Master of Nothing: Or An Ounce of Humility

[Bill Mattocks]

I've been thinking (and talking) a lot lately about the need for humility when training. Of course, I meant that 'other people' needed more humility. Not me.

You can probably guess what happened next. Time for the universe to teach me a lesson.

Last night in the dojo, we worked on something new. I won't go into details about what it was, not important. Suffice to say that I, in all my magnificence, failed utterly to properly apply the technique.

Worse, a student that I have at times (to my shame) thought of as a martial artist of lesser ability, did the technique beautifully. Not luck; he was very good at it, he 'got it' immediately and applied it correctly.

I could stew about this and make excuses. My foot hurts at the moment, after all. I'm not at my best physically. Blah, blah, blah.

However, what I really needed to do was to take a page out of my own book and humble myself. My pride and ego were exerting themselves once again. Time for a little painful self-lesson.

I am not all that and a bag of chips. In fact, I'm not even some of that and a cup of dirt. I'm still at the beginning of my journey. And every time I look down on someone else, I take steps backward in my path. Every time I think myself larger, I make myself smaller.

So there's one of my major flaws laid out in front of you. I possess the sin of ego and pride, and it's wrong. I will strive to divorce myself from that part of me that I dislike.

 

[Ironcrane]

That first line was brilliant.
When it comes to our personal flaws, I think a lot of us just turn a blind eye to it, or run from it completely. It can take some courage to face those thing. But while you're working on smoothing out those wrinkles, you don't want to beat yourself up over it either. Being overzealous in that will still end up hurting you.
I doubt your doing that though, but you might end up with a student who does.

 

[clfsean]

Had the same thing occur when I was a newly minted black belt at 16. Like you, no need for details, but the universe decided I needed a lesson in the form of a wake up call sparring match. Lucky for me, it was only sparring.

We all get ahead of ourselves from time to time in most all things, especially things we have time invested in & have a generally recognized level of accomplishment & achievement.

 

[Xue Sheng]

:hmm: being as awesome…and attractive… as I am…. I know not what you speak of :uhyeah:

One thing, you can't divorce yourself from the parts of you that you don't like, that is simply suppression and denial and it will come back to bite you X10. You can however learn to except them, work with them and/or make them something you do like…or at least understand and learn to live with.

Way back when I began teaching for my first shift I was teaching a Chen class and there was a guy that was going up on his toes to kick. I, being so very awesome… and attractive…. sauntered on over to show him the proper way to kick as well as show him why you should not kick that way….suffice to say I fell on my butt…..yup..I'm awesome…and attractive…… over the years I have had more than a few lessons in humility…. and I like me better now too

 

[Argus]

Knowing how little I know is my only virtue! At least, I think so anyway! But, maybe I don't know that either?

I say that jokingly, but that's really the attitude I've come to adopt. That doesn't mean that I won't believe I have an understanding of something, or argue until I'm blue in the face. But, I've been wrong often enough to realize that I might not know half of what I think I do at any given time! I know myself to be a prideful person at heart, so I work hard to temper that. I try not to "invest" in that pride, so that I'm always comfortable admitting where I'm wrong. That's easy to do as a student, but I imagine much tougher as a teacher. Nonetheless, it's teachers who can say "I don't know" that I most respect.

Perhaps the key is getting over the fear of emberassment? Or just fear in general?

 

[Blindside]

One of the things I appreciate about regularly sparring in hard contact matches is that I get my *** kicked regularly. Pretty hard to get your head in the clouds when that ex-judo blackbelt is planting it firmly in the mat.

 

[jezr74]

I think a reality check every now and then is good for the soul at all levels.

Sounds like you have a good balance (from what I read of your online persona), I really think you need a little bit of an ego and confidence in the leadership teams of a dojo, a lot of students start a martial art to help build these up, especially the younger ones.

The fact you can look at yourself and have a laugh speaks volumes.

 

[Tony Dismukes]

I'm happy to say that BJJ practice delivers me lessons in humility on a regular basis.

 

[jks9199]

Seems like the universe rolls around and smacks us when we need it the most...

And, yes, I did use "us." Been there a time or twelve myself...

 

[Buka]

So there's one of my major flaws laid out in front of you. I possess the sin of ego and pride, and it's wrong. I will strive to divorce myself from that part of me that I dislike.

I love your posts. Just about every single one of them. Many of them have made me pump my fist and scare the bejesus out of the dog. But this one is misunderstood. "Ego" should not be confused with egotism or ego-centric. Ego will help drive you if you guide it, it is your sense of self. A Martial Artist without a sense of self is a caricature. As for pride, it's a wonderful servant, but a terrible master. So, just ride it, brother, ride it!

 

[conini]

I'm still at the beginning of my journey. And every time I look down on someone else, I take steps backward in my path. Every time I think myself larger, I make myself smaller.

Beautiful lesson. I'm gonna remember that. Thank you.

 

[oftheherd1]

Trying to get a grip on my pride is a constant battle. That I usually win is a constant source of pride for me. :boing1:

For sure a good reminder Bill.

 

[donald1]

In my opinion if someone says they have a big ego i say good job

I keep my ego up in the clouds . Obviously I'm not the best I can't possibly win all the time maybe not even a majority of the time but if I do its because I need to shut up and train NOT because of doubt in myself

 

[punisher73]

I have heard it said before that, "When it comes to the faults of others, we are great judges. But, when it comes to our own faults, we are great lawyers".

It is a very fine line between realistically evaluating where we are at and putting ourselves down. Just as it is a fine line between accepting the hard work we have put into learning and working towards mastery of that skill, and becoming too prideful of that accomplishment.

This year marks the 20th year of my study. Not as long as some, but longer than others. The title "Sensei" describes it perfectly, "one who came before". We must look at our journey and strive to become better than the person we were yesterday. When I look/compare to others and their journey I will always fail. Why? Because, when we are looking at their journey, we miss those dog gone stumbling blocks in the path of our journey. And, we will of course fall flat on our face to remind us that it's our own journey that is important.