Losing the Fire

[yak sao]

Ive been practicing MA for going on 28 years. There have always been peaks and valleys, that's only natural. But I've been in a funk for a while now that I can't shake. I'm on the verge of quitting. But I know that if I do I'll regret it. I think about taking a break, but I hate the thought of losing ground.
One thing that keeps me going is I'm teaching my sons, plus a handful of others. But to be honest, I think the fire may be gone. I keep thinking to myself that "you are 46 years old, why are you still doing this?????"

Has anyone else out there gone through this? Advise please.

 

[MJS]

Ive been practicing MA for going on 28 years. There have always been peaks and valleys, that's only natural. But I've been in a funk for a while now that I can't shake. I'm on the verge of quitting. But I know that if I do I'll regret it. I think about taking a break, but I hate the thought of losing ground.
One thing that keeps me going is I'm teaching my sons, plus a handful of others. But to be honest, I think the fire may be gone. I keep thinking to myself that "you are 46 years old, why are you still doing this?????"

Has anyone else out there gone through this? Advise please.

I think at some point during training, we've all had those moments where we thought about quitting, thought about changing to another art, or just didn't feel like working out.

IMO, a break is good. Give your mind and body a break. I wouldn't extend the break too long, but a week or 2 wouldn't be that bad.

It sounds like you have the desire to keep going, so I wouldn't give up hope.

 

[jarrod]

i might get crucified for saying this on an MA forum, but it's okay to quit. take a break, find something to stay in shape, & come back if & when you feel like it. it might be that you're in a position in life where you would grow more from another activity, & this is your mind's way of making room for it. or you could just be burnt out & needing a little break.

jf

 

[mook jong man]

When I got bored with Wing Chun I started learning ground fighting as well and it re-ignited my enthusiasm , it was like getting a whole new set of toys to play with .

 

[redantstyle]

after that long quit if you want.

i'm in pretty much the same boat as you. this year i'll be 42, and i started when i was 4. ma was mostly all i did until i was about 35 or so. now i have three kids, and have little or no motivation to train. as of right now, i have three reasons that i still consider training, in order of importance.

1) my kids
2) the various physical and mental benefits of training.
3) it's good to teach

currently, none of these reasons spur me train. maybe that will change later, who knows?

one thing i do wonder though...

what's going to replace it?

regards.

JMBarr
RedAnt Gung Fu

 

[tellner]

You've certainly paid your dues. Maybe it's time to take a break and cleanse the palate. Maybe it's time to do something else.

 

[Blindside]

Try becoming the student again. Do something completely different, get yourself to the rapid end of the learning curve. If that doesn't help, then take up something else you enjoy.

 

[geezer]

Has anyone else out there gone through this? Advise please.

Yeah, I've dealt with... Hell, I'm dealing with the same issues. I took a "break" back in the early 90's that stretched into about 15 or 16 years! About a year and a half ago I started training again, but I'd forgotten so much that it was like starting over. And getting back into shape in your fifties is tough. I'm still a long ways from getteing back to where I was, and further still from progressing into new material. And, sometimes I feel physically and psychologically that I've reached my limit, like an over the hill athlete. I wonder, "is it time to just retire?"

Then I look on the other side. I'll never be a top level master of my art, I'll never be a UFC fighter, or bash it out full-on at a Dog Brothers gathering. But, I am learning new and different skills, as well as more subtle ways to apply old skills. I'm focusing more on the "art" side of the martial arts. I have a great sense of comraderie with my Kung-fu brothers, and I'm in better shape than I've been in for years. And as a dad with a young, ten-year-old son, that's important too. So for me it's still worth doing. I just do things differently, and make sure I have some fun along the way. So, good luck, and I hope you find a path that works for you.

 

[Kwanjang]

I have had plenty of valid reason to jusify "just quiting" I do love the MA, however owning two schools can really keep you busy.

Sometimes I long to be "just a student" in line with the rest. For example right now i have planter faciitis (not sure on the spelling) But I do know its painful.

You got to do what is in your heart-Only you know!

 

[seasoned]

Ive been practicing MA for going on 28 years. There have always been peaks and valleys, that's only natural. But I've been in a funk for a while now that I can't shake. I'm on the verge of quitting. But I know that if I do I'll regret it. I think about taking a break, but I hate the thought of losing ground.
One thing that keeps me going is I'm teaching my sons, plus a handful of others. But to be honest, I think the fire may be gone. I keep thinking to myself that "you are 46 years old, why are you still doing this?????"

Has anyone else out there gone through this? Advise please.

Let your sons sustain you through this slump. Looking back down the road, it will be some of the best sharing times you spend with them. I trained my son and daughter, they are both grown and started their own lives, but we still look back and reminisce. By making it exciting for them it will in turn give you a renewal.

 

[astrobiologist]

In our journey through life there are many paths...

There is far more to the martial arts than training techniques everyday. If you need a break from the physical side of things, that's fine. I actually prefer to take a week or so off once in a while so that my body can repair itself a bit. You can still continue to train your mind. There are also ways to re-light your fire...

Consider your martial arts knowledge like a lake. Maybe you have a lake that is fairly wide (lots of techniques, skills, forms, etc.), but what you may need is to make your lake deeper (introspection, teaching, reading, writing, meditation, etc.).

Maybe you should change things up a little bit. If you usually do hardcore cardio workouts, than maybe you should start trying some balance workouts or strengthening workouts. If you always train techniques and forms, than maybe you could take a few weeks to work on philosophy, history, or meditative practises. I am a huge fan of changing up workouts. That keeps the mind fresh and makes the body work harder. Maybe you coulde take your students on a camping trip and train outdoors. Maybe you could use a martial arts trip, like a week at a Shaolin Temple in China, a trip to Japan or Brazil, or even just an American excursion to drive a few hundred miles and check out all the martial arts schools that you can find a long the way. Maybe you could try a few seminars. Also, reading about the martial arts may help to get you fired up about your own training.

I wish the best for you. If you do decide to take a break, beware your own apathy. We all have it in us to avoid the hard road, but usually the easy road is just a short circle that takes us nowhere.

Graham

 

[hkfuie]

We all have it in us to avoid the hard road, but usually the easy road is just a short circle that takes us nowhere.

Graham

Love what you said there, Graham...

Wow, what a great thread. I'm glad I got a chance t read what everyone else has written. So many great ideas.

Just earlier this week I looked up from my life and wondered, why am I doing all this stuff? Why not slow down and take it easy? Why not just choose an easier life?

Well, I would get bored. When I looked at my life I realized I have taken on more martial arts responsibilities and that has left me less time to do things I do JUST for fun: skating, geocaching, reading...

For me, I know at the end of this month I will have more free time again just to do fun things that have no goal at the end, no rank involved, no end to achieve...goals and achievements are great, but I have no enjoyment in those things unless sometimes I just have FUN! Play.

I know if I played and joked around in my TKD class as much as I play and joke around in my Judo class, I would be in big trouble! But for me, that is why Judo is a huge break for me. I love it! I probably play too much, but it's what I need in that class! And I am still learning alot. Thank goodness my instructor tolerates me! I relate to what Kwanjang says about longing to be a student in the line...I did/do, too! So I became just that! LOL!

Anyway, Yak Sao, I hope you find some way to put fun and joy into your life/training. You will find what's right for you sooner or later. I hope to hear about it when you do. One of my teacher used to tell me, "You have everything you need inside you."

 

[yak sao]

Thanks everyone for your replies and great advise.
I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm suffering from a severe case of the winter blahs.

So I'm going to fight through it and come out on the other side. That's what we do, right?

 

[K-man]

Yeah, I've dealt with... Hell, I'm dealing with the same issues. I took a "break" back in the early 90's that stretched into about 15 or 16 years! About a year and a half ago I started training again, but I'd forgotten so much that it was like starting over. And getting back into shape in your fifties is tough. I'm still a long ways from getteing back to where I was, and further still from progressing into new material. And, sometimes I feel physically and psychologically that I've reached my limit, like an over the hill athlete. I wonder, "is it time to just retire?"

Then I look on the other side. I'll never be a top level master of my art, I'll never be a UFC fighter, or bash it out full-on at a Dog Brothers gathering. But, I am learning new and different skills, as well as more subtle ways to apply old skills. I'm focusing more on the "art" side of the martial arts. I have a great sense of comraderie with my Kung-fu brothers, and I'm in better shape than I've been in for years. And as a dad with a young, ten-year-old son, that's important too. So for me it's still worth doing. I just do things differently, and make sure I have some fun along the way. So, good luck, and I hope you find a path that works for you.

I took 15 years off back in the late 80's. I was not happy with the politics people play and the training was becoming boring. When people ask me if I am enjoying what I do, I say "If I wasn't enjoying it, I wouldn't be here!"
Now my skill level is higher, I love the training, and I too am focusing on the 'art' side.
Take a break and come back when you are ready.

 

[MJS]

Try becoming the student again. Do something completely different, get yourself to the rapid end of the learning curve. If that doesn't help, then take up something else you enjoy.

My thoughts exactly! There were many times that I was doing more teaching than training, and yes, I was getting a bit frustrated. Sure, anytime you teach, you're still 'training' per se, but its a very different mindset. We need to have a balance of both.

 

[Guardian]

i might get crucified for saying this on an MA forum, but it's okay to quit. take a break, find something to stay in shape, & come back if & when you feel like it. it might be that you're in a position in life where you would grow more from another activity, & this is your mind's way of making room for it. or you could just be burnt out & needing a little break.

jf

Your not the only one to get crucified then. I took long breaks and went into other things. I stopped taking classes and teaching when I retired from the service. I still teach, but strictly SD wise, friends family members on the side that kind of stuff, not official or extreme. I'm still doing that and enjoying not giving up 3 or 4 nights a week. I've toned down my workouts to 2 times a week and just tone up during other nights here and there.

 

[Brian King]

Yak sao wrote:

"I think I've come to the conclusion that I'm suffering from a severe case of the winter blahs.

So I'm going to fight through it and come out on the other side. That's what we do, right?”

Roger that sir. We often make decisions based on emotions that may have nothing to do at all with the decisions and situations that we face. Taking time applying logic and honestly analyzing our situation and the pros and cons of our decisions makes not only for better decisions but less recriminations as we look back on the decisions as time passes. Decisions based on fear, justifications or rationalizations rarely produce good decisions. At least that has been my experiences.

Good luck on the fight through sir. It is what we do if we are worth the fight.
Regards
Brian King