When a student leaves your school...

[geezer]

Whether you are an instructor or just a dedicated student at a school, what is the general attitude when a student decides to leave and study another martial art? I got to thinking about this reading Carol's thread on having to get permission to visit other schools. Well in the organization I used to belong to many years ago, we were discouraged from visiting other schools. And, if a student left our organization for another, they were basically seen as an outcast and shunned.

Now that I'm with a different organization and only teaching a few students non commercially, all that has changed. If a student leaves to follow their own path, they do so with my blessing and they are always welcome to come back to visit and share some of what they've learned. My old Chinese Sifu would have called my attitude foolish, pointing out that I'll never get rich this way. True. But helping a student along their personal path and making lifelong friends is a kind of wealth in itself. Any thoughts?

 

[Flying Crane]

Whether you are an instructor or just a dedicated student at a school, what is the general attitude when a student decides to leave and study another martial art? I got to thinking about this reading Carol's thread on having to get permission to visit other schools. Well in the organization I used to belong to many years ago, we were discouraged from visiting other schools. And, if a student left our organization for another, they were basically seen as an outcast and shunned.

Now that I'm with a different organization and only teaching a few students non commercially, all that has changed. If a student leaves to follow their own path, they do so with my blessing and they are always welcome to come back to visit and share some of what they've learned. My old Chinese Sifu would have called my attitude foolish, pointing out that I'll never get rich this way. True. But helping a student along their personal path and making lifelong friends is a kind of wealth in itself. Any thoughts?

trying to use the martial arts as a route to riches is a big part of why so much instruction out there is so crappy. Ruins it every time.

 

[shesulsa]

If a student is going to leave, there is little you can do to stop them. Either they leave mentally, physically or both. I strongly believe one should train in what is right for them. If what I have isn't right for someone, I'm not going to keep them and force-feed them things they don't want/need or can't make work.

Life is too short.

 

[Blindside]

I figure that everyone has their own martial path and they need to find the one that fits them. Several of my students have left other systems to come study with me, so I figure that if any of my students want to go on to something else, well, more power to them. Which isn't to say I won't be a bit disappointed that I have lost a good student, but I am certainly not going to try to cause some sort of bias against them. I largely don't do politics of any sort and martial arts politics are about the stupidest waste of time I can think of.

 

[Xue Sheng]

A student leaves you way goodbye they return you say hello..... they have to do whatever they feel is best for them and there is no reason to shun anyone for that

 

[terryl965]

As they walk out the door it is enjoy your training if you ever feel like coming back you are always welcome. When they come back it is hello and would you mind showing me some of the highlights of what you learned.

 

[rickster]

When a student leaves, fight them. If they loose, they are shown they need to learn more.

Nah. Just kidding



People are more depend upon their own individuality

They may follow a religion, but sometmes this is to a degree.

A lot of the world, people do not desore to sta affixed to something that will not have them be flexible.

This is like forcing people to drink only coffee, but not have the option of tea

 

[oftheherd1]

I haven't taught for a long time, and when I did, it was just a select few. Even so I had a couple of students leave.

I tried to figure our why from other students. I always examined myself to ensure I didn't feel I had done anything wrong. I didn't think I had and never felt any ill feeling towards them. If they thought there was instruction that fit them better elsewhere, they would have been foolish not to have gone there. I would have done the same in their shoes I suppose. Except that I couldn't have found anyone better than my GM. But it they could, good for them.

 

[harlan]

Stinks when you like them, and privately I consider it a blessing when I don't. :O

So far, I've only 'taught' a few college students, and leaving was always going to happen anyway, so no issues there.

When it comes to training higher up in the system, I admit to moping a bit when the good ones, the upper BB's, leave. The dojo feels poorer when advanced students move on/away.

 

[sfs982000]

I'm not an instructor, but if I was if a student left the only thing I would ask them before they left is was/is there anything that could've kept them there. If it was something within the curriculum it might be a good time to change things. If it's more of a "not my cup of tea" thing then I would wish them well in their studies and leave the door open for them to come back down the road. I've personally visited other schools when I go TDY and I've picked up great tips from everyone. I don't tell my instructor and he doesn't ask, but if he did come out and ask me I wouldn't deny it.

 

[Steve]

There are a million different legitimate reasons for a student to leave a school. I would say, unless you've asked the student to leave for some reason or another, the most important thing to do is to keep the lines of communication open and avoid burning any bridges. Life is long and the martial arts community is relatively small. While a student might leave now, he may come back in 5 years or 10. You just never know.

For me, more than anything else, life is about relationships, and what we do is secondary to the people with whom we associate and the relationships we build with them.

 

[Nomad]

Whether you are an instructor or just a dedicated student at a school, what is the general attitude when a student decides to leave and study another martial art? I got to thinking about this reading Carol's thread on having to get permission to visit other schools. Well in the organization I used to belong to many years ago, we were discouraged from visiting other schools. And, if a student left our organization for another, they were basically seen as an outcast and shunned.

I've seen and to some extent participated in this "approach" in the past, and have had it applied to me by members of my former school, including some who I thought were good friends.

On one level, it's a very petty way to treat others; on another level, it's a very insidious way of using their "betrayal" to bolster your own egos and sense of self-worth... it can bind the group tighter, but I feel does so in a very unhealthy way and is one of my huge warning signs of cult-like behavior going forward with my martial path.

 

[Buka]

When you're coming up through the ranks, you'll have a favorite dojo mate that you partner up with all the time. They will be as crazy about the Martial Arts as you are, and you'll push each other every chance you get. If they leave for another school it can throw you for a loop, especially if you didn't see it coming. Things change as you're around for a bit, you know a bigger world of the Arts and you know more about people. You'll still miss your sparring partner, but you hug him goodbye and wish him well.

As an instructor, you do everything you can to help a student of the Martial Arts. That's your job. That includes when they first come, while they are there, and if they decide to go. There's an old saying in the Arts, "Everyday you train with your instructor, is one day closer to when you will never train with him again." That goes both ways.

 

[Gentle Fist]

Tell them they're welcome back anytime...

 

[Kong Soo Do]

trying to use the martial arts as a route to riches is a big part of why so much instruction out there is so crappy. Ruins it every time.

+1!!!!!

 

[Cougar]

Never really tried to make a lot of money with teaching martial arts. Goal has always been development. If a student had to leave for whatever reason, they have been told they were welcome back at any time, whether to visit or continue training. There are personality conflicts at times and some folks just cannot be pleased or get into financial difficulty. whatever the reason, unless the departure is acrimonius, make sure they know they are welcome back.

 

[Instructor]

I primarily teach military people who are always coming and going. I tell them that I enjoyed training with them and if they ever want to come by we will always have a place for them. Yep I pretty much send them on with my blessings. Some find tutelage with another teacher and some stay on with me through the website. I try to keep the friendship and not burn any bridges, it has paid off with a few folks.

 

[malteaser14]

I started MA, did my 1st belt and left - I actually moved away, came home again, got married and had kids. 6years later I walked back into my old MA class and was made extremly welcome. It's not my closest MA centre to me... In fact there's 4 other groups within 6miles of my home... But I wouldnt dream of going anywhere else! I can't pin point one particular reason that keeps me there.... But I can't think of any negatives that would make me leave either! I have so much respect trust and loyalty for my Master and instructors that if I was to cross train I would be straight with them and tell them before I went, whether it affected my current training or not.

 

[mxav]

The old school approach at the beginning of your post only highlights a teacher's insecurities.

 

[ATC]

...helping a student along their personal path and making lifelong friends is a kind of wealth in itself...

110% agree!!!