I know this is uncool for me to say but...

Tames D

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I quit drinking.

I have 41 months sobriety (yeah I still count the months,lol). Having made this unpopular statement, I can tell you that I'm very fearful that I won't be able to make it 42 months. I don't go to AA because I found the meetings to be a little depressing and all the talk about the good ole drinking days just makes me want to drink. Maybe I didn't give it a fair trial, as I only went to 2 meetings. So far my strength has come from my non drinking friends and training partners and family. God knows my family wants me to succeed at this.

So I've got an upcoming trip to Vegas and I'll be hanging with alot of drinkers. To me Vegas has always been about drinking. My last trip to Vegas (a little over a year ago) I came close. While at the JET nightclub someone handed me a glass of wine and I went so far as to put the glass to my lips before a friend of mine (a drinking friend no less) asked me what the hell I'm doing.

Anyways, I'm not expecting any magical answers here, I think I just needed to say some things for my benefit. Sometimes we have to fight the battle alone if you know what I mean.
 

Carol

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I can't say that I quit drinking entirely but I've given it up for months at a time. Not the same number of months that you have... ;)

What originally did it for me was all the student creeds my old school had us say in class... "I will not do anything to harm my mental growth or my physical health". I reached a point where I felt like I was being a bit disingenuous. So, I got away from the habit.

I can't say that I do not drink, but I don't drink a lot, and I don't really miss it. I found that I'm way more productive when I don't drink. I don't miss the time lost in a haze...LOL. I also don't miss the smells, or "pissing away your money" as a friend put it, and I don't miss the gatherings where booze is the center of attention. I mean that's...boring.

A tip I learned awhile back is something that *may* help you. When I was a sales engineer, I was around sales people a lot. And there are a lot of salespeople that DRINK. I mentioned to a friend that I often found the after-hours environment to be a bit much, she suggested ordering grapefruit juice, on the rocks. Its "different" enough to look like you are drinking a cocktail, and it lends itself to sipping.
 

Nolerama

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All I can say is that you should stay strong. Keep up your accomplishment at staying sober for so long. That's a great thing for you.

Would it be possible to find a training group in Vegas that would occupy your time there? Or maybe find a non-drinking group that would be able to show you around?

Would it be possible to find a AA group that might be more proactive than the one you visited? They're out there, and are their own support communities. They're very strong and perform a ton of community service. Have you thought about starting your own?

My heart goes out to you. Stay strong.
 

exile

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QGwill there be someone there who doesn't drink? Whom you're sure, or pretty sure, is going? Because it would be 110% appropriate to ask them to do you a favor and act as your 'backup' conscience here. Surely not everyone you'll be with there will be a consumer of alcohol, eh? Whoever isn't... they can do you a good turn, at little or no inconvenience to themselves, by keeping one eye on you, with a license to issue a gentle reminder in case they see you heading down Temptation Road, no?
 

grydth

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Some years back, I found myself the single parent of two daughters aged 4 and 7. I quit drinking completely then, realizing that it was now just me responsible for them. I couldn't afford to be drunk if something came up that endangered the kids.

Consider what you mean to your family.

Things have since changed, to include a wonderful 2d marriage. But I haven't gone back to drinking. I don't need it, and you don't either.
 

Xue Sheng

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I truly wish I could say something that would help but all I have is what is more important to you than drinking?

You have the strength, that I know, you do San Soo.

Your Kung Fu Brother
XS
 

Gordon Nore

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Anyways, I'm not expecting any magical answers here, I think I just needed to say some things for my benefit. Sometimes we have to fight the battle alone if you know what I mean.

For 42 months you've done it one day at a time, I presume. So that's your job on the Vegas trip -- one day at a time. If you're uncomfortable being around your friends while they're drinking, you have the right to absent yourself.

I don't believe that people in recovery should have to prove or test themselves by placing themselves in front of a buffet of temptation -- that's pretty much Vegas in a nutshell -- everything you can be addicted to is right there. As the rehab tech said recently on Sober House the TV show, "Hang around the barber shop and you're gonna get a haircut."
 

jks9199

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Fantastic achievement!

AA is not for everyone -- but there are other support groups out there. And nothing says you can't wander into an AA meeting in Vegas if you need some reinforcement, even if you don't plan on sticking around.

And, y'know... a glass of ice water can be served in a rocks glass... and is indistinguishable from a vodka on the rocks unless you're drinking it. Just in case you're in one of those situations where you have to have a glass in your hand...
 
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Tames D

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I can't say that I quit drinking entirely but I've given it up for months at a time. Not the same number of months that you have... ;)

What originally did it for me was all the student creeds my old school had us say in class... "I will not do anything to harm my mental growth or my physical health". I reached a point where I felt like I was being a bit disingenuous. So, I got away from the habit.

I can't say that I do not drink, but I don't drink a lot, and I don't really miss it. I found that I'm way more productive when I don't drink. I don't miss the time lost in a haze...LOL. I also don't miss the smells, or "pissing away your money" as a friend put it, and I don't miss the gatherings where booze is the center of attention. I mean that's...boring.

A tip I learned awhile back is something that *may* help you. When I was a sales engineer, I was around sales people a lot. And there are a lot of salespeople that DRINK. I mentioned to a friend that I often found the after-hours environment to be a bit much, she suggested ordering grapefruit juice, on the rocks. Its "different" enough to look like you are drinking a cocktail, and it lends itself to sipping.

Thanks Carol. Interesting info in your PM. I'll check it out. I'll send you a PM when I have more time.
 
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Tames D

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All I can say is that you should stay strong. Keep up your accomplishment at staying sober for so long. That's a great thing for you.

Would it be possible to find a training group in Vegas that would occupy your time there? Or maybe find a non-drinking group that would be able to show you around?

Would it be possible to find a AA group that might be more proactive than the one you visited? They're out there, and are their own support communities. They're very strong and perform a ton of community service. Have you thought about starting your own?

My heart goes out to you. Stay strong.

Actually, I will have some good people with me that have always had my back. It's really me that I have to worry about
icon11.gif
.
 
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Tames D

Tames D

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QGwill there be someone there who doesn't drink? Whom you're sure, or pretty sure, is going? Because it would be 110% appropriate to ask them to do you a favor and act as your 'backup' conscience here. Surely not everyone you'll be with there will be a consumer of alcohol, eh? Whoever isn't... they can do you a good turn, at little or no inconvenience to themselves, by keeping one eye on you, with a license to issue a gentle reminder in case they see you heading down Temptation Road, no?

Thanks Exile. I will have some good "backup" in place. Odds should be in my favor. I hope. I think.
icon10.gif
 
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Tames D

Tames D

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Some years back, I found myself the single parent of two daughters aged 4 and 7. I quit drinking completely then, realizing that it was now just me responsible for them. I couldn't afford to be drunk if something came up that endangered the kids.

Consider what you mean to your family.

Things have since changed, to include a wonderful 2d marriage. But I haven't gone back to drinking. I don't need it, and you don't either.

Yeah it's all about the family. My biggest concern when drinking was driving. I always loved driving my car and motorcycle after drinking. Driving fast. Riding the bike hard (dirt bike). Luckily I never had an incident or accident. I like to think it was skill but I know it was luck. Gotta think about the kids.
 
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Tames D

Tames D

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I truly wish I could say something that would help but all I have is what is more important to you than drinking?

You have the strength, that I know, you do San Soo.

Your Kung Fu Brother
XS

You said plenty in your PM brother. Thanks. I'll send you a PM when I have more time.
 
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Tames D

Tames D

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For 42 months you've done it one day at a time, I presume. So that's your job on the Vegas trip -- one day at a time. If you're uncomfortable being around your friends while they're drinking, you have the right to absent yourself.

I don't believe that people in recovery should have to prove or test themselves by placing themselves in front of a buffet of temptation -- that's pretty much Vegas in a nutshell -- everything you can be addicted to is right there. As the rehab tech said recently on Sober House the TV show, "Hang around the barber shop and you're gonna get a haircut."[/quote]

I love that. And so true.
 
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Tames D

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Fantastic achievement!

AA is not for everyone -- but there are other support groups out there. And nothing says you can't wander into an AA meeting in Vegas if you need some reinforcement, even if you don't plan on sticking around.

And, y'know... a glass of ice water can be served in a rocks glass... and is indistinguishable from a vodka on the rocks unless you're drinking it. Just in case you're in one of those situations where you have to have a glass in your hand...

Thank you jks.
 

mook jong man

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Good on ya mate , I gave up drinking and smoking . The reason I gave up drinking is because everytime I got drunk if there was some one there smoking I would be straight into the smokes again . If your there with the other people and you have even one drink it will be all down hill from there believe me .

If you start to get tempted , just before you do it , think to yourself how ashamed of yourself you are going to be tomorrow , the little shindig your at will be over in a couple of hours .

But that shame and guilt will plague you for days , thats what has helped me a couple of times when I was about to slip .
 

Makalakumu

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I have also given up alcohol for an extended period of time. I'm not sure if I'll ever change my mind, but I am pleased with the results so far. I definitely am more "with it" in my world. I'm a better man, a better father, a better teacher, and I am more committed to my priorities.

For me, alcohol was becoming a distraction that was standing in the way of the serious personal development that I set out to do when I moved. So far, when I feel like going out with the guys for a beer or sitting at home and indulging, I've been successful with reminding myself with the reasons why I stopped in the first place and that has helped.

What do I gain? What do I lose? And the clincher, How much is your Word worth to yourself?

Stick it through. I've got your back and am sending positive thoughts your way.

Aloha

John
 

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Many men do not enjoy going to A.A. Taking a different approach, What about writing a list of places where you can go that are non-drinking establishments ?

I am sure that list will grow. If you don't like to write down a list then make a mental list of places you see that you would like to have peace for yourself because you need to take care of yourself first then think of good places that you can take your family along for fun events.
 

kaizasosei

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Can't completely relate to drinking booze because it makes me feel so rotton. I mean i sortof like the taste of say a whiskey sour or even enjoy spirits-drank almost a whole bottle of tequila last year out of the blue. I can drink something like 10 beers rather easily, but the weird thing is i really don't like the taste....i have to force myself to get it down and sometimes it almost makes me gag. When i was a kid my dad used to say that i would grow to like the taste as i get older, but strangely, it never really happened. God knows i tried and got myself drunk plenty as a youngster sometimes even taking up to two sleeping pills during a hardcore whiskey binge....barely made it home sometimes and i felt like **** everytime. i mean, drinking is not for me and thus, i don't really drink at all except socially or when the time comes again when i get tricked by the delicious looking bottles into giving it another go. Like the last tequila binge....again i felt like i was put into one of those astronaut machines cyclotron thingys. My conciousness is not really different either-aside from being a bit goofy, i keep saying to myself out loud 'never again' , 'why?'
but damn those bottles looked so tasty!!

Smoking pot has been my drug for some time. But i have quit a while ago. Although i had a few timeouts since then, i am basically clean right now. So if alchohol is for someone what weed is for me then i can understand drinking. Only thing is that it is a fact that all substances are not healthy especially when taken excessively.
Right now, i would really like to keep up my clean lifestyle, but i would like to smoke every now and then-within reason...no big spending-something like having a tiny amount and making it last a long time. Problem i have is with my girl, it's either all or nothing....all is quite extreme and nothing is kindof strict as i see it- I mean why can't we be grown up and be able to have the frickin willpower to regulate....

tough case i know, because many addicts of whatever substance choose to never have any contact with their problem substance. I can understand the precaution and respect the willpower, but isn't that like a murderer saying he doesn't want to see any people because he can't help but kill... not really healing in my book.

Why can't we just know when enough is enough and regulate ourselves. Try not drinking or smoking at all for a while and see how it is...life is inebriating or intoxicating enough as it is. family, friends,Movies, conversations, sports, arts, ********...all that stuff is natural and normal and it gets you there-that is for sure.

So as an adult, why not drink when it's good to drink, smoke when one must, but first and formost aim to keep the body pure enough to be healthy. Healthy enough to live long, healthy enough to take care of ones loved ones and show them ones real face...hell, we owe it to them.
Addiction is a sign that there is a saddness in the person. I know it. It is not easy even admitting it and admitting it is not good without trust but so be it. But still, saddness is not an excuse to ruin oneself. One must take care to keep healthy and treasure the body that is the house of our soul.
If someone in a difficult position achieves success, it is so much greater than someone that has it easy to begin with. Yiie!

It is especially sad and somewhat wrong when a martial artist is an addict to drugs. That is not the right way. The body is the temple so we must cherish it and not let it go derelict.
I have a couple of cool definitions for love....one is and i'll write it in japanese romaji first: ai to iu no ha(wa) aite no ichiban takai kanohsei wo midasu koto. that means love is to see out the highest(greatest) possibilty in the partner(other)...but ultimately as my friend Jarrod has already stated here on mt, one must love oneself. ! . One must aim for the highest, see the precious and only compare oneself to the best.

also, Ai to iu no ha aite wo jiyu ni shiteageru koto...love is to set ones partner free. So by loving oneself, one can also set oneself free from all evil bonds.


Good luck to you...I hope you can at least come to the realization that i have made. Would be great to live the life of a immaculate warrior monk on some mystical mountain whos body is in better shape than a dogs and heart as pure as a child and mind as clever as an immortal serpent-but i guess we're human so we cannot always be perfect.

When i was a kid i could not pronounce the letter L-and i'd always tell my grandad- breibe range, breibe range!(bleibe lange) Which means: stay long.
same to goes to you, and most everyone for that matter. One must take care of oneself and put ones training above all else. Always be getting better at at least certain fields...a true martial artist can do without sex, without intoxication, without worldly pleasures..but must take good care of himself/herself with the best judgement available.

j
 
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