I got in a fight. I really didn't want to but it happened.

[Ironbear24]

Long story short, someone brought up I train in martial arts, then some idiot said martial arts is ********. I didn't say anything, I just ignored it because I don't care what some moron thinks. My friends laughed about it in an uncomfortable kind of way and then he continued with "You don't really know how to fight until you hit the streets or been to prison. All that other **** doesn't work." I said ok that's your opinion. Then he started getting in my face and saying things like "You want to prove it? We can go right now." I said look, I don't bully kids. Then he pushed me and well, I didn't really move much from the push, he kind of pushed himself off my body. I did nothing and just looked at him, he continued taunting me.

Then he took off his shirt, and started flexing, I wish I was joking but this guy was serious. He looked like a tweaker, I could practically count his ribs and I couldn't help but laugh. which of course made him angry.. We argued a little more and eventually he threw a punch. He ate side kick, I aimed for his stomach but I got the area above his crotch and below his belly button. He lost his balance and I did nothing to follow up, I didn't want to hurt this person to be honest, this felt nothing like a fight to me, it felt like being pestered by a kid or something. He came at me again shouting and he got me in the chin, I blocked a lot of his punches but one slipped by, now i was annoyed.

So I managed to grab his wrist and I shoved him to a wall and with my free hand punched him a couple of times in the face, I was surprised at how quickly this got messy, I gave him a bloody lip and broke the guys sunglasses. I let him go and he got in his car and left saying he is going to "be on the look out for me."

I honestly feel conflicted by this, I didn't want to hurt this person but when he made contact with me I just reacted the way I did. I get martial arts is about self defense, but honestly I never felt threatened at any time, and I feel like I could have handled this better. My friends tell me to not worry about it and were laughing about the whole thing, they were happy to have seen this happen and excited by it. I mean don't get me wrong, I was proud that I was capable of doing what I did, but at the same time I feel bad for the person because I didn't want that to happen.

I am honestly not afraid of this person, he more than likely just said what he said because he was made he got hit like that and embarrassed a bunch of people saw this. So was there a better way I could have handled this or did I do the right thing?

 

[Dirty Dog]

First question that springs to my mind... why didn't you leave, when he started escalating?

 

[Ironbear24]

Because this was a party for a friend of mine and I wanted to be there for her.

 

[Phobius]

One tip that you can try next time something like this happends. Try stating that you know he is right, and that what you do would most likely not work in a fight. But hey, it is gets you out of the house and moving your body. Make some jokes about it on otherwise being a couch potato.

Let them win those arguments because otherwise they will lead to fights.

 

[Touch Of Death]

One tip that you can try next time something like this happends. Try stating that you know he is right, and that what you do would most likely not work in a fight. But hey, it is gets you out of the house and moving your body. Make some jokes about it on otherwise being a couch potato.

Let them win those arguments because otherwise they will lead to fights.

I agree, but sometimes...

 

[drop bear]

Slap him next time.

It is funnier and causes less mess.

 

[RTKDCMB]

"You don't really know how to fight until you hit the streets or been to prison.

You could have asked him how he knows that and if he had been in prison. Get him into a logical discussion or some other way to deflect his mind away from blurting out angry outbursts.

 

[jks9199]

You fell into a Monkey Dance. If you don't want the fight to happen, you have to break the script, not follow along.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Because this was a party for a friend of mine and I wanted to be there for her.

Was your friend happier with this outcome than if you had just left?

 

[Skullpunch]

Don't really see anything that makes you guilty. The way you handled that was rather passive and you tolerated a lot before you finally decided enough was enough. I'd say you let him off easy, I know plenty of people who would've beat his a$$ a LOT worse than you did as soon as he threw that first punch.

The only thing I would say you could've done different if you're really THAT worried about hurting him is from the sounds of it you were a lot stronger and more skilled than he was, which means you probably could've grabbed and restrained him until he wore himself out trying to flail and flop his way out of your hold (which doesn't take long for someone who doesn't know what they're doing).

I don't blame you at all for what you did, just saying the above paragraph is something you could've done if you wanted to get through this mess without having to throw any punches.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

You fell into a Monkey Dance. If you don't want the fight to happen, you have to break the script, not follow along.

While this does happen, it doesn't sound like he was joining this. It sounded more like he tried verbal de-escalation, but the other guy was so focused on the 'monkey dance' that it didn't work.

 

[oaktree]

A couple of things may have avoided it,
First saying you don't bully kids that is a strike to his ego he already wants to fight that adds fuel to the fire.second laughing at him adds more fuel to the fire add a couple of cute girls watching him and we'll an explosion of insecurity and pride results in some one attacking.
You could have thrown him completely off guard by saying something that complements him like hey that's a cool tattoo where did you get it, and then apologize to him and say he is right bringing back his pride. I often used things like that in things when it was a pride based situation

 

[mograph]

It sounds like a "hey, sh*t happens" kind of thing. He was a dope, and just got roughed up a bit.

I said ok that's your opinion.

But if you're looking for a "what should I do next time," I'd have left out the above comment, because (IMO) telling someone that their statement of fact (as they see it) is an opinion just irritates them, because it's saying that it's really not fact. The person needs to qualify their own statement as opinion first to avoid that confrontation, right?

Instead, I would have pretended that I knew nothing about martial arts, asked him more about his experience, maybe, or even agreed with him, just enough to let him get the rant out, and let him move to a new topic. Never let them know that you know something about martial arts, maybe.

 

[Ironbear24]

A couple of things may have avoided it,
First saying you don't bully kids that is a strike to his ego he already wants to fight that adds fuel to the fire.second laughing at him adds more fuel to the fire add a couple of cute girls watching him and we'll an explosion of insecurity and pride results in some one attacking.
You could have thrown him completely off guard by saying something that complements him like hey that's a cool tattoo where did you get it, and then apologize to him and say he is right bringing back his pride. I often used things like that in things when it was a pride based situation

There were girls involved.

 

[Ironbear24]

Was your friend happier with this outcome than if you had just left?

I talked to her about it and her and her husband said I should have just told them about it, then they would have told him to leave. Then if he didn't leave they would call the police to make him leave.

 

[MAfreak]

don't worry. its not your fault that he was one of the jerks who just learn the hard way. he didn't let you go and wanted to fight and he got what he wanted. you did him a favour and learned that your training works well.

 

[JR 137]

The first rule of fight club is you don't talk about fight club. This'll keep idiots like this from challenging you. Not that it was you who brought it up.

You shouldn't have had to leave. I know, leaving/walking away seems like the right thing to do, but don't turn your back on an opponent makes more sense to me. It was your friend's party.

You did the right thing by controlling yourself and not taking it further than you did. His only lingering injury here is a 2nd degree pride sprain.

My take from it is this guy would've kept it up no matter what you said or did. It happens. The whole taking the shirt off thing reminds me of a Jerry Springer Show moment.

Sometimes using humor in these situations makes it worse. Sometimes it works. What's worked most often for me is something along the lines of "I don't know about you, but I'm here to have a few beers, have a good time, and try to get laid. Beating each other up is going to ruin that for both of us." Most guys can agree to that one.

 

[mograph]

Then he took off his shirt, and started flexing...

The whole taking the shirt off thing reminds me of a Jerry Springer Show moment.

Yeah ... when did that become a thing? Guys seem pretty quick to lose the shirt nowadays.

Edit: never mind. Aside from the attempts at intimidation (tats!), the interwebs say it's to avoid messing up your favorite shirt, and/or to prevent the other guy from pulling it over your head hockey-style. Yeah, okay.

 

[oaktree]

Yeah ... when did that become a thing? Guys seem pretty quick to lose the shirt nowadays.

I remember watching guys take out there ear rings and chains sometimes kick off there flip flops the hood is strange I guess.
Woman would go straight for the weave it's like capture the flag. I have seen fights where the other guys pants fall down and he kept throwing punches because in the hood having your pants sag is cool. Well that's all I remember

 

[drop bear]

Yeah ... when did that become a thing? Guys seem pretty quick to lose the shirt nowadays.

Edit: never mind. Aside from the attempts at intimidation (tats!), the interwebs say it's to avoid messing up your favorite shirt, and/or to prevent the other guy from pulling it over your head hockey-style. Yeah, okay.

I have always wanted a set of stripper pants just so i could go party boy on people who do that.