him. Call him a couple of names if you like.

You probably won't. I know I wouldn't waste of energy, If James Koang doesn't care about children then I know he won't care about what I think of him. I could show my disrespect for him. It may come at a price depending on how vocal I am. But other than me saying that I don't respect him. It's not even the worht the effort to actively show my disrespect for him. Ask me the same question I ask you 2 months from now, I won't even know who you are talking about lol.

To be honest, if I came face to face with that guy in his own country. The last thing that I should show is my disrespect. That would be something I would want to keep on the inside until I can get out. lol.

Some people will hide their lack of respect for you until it's time to turn against you or to make you the fall guy. Scammers do that. They often start off with a respectful tone. and they will keep it as long as they can benefit from the deception.
 

Hot Lunch

2nd Black Belt
Joined
Apr 25, 2023
Messages
825
Reaction score
392
James Koang recognized by the UN for employing child soldiers in combat. His personal contact information may be difficult to find, but you can email the UN and let them know what you think about him and how much you disrespect him. Call him a couple of names if you like.

You probably won't. I know I wouldn't waste of energy, If James Koang doesn't care about children then I know he won't care about what I think of him. I could show my disrespect for him. It may come at a price depending on how vocal I am. But other than me saying that I don't respect him. It's not even the worht the effort to actively show my disrespect for him. Ask me the same question I ask you 2 months from now, I won't even know who you are talking about lol.

To be honest, if I came face to face with that guy in his own country. The last thing that I should show is my disrespect. That would be something I would want to keep on the inside until I can get out. lol.

Some people will hide their lack of respect for you until it's time to turn against you or to make you the fall guy. Scammers do that. They often start off with a respectful tone. and they will keep it as long as they can benefit from the deception.
Disrespect doesn't have to be a conscious act. Most disrespect that occurs is a passive lack of respect.
 

Instructor

Master of Arts
Supporting Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2012
Messages
1,644
Reaction score
557
Location
Knoxville, TN
I don't have much control over who I respect and who I don't. It's kind of an autonomic reaction. I generally try to offer it to people I don't know and they may or may not reciprocate. I once saluted an officer in uniform off base. I was uniform, he was in uniform, my salute was textbook. A gesture of respect, but also a regulation. He not only did not return my salute, he laughed at me. It took every ounce of my control not to beat him into a puddle of goo right then and there.
 

Dirty Dog

MT Senior Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Supporting Member
Joined
Sep 3, 2009
Messages
23,404
Reaction score
9,168
Location
Pueblo West, CO
It's like smiling. You don't need a reason to smile or show respect. You do need a reason not to.
 

Dirty Dog

MT Senior Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Supporting Member
Joined
Sep 3, 2009
Messages
23,404
Reaction score
9,168
Location
Pueblo West, CO
I don't have much control over who I respect and who I don't. It's kind of an autonomic reaction. I generally try to offer it to people I don't know and they may or may not reciprocate. I once saluted an officer in uniform off base. I was uniform, he was in uniform, my salute was textbook. A gesture of respect, but also a regulation. He not only did not return my salute, he laughed at me. It took every ounce of my control not to beat him into a puddle of goo right then and there.
Seems like maybe a bit of an overreaction...
 

Bujingodai

Black Belt
Joined
May 24, 2002
Messages
599
Reaction score
95
Location
Ontario, Canada
It's a real contentious topic.
At my work, I was speaking to a newer employee. Our VP was coming in, who had made it from a truck driver to VP in 19 years. I have had many dinners with him so I know what he knows, he's a genius. Work acumen is second to none.
I had said to this 20 something new employee, hey give this guy some respect as to what he has accomplished.
To his retort. I will give him respect when he shows it to me first.

I get it. Mutual respect should be shown. But is everyone so up in their own *** that respect for achievement and rank not be shown automatically?

Then told me when I was cleaning the washroom that he would never do that as it wasn't his job. I'm a senior manager in the company he was a counter person. Like no one feels their position is to be a part of the answer and solution not the problem. Not really a problem now he was canned a few weeks later for spitting on a customers car.

Just the mindset of respect.
May not be how it was being discussed here but it piqued me
 

Hot Lunch

2nd Black Belt
Joined
Apr 25, 2023
Messages
825
Reaction score
392
It's a real contentious topic.
At my work, I was speaking to a newer employee. Our VP was coming in, who had made it from a truck driver to VP in 19 years. I have had many dinners with him so I know what he knows, he's a genius. Work acumen is second to none.
I had said to this 20 something new employee, hey give this guy some respect as to what he has accomplished.
To his retort. I will give him respect when he shows it to me first.

I get it. Mutual respect should be shown. But is everyone so up in their own *** that respect for achievement and rank not be shown automatically?
That would be deference. But everyone is obligated to defer to those of higher rank in any organization that they belong to (unless they don't want to stay there much longer).
 

Kung Fu Wang

Sr. Grandmaster
MT Mentor
Joined
Sep 26, 2012
Messages
14,112
Reaction score
4,560
Location
Austin, Tx/Shell Beach, Ca
We may use the word "respect" in a wrong way in this discussion. In my culture, this word is used by an inferior to a superior. If we replace the word "respect - look up to" by "friendly - treat everybody equal", it will make more sense.

"Respect individual" used be to be the IBM slogan. Last time IBM still used this slogan was about 1995. Those words were never be heard in IBM since then. The IBM culture had a big change after that. Pension became a history and lay off started (there were 0 layoff in IBM before that). Instead, your manager walked to your office and talked to you, your manager would call you and asked you to go to his office.

As far as to treat "smile on the face" as "respect others". It can also be a culture thing. A foreigner came to US. Walked on the street. A girl smiled at him. He walked to that girl and asked for a date. We all know what might happen after that.

In grade school, my teacher taught me that I should respect the elders. Next day when I walked to school, I bowed to everybody who was older than me in the street. I then asked my teacher, "Are you sure respect the elders is a must? It takes me so much time to bow to everybody in the street."

Should we treat a stranger "equally and friendly"? Of course we should. Should we "respect" a stranger? Why?
 
Last edited:

Kung Fu Wang

Sr. Grandmaster
MT Mentor
Joined
Sep 26, 2012
Messages
14,112
Reaction score
4,560
Location
Austin, Tx/Shell Beach, Ca
It's like smiling. You don't need a reason to smile or show respect. You do need a reason not to.
A friend of mine always smile at a street corner. I asked him why he did that for, he said, "You will never know whom you are going to meet around the corner. You want that person to see your self-confidence" Later on he became the VP of a large company. I assume the "fake smile" truly have great value.
 

Kung Fu Wang

Sr. Grandmaster
MT Mentor
Joined
Sep 26, 2012
Messages
14,112
Reaction score
4,560
Location
Austin, Tx/Shell Beach, Ca
Because we shouldn't disrespect them.
Your comment reminds me someone said, "If you are not loyalty to me, you are my enemy."

Did someone used to say that the world is not just black and white?

1. respect.
2. don't care.
3. disrespect.

To treat a stranger in the street, what's wrong to have attitude of "don't care"?

A: Do you love me?
B: I love you. I also love all women on earth.

A: Do you respect me as your MA teacher?
B: I respect you. I also respect all MA teachers on earth.

Not sure how A would respond to B's answer.

When you use "love" and "respect" all over the place, it may not be proper after all.

A: Do you love (respect) me?
B: You and I just met 10 minutes ago. We need more time to develop that.
 
Last edited:

Hot Lunch

2nd Black Belt
Joined
Apr 25, 2023
Messages
825
Reaction score
392
Is this a binary situation. What if we are neutral? Neither respecting or disrespecting.
You're walking through a door. There's a stranger behind you with both hands full.

If you hold the door open for them, is that respect?

If you allow the door to close right behind you, is that disrespect?

If the answer to both of those is "yes," then I'm trying to find what "neutral" is.
 

Kung Fu Wang

Sr. Grandmaster
MT Mentor
Joined
Sep 26, 2012
Messages
14,112
Reaction score
4,560
Location
Austin, Tx/Shell Beach, Ca
Neither respecting or disrespecting.
That should be the norm.

To me, the word "respect" has more value than "treat equal and friendly". The usage of "respect" should not be abused. If you (general YOU) respect everybody, which word will you use to someone that you truly respect from the bottom of your heart?
 
Top