Well here we go again

[terryl965]

Well I am writing this because I need to vent for a few moments and maybe longer: Why is it people believe you know nothing about anything and find other so called expert to help them with their training. I mean I have been in the arts for over forty years and I believe I have alot of young promising teenager or older childern. They have alway placed in every tournament either in the local. state, National or even International events. Sure my oldest has had a rough two years losing great matches by a point or two but he has always been in every one until the end. Master Tubbs has been helping with his mental game in the closing seconds so all is good, this is my point I have trained him since he was three and have taken him as far as I can at this point, he is a teenager with very high hopes and I mean very high hopes. I am being told that if I need someone to instruct my son than I am a failure because I cannot finish the job, well guess what I am not it is just being dad, instructor and coach and personal training and nutriant person for him we are butting heads and he needs a different person to make him see the light and Master Tubbs is that guy right now. He is going back and reshaping everything I have been telling him over the last twelve years in this sport, his outlook is great and he is finally getting how to close against other top teer fighters.

I wish people would understand that having another person view about certain things can sure help in these stituation at this point of the game for him, he is still young only 16 and has his whole life a head of him but he needed this for him and it is not a reflection onme or how I instruct my players. I am also waiting for next year when I have four players moving into the 14-17 year old division early because they are absolutely ready for the jump.

Sorry for the rant but some people just do not get it.

 

[dancingalone]

Not sure why some think it is a personal failure for you, Terry. Sometimes people do need to hear things from someone else, someone outside the family. They say familiarity breed contempt, and I could see a teenager tuning out Dad to some degree even if he knows exactly what the kid needs to do to succeed.

It's fantastic that you recognize this and you've managed to put aside your pride to find help for your son.

 

[terryl965]

dancingalone I pride myself to fully understand that their are more qualified people than I. I also understand the pressure a son has going though this myself with my father and as I got older I understood why he put me with different people to train with, as with him as am I. I have taken the time to learn from some of what I consider some of the top people in the sport of TKD, Poos, Tubbs, Giambi, Lopez, Kunkle, Limas, and alot of other maybe to many to name but forever will be grateful for all their help.

I know Zachary has always been blessed with so many people wanting to help him since he was 7-8, just because he loves the ideal of sparring and not affraid to get hurt and try to improve he has that fighter mentallity I guess. I have two other sons that are finally taken the sportside serious and want to make teams next year so it has really become a family endevour.

 

[ATC]

A good teacher is one that knows when he or she has taken one as far as they can. Master Tubbs is on the inside of things and knows some things the best teacher won't for the sport.

Take football (American) example. Even the head coach has his coordinators for offense and defense. Yes he is the head coach but he does not do the teaching. That is left up to the assistant coaches.

Look at Master Tubbs as your assistant. You both have to work together for your son and others to become the best that they can be. Master Tubbs does not do it alone either. He has his assistants as well. Just as each NFL assistant has his assistants.

If someone can't understand these types of things then "Oh Well" I say. We all have our limitations and we all need to know what they are and when to use others to overcome those limitations.

Keep your head up and keep doing what you do.

 

[granfire]

Nothing more to add.

Just because our kids happen to be interested (and good) in what we teach does not mean that we can (or should) take them all the way.

Anybody telling you different has not taught enough, or had kids growing up.

 

[Gorilla]

You could not have picked a better instructor!!!

Master Tubbs is one of the best in the country!!!

At some point it is counter productive for a Dad to coach his son!!!! Not all cases but most cases!!!

Who cares what other people think!!! Most of the time they are wrong!!!

Always do what you know to be right!!

I think you will see a big jump in performance out of Zach!!!

Can't wait to see him fight!!!

Great Job Terry!!!!! And Good luck!!!

 

[StudentCarl]

It sounds like you need a little support for doing what good parents and coaches do: find a way to move forward. Your son is lucky to have you, and those who coach him will surely appreciate your wisdom and perspective. I see too many parent coaches trying to force situations to work where the parent tries to do it all--it ends poorly.

Kudos for finding a good path, and good luck to your son.

 

[jks9199]

Lots of times the best coach for someone isn't a parent. In fact, I'm pretty confident that most of the cases of successful kids coached by parents are also screwed up on one side or another of the relationship. It can be hard to be coach and parent because the coach's job is to push the athlete beyond their comfort -- while the parent wants to keep the child safe & happy...

It's no failure, and there's nothing wrong with recognizing your own limits -- even if they're specific to one athlete. In fact, that's even true if the athlete ISN'T your kid!

 

[Fing Fang Foom]

I have no idea who Master Tubbs is, or anyother celebrated instructors... but the bottom line to your thinking is a solid one.

One has to have different points of views (ie different instructors) in any sports if they want to grow and get better.

You have your son on the right path my friend

 

[sadantkd]

Everybody who commented is right in saying you're doing the right thing. I want to add my personal congratulations for being man enough to let your son work with somebody else because that's what you both believe is best for him at this point. Unfortunately, when I was competing, I had a greedy, insecure Master who wouldn't allow his star pupil to go somewhere else because he was afraid it would make him look bad. In later years, I also realized that a lot of what he was telling me was b.s. and I'm sure he figured if he kept me under his thumb, I'd never figure him out.

Sorry, I guess I followed up your "rant" with one of my own. But seriously, you're doing the right thing for your son.

 

[terryl965]

Everybody who commented is right in saying you're doing the right thing. I want to add my personal congratulations for being man enough to let your son work with somebody else because that's what you both believe is best for him at this point. Unfortunately, when I was competing, I had a greedy, insecure Master who wouldn't allow his star pupil to go somewhere else because he was afraid it would make him look bad. In later years, I also realized that a lot of what he was telling me was b.s. and I'm sure he figured if he kept me under his thumb, I'd never figure him out.

Sorry, I guess I followed up your "rant" with one of my own. But seriously, you're doing the right thing for your son.

rant awat it is a great feeling to let go the things that bothers us.

 

[tshadowchaser]

As a parent, coach, etc. we see things one way and try to pass that knoledge along. Someone else mmay say the same exact thing and our children will hear them when they did not hear us. Also the other person may see things just a lidderent which may benifit our children.

If you, your wife and your son feel you did the correct thing then most likely you did. Hope this all turns out for the best for Zachary.

As for those that think you did something wrong. HHMM not sure I can say what I want hear without being censored. Just let them revolve in their own world and live your as you feel is correct

 

[terryl965]

As a parent, coach, etc. we see things one way and try to pass that knoledge along. Someone else mmay say the same exact thing and our children will hear them when they did not hear us. Also the other person may see things just a lidderent which may benifit our children.

If you, your wife and your son feel you did the correct thing then most likely you did. Hope this all turns out for the best for Zachary.

As for those that think you did something wrong. HHMM not sure I can say what I want hear without being censored. Just let them revolve in their own world and live your as you feel is correct

Thanks Sheldon coming from you and knowing your sone that means alot. Tell Charlie Isaid hello.

 

[Stac3y]

I instruct my kids, but Jebus help me if I ever tried to be their main coach!

Terry, you're the parent. You know what's best for your kid. Tell 'em to jump up your donkey if they give you a hard time.

 

[KELLYG]

You, as always are doing what is right by your son and probably what you would do for anyone that wanted to further their chances. I think that if, I was following your rant correctly. Master Tubs is still following the plan that you had already set in motion. Sometimes the solution to any problem is to have a "fresh eyes" on it and that sounds like to me what you have done. Tell the people that are being disrespectful to you to buzz off it's none of their business anyway.

 

[girlbug2]

Teryl you sound like not only a good teacher but a good father.