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- Nov 22, 2008
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Think of it as a flip side to the "what's your motivation" thread.
I need to find myself a new motivation, and fast. Three years ago I was hooked at my very first class. I got started after finding someone crouched in the bushes by my door one night ... I trained three times a week, and had a blast most of the time. I'd often picture various Bad Guys as we worked drills. It was cathartic to visualize what I'd really like to do to them, and it also prepared me psychologically for an eventuality that thankfully never came. It was an awful place to live, and it took me several years to make my escape.
Now I'm in an infinitely better place - rural hippie town, very little crime. Even the tweakers are mellow here. It's been more than a year, and I find I'm still detoxing psychologically. All the things that made me a dedicated student before - the constant vigilance, the anger, the feeling of having something to prove to a (actual, not training) adversary, the compulsion to prepare myself - are all things I'm consciously trying to leave behind as I start a new life. It's working very well in general, but it's proving to be a real detriment to my training. I just don't have a fire under me these days, and I'm really afraid that I'll lose interest and quit.
Has anyone else gone through this? It's not as if the training in my new hometown isn't fun. And the teacher is great. It just isn't urgent now that I'm not running scared any more. Suggestions?
I need to find myself a new motivation, and fast. Three years ago I was hooked at my very first class. I got started after finding someone crouched in the bushes by my door one night ... I trained three times a week, and had a blast most of the time. I'd often picture various Bad Guys as we worked drills. It was cathartic to visualize what I'd really like to do to them, and it also prepared me psychologically for an eventuality that thankfully never came. It was an awful place to live, and it took me several years to make my escape.
Now I'm in an infinitely better place - rural hippie town, very little crime. Even the tweakers are mellow here. It's been more than a year, and I find I'm still detoxing psychologically. All the things that made me a dedicated student before - the constant vigilance, the anger, the feeling of having something to prove to a (actual, not training) adversary, the compulsion to prepare myself - are all things I'm consciously trying to leave behind as I start a new life. It's working very well in general, but it's proving to be a real detriment to my training. I just don't have a fire under me these days, and I'm really afraid that I'll lose interest and quit.
Has anyone else gone through this? It's not as if the training in my new hometown isn't fun. And the teacher is great. It just isn't urgent now that I'm not running scared any more. Suggestions?