I don't know if this personal experience will help you, but I'll share it anyway. When I opened my first school in 1978, I did not have to do my own test, as the tests were conducted by the ATA vice president, Master Rober Allemier, and my intructor, whom you know as Grandmaster Al Smith (he was 4th Dan then). I still got nervous, and had those same experiences of seeing where I was lacking in my teaching by watching my students. They all did well, and I was always proud.
I sat on many judging panels for the ATA back then, but the first time I ran my own test, for just my own students, was in 1776 (lol - I mean 1984). I invited two of my friends who had earned their Black Belts in the ATA as well. Before the test began, students were gathering, and parents were being seated. I was focused on the tasks at hand, and making sure everything would go just right.
One of my Black Belt friends sat comfortably on the couch in my office, slouched down, legs crossed, and casually said to me, "relax, what are you so nervous about?" I thought I was being rather composed, just diligent in my work. I wanted to look at him and say, "Sure, you have nothing to be nervous about. It's not your school, your students, or your test," but I didn't.
When the testing began, I stood up, introduced myself, and proceeded to introduce the other judges. At that moment, I drew a blank, and couldn't remember my friend's name. I had known him for years, yet I was at a loss. He chimed in with his own name, and I played it off as though I was joking. Anyway, the test went well, and I went on to become a great instructor! :lol2: :lol2:
You will do well, and if not, I'm sure your students will cover for you! :ultracool
Good Luck!
CM D. J. Eisenhart
