Laurentkd
Master Black Belt
Ok, I have a question for you guys. I plan on letting my instructor know what happened and do whatever he thinks I should do, but he may ask my opinion so I thought I would get your opinion...
We have discussed before the pros/cons to a instructor dating a student and I think most of us are in agreement that 99% of the time it is a big no-no. There is a student at my school who has hinted at having an interest in me (to my instructor no less) and has been nicely but simply told that "that is not how we do things here." This student is a transfer-in green belt student and has been training with us for about six months. I think things were much more lax at his old school, because his peers and seniors have been trying hard to show him "our way" but to little effect (for example-not telling jokes during class, not trying to tell a black belt how to hold a target, not telling the center ref that that head shot when no head contact was allowed was really a shot to the chest, etc). This guy is really frustrating and I have less patience for him than my instructor does. I think it is either a confidence issue (which is why we are being so patient) or an authority issues (which may become a bigger problem).
Anyway... I was out with the girls last night and this guy was there. I said hello and basically left it at that (he was checking ID's). But as I walked out the door he slipped me a note which said "I like you. Can we talk?"
Now he has already been told this is not a possibility. This is why I am starting to believe that he is not trying to prove he can fit in with everyone, but rather doesn't care what rules and guidelines have been set down within our dojang. (Which is very unattractive by the way).
So, what is my next step (besides letting my instructor know)? Do I gently explain it to him as if he doesn't already know, do I try to squash this more firmly? what do you think?
Thanks everyone!
We have discussed before the pros/cons to a instructor dating a student and I think most of us are in agreement that 99% of the time it is a big no-no. There is a student at my school who has hinted at having an interest in me (to my instructor no less) and has been nicely but simply told that "that is not how we do things here." This student is a transfer-in green belt student and has been training with us for about six months. I think things were much more lax at his old school, because his peers and seniors have been trying hard to show him "our way" but to little effect (for example-not telling jokes during class, not trying to tell a black belt how to hold a target, not telling the center ref that that head shot when no head contact was allowed was really a shot to the chest, etc). This guy is really frustrating and I have less patience for him than my instructor does. I think it is either a confidence issue (which is why we are being so patient) or an authority issues (which may become a bigger problem).
Anyway... I was out with the girls last night and this guy was there. I said hello and basically left it at that (he was checking ID's). But as I walked out the door he slipped me a note which said "I like you. Can we talk?"
Now he has already been told this is not a possibility. This is why I am starting to believe that he is not trying to prove he can fit in with everyone, but rather doesn't care what rules and guidelines have been set down within our dojang. (Which is very unattractive by the way).
So, what is my next step (besides letting my instructor know)? Do I gently explain it to him as if he doesn't already know, do I try to squash this more firmly? what do you think?
Thanks everyone!