I let my temper get the best of me..

[Sylo]

Hmm.. after all these years of martial arts training I thought I'd learned to control my temper.

I'm not going to go into alot of detail, but I will just say that I'm not sure what came over me.

Got into an argument over something petty, and wound up with my fist through the glass in my backdoor.

I was not aiming for anyone, and actually thought I was hitting the door.. but apparently there was glass there lol.

Oddly enough, I didn't cut my hand. But, I'm not sure where my training failed me in controlling my temper..

 

[CDKJudoka]

Hmm.. after all these years of martial arts training I thought I'd learned to control my temper.

I'm not going to go into alot of detail, but I will just say that I'm not sure what came over me.

Got into an argument over something petty, and wound up with my fist through the glass in my backdoor.

I was not aiming for anyone, and actually thought I was hitting the door.. but apparently there was glass there lol.

Oddly enough, I didn't cut my hand. But, I'm not sure where my training failed me in controlling my temper..

Did Mr. Miyagi at least duck when you punched? ;-)

It happens to the best of us. I started TKD to control my anger issues. It worked great till I got disqualified from a local point tourney for breaking my opponents leg, in a fit of anger. My sabumnim showed me that my anger is NOT a good weapon to use, by using me as a heavy bag for about 20 mins.

 

[Drac]

Don't sweat it...It happends to ALL of us at one time...At least ya hit the door and not a person...Thank God for safety glass...

 

[bluekey88]

been there....testosterone's a pain at times eh? Best is to figure what you didn't do...then get back to basics as far as anger management goes. Things'll get back on track.

Peace,
Erik

 

[Carol]

Maybe it was just a sign to remind you to keep training and never give up, ever.

 

[Nolerama]

Yoga? Milk and cookies? Those calm me down...

I used to have a terrible, terrible temper. After one too many incidents of anger-fueled stupidity, I decided I needed a change, so I went to an anger management course, started doing more physical activity, changed my diet (I swear, preservatives make us angry sheep), etc.

It looks like it's difficult to change, but it's really not. Especially when you can laugh about it later.

 

[ynnad]

Not trying to be disrespectful, but you did post this on an open forum. I must disagree with most people so far. This actually doesn't happen to ALL of us. I would take a serious look at what really caused the response. It wasn't the issue, but a deeper interest. Punching glass is not healthy. Is there a spouse or children involved? Remember, they are learning how to respond to life by watching you. Good luck.

Danny

 

[Xue Sheng]

Replace (pay for) the widow

Think about what happened

And don't do it again

Anger

 

[stickarts]

Because no one is perfect. All you can do is learn from it and move on.

 

[Twin Fist]

anyone that claims they never lose thier temper?

thier lying

dont sweat it, it happens, the only thing you can do is try to make sure it dont happen easily

 

[CDKJudoka]

(I swear, preservatives make us angry sheep),

Maybe it is being Scottish that make me feel this way, but nothing scares me more than an angry sheep!

 

[dancingalone]

Maybe it is being Scottish that make me feel this way, but nothing scares me more than an angry sheep!

Aggies from the state of Texas feel the same way, albeit for good reason. I kid, I kid. :angel:

 

[chrispillertkd]

Tomorrow is another day.

Pay for the window. Apologize to whomever you need to (even if they were in the wrong apologize for losing your cool). And read this:

http://www.koryu.com/library/dlowry9.html

Pax,

Chris

 

[granfire]

been there....testosterone's a pain at times eh? Best is to figure what you didn't do...then get back to basics as far as anger management goes. Things'll get back on track.

Peace,
Erik

HAHAHAHA, estrogen can be as bad.

Keep working on it. And I can only second the idea of double checking what you eat, some of that stuff we get these days is just plain bad for us.

And I am assuming that it was a domestic situation...aside from fixing the actual damage, a bit of kissing up in order?

 

[DMcHenry]

The sheep around Aggieland aren't angry, just nervous

I used to have a very bad temper, I think training has help that quite a bit. I think I only started to lose it maybe twice in over 30 years and wanted to break something.

Luckily, most people don't push me to that limit nor do I try to allow myself to be put in those situations.

Be careful,
Mac

 

[Thesemindz]

You made a mistake. You know that. Learn from it. You didn't hit a person. That's a start.

I had a roommate years ago who we all grew to intensely dislike over time. It seemed like the perfect roommate relationship on paper, we all had the same interests in MA, anime, music, everything. Should have been a match made in heaven. It was not.

One night several of us were sparring at the house and our roommate wanted to join in. He did a different art, with different rules, but he begged and we relented. Twice he almost knocked me out with blind spinning backnuckles that I failed to recognize. He kept arguing over points, and I kept letting it slide, but my temper was growing.

Finally I lost control of it. There are two different versions of what happened next. To this day, I remember dancing around him, peppering him with light shots to embaress him. Everyone else who was there remembers me beating him up. Suddenly, he called a stop to the match because, in his words, I was taking it to personally.

I was instantly ashamed. Deeply. Regardless of what had happened, he was right. I was taking it personally. I did want it to be personal. And the guy I hated, who we all hated, who wasn't fit to lick my boots, was the one to call me on it. I have only rarely been more disgusted with myself, and now several years later, I still regret losing control.

But I also learned from it. I learned that I have to keep a much tighter rein on my anger. I learned that I am capable of bullying someone with my abilities when I am out of contorl. I learned that I am not nearly as enlightened as I would sometimes like to believe.

I also learned that I was faster, lighter, and more accurate when in a rage. Unfortunately, I was irrational and reacting more than acting. I learned that if I could harness that energy and exploit the potential it offered, I could increase my capacity for violence greatly. I also learned how to recognize and defend against blind spinning backnuckles, and that just because it was "against the rules" didn't mean it couldn't happen in a fight, even as controlled a fight as sparring.

There are lessons in such things. Some are hard to bear. Others can be quite illuminating. All are steps in your journey. Perhaps not everyone loses their temper. But I did, and I have, and I try to learn from it.

Fix the window. Apologize for what you did. But most importantly, spend some time alone, reflecting on what caused you to react that way. Immerse yourself in the memory of it, so that you can take away from it as much as possible.

In that way, you become worthy of the experience.


-Rob

 

[Sukerkin]

Everyone deals with their anger in different ways and everyone has a different 'structure' to what promotes and fans their rage. There are certain commonalities that all of us will recognise about anger but it is important to recognise that we are all as much individuals in our 'flaws' as we are our 'virtues'.

In my case, for example, I was born with what you might term a very 'direct' method of inter-personal negotiations i.e. disagreements usually ended in a fight. That took a lot of years for my dad to knock out of me but by the time I reached secondary school age, he'd succeeded. He succeeded so well that I have ever since been known for my calm, unrufflable demeanour (up until my bike accident at any rate).

The anger was still there tho', I just had a heavy chain holding back the release of that anger. Even today it is easy to tell if I have been enraged in an argument - I simply shut up and avert my gaze from the person in question so that they don't see the, to me, shameful emotion in my eyes. If my hands are shaking slighty then I've really lost my temper, I just haven't let it out.

Even post-bike-accident, I still have that part of my anger in my control but sadly these days there is sometimes something of a verbal outburst before I manage to screw the lid on tight enough .

Inanimate objects, I'm ashamed to say, sometimes do not fare so well. I still generally have enough sense not to 'lay about' something fragile when it has fired my ire but there have been a couple of occasions which are both embarassing and retrospectively humerous to recall . Fortunately none of my demeaning tantrums have had witnesses to either themselves or their aftermath.

Control of your temper is a very positive attribute and one that is never to be undervalued but it is sadly the case that nearly all of us will lose our temper publicly at one time or another. As others have posted above, what matters then is how you handle the aftermath of the event and how you map out what you can do to avoid the same 'trigger' in the future.

 

[jks9199]

Not trying to be disrespectful, but you did post this on an open forum. I must disagree with most people so far. This actually doesn't happen to ALL of us. I would take a serious look at what really caused the response. It wasn't the issue, but a deeper interest. Punching glass is not healthy. Is there a spouse or children involved? Remember, they are learning how to respond to life by watching you. Good luck.

Danny

There's a valid point here. Yes, we all lose our tempers occasionally... but when it moves to an actual act of violence, even just smashing a window, you need to look hard at yourself and decide why and what you can do about it.

 

[jim777]

I think it takes a lot to admit you snapped, and not blame it on something or someone else, so good for you. I don't really have that sort of personality where I lose my temper too much, but I do have a wavemaster in my basement. I think it was 80 bucks? It's great for punching and kicking and practicing on away from the dojang. I see lots of heavy bags on Craigslist as well, just a thought. It might be worth grabbing one for yourself to work out on, so you don't end up getting to a point where you're going to 'blow', if that's an issue (I don't know, I suppose it is for some people).

 

[Andy Moynihan]

Lost it a little bit nyself late winter/ early spring last year:

http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=60922

Vented.

Learned from it.

Ended up teaching me quite a few things about myself( learned to be more forgiving around kids and learned that prolonged periods of not working out wind me too tight)..

Have been in identical situations since then, but never repeated that day.

Sometimes we all need lessons.