Fear as a Weapon

[Matt Bryers]

Long story short, when I started martial arts / wrestling when I was 14 or so... I sucked. Lost all the time, didn't have much strength and just didn't know how to put it together on the mat. I **** my brains out before every match and was so "fearful" that I could never put it together.

Through those experiences and fast forward 20+ years I have learned that fear and the management of fear is almost as important as the techniques themselves.

You may have all the techniques in the world, but if you're a scared little man... They may mean nothing.

I actually tattooed conquer your fear on my chest plate as a reminder to myself that overcoming fear and using the chemical responses in your body as a Weapon instead of a hindrance is powerful.

Now, yes I still may lose. But I embrace the fear. I don't want to be afraid. I want to take what fears me and say love you. I know that whoever I fight will have the best of my ability at the moment (not including injuries, illness, etc).

My purpose of this post is simple. If you are new to martial arts or an experienced one, I'm sure you'll face fear during an intense sparring session or possibly a real defense situation or daily life. I believe that in order to win these situations, you need to fight at your highest ability. And in order to do that, your mind needs to be solid.

How do you deal with fear??

For me, it was forcing myself into situations (BJJ competitions, pro MMA, kyokushin, strongman, competition training, etc) to a point where I was accustomed to the fear and didn't allow it to beat me before my opponent did.

So..... We all face it. And if you tell me you don't... I don't believe you or you haven't been placed in a situation where you should be.

What are some of your experiences? What was your most fearful moment?

 

[Mark P]

I think that after getting beat soundly quite a few times I figured out that losing a match was not the end of the world. I was just a young kid when I started competing and I was also scared sh*tless. Those early losses took away alot of the fear and gave me motivation to train harder.

 

[Danny T]

I may be not what you are wanting in this discussion in that the greatest fear for me as yet came in combat.
The affects of fear is the same no matter what is the cause. However, the fear driven from a wrestling competition and over coming it though important to that individual is no where near life altering as what those who have been in life or death situations and returned to them day in and day out. Then when it is over to attempt to return to a 'normal' life.

Please understand I am not trying to down play your or others dealing with fear.

I dealt with it by accepting that I was dead already just haven't dropped. Nothing was going to change so just keep doing your job and never give up. Took it's toll and still dealing with it these many years later. (have had professional help) Again not down playing but (for me and I sure for some others) when I hear things like this, (fear in a competition) it makes me scoff and want to mock!!! (please understand I am not wanting to)

Those who have been in real life or death altercations seldom wish to talk of it. (took me almost 30 years)

Being in the martial arts has been very healing; everyday is a blessing - Everyday.
have been in numerous competitions (boxing and muay thai) and can honestly say have had no fear in any of them. Greatest fear is being in crowds and someone behind me.

Accept that you will get punched, kicked, choked, etc. Train for it and never give up.

Sorry for rambling.

 

[Touch Of Death]

On the flipside of this, I find an opponents lack of fear to be his downfall; because, while I look like a Choir Boy, I am actually sneaky and mean.

 

[Danny T]

Just because one isn't fearful doesn't mean one is foolish. Though there are those who are.

 

[drop bear]

I may be not what you are wanting in this discussion in that the greatest fear for me as yet came in combat.
The affects of fear is the same no matter what is the cause. However, the fear driven from a wrestling competition and over coming it though important to that individual is no where near life altering as what those who have been in life or death situations and returned to them day in and day out. Then when it is over to attempt to return to a 'normal' life.

Please understand I am not trying to down play your or others dealing with fear.

I dealt with it by accepting that I was dead already just haven't dropped. Nothing was going to change so just keep doing your job and never give up. Took it's toll and still dealing with it these many years later. (have had professional help) Again not down playing but (for me and I sure for some others) when I hear things like this, (fear in a competition) it makes me scoff and want to mock!!! (please understand I am not wanting to)

Those who have been in real life or death altercations seldom wish to talk of it. (took me almost 30 years)

Being in the martial arts has been very healing; everyday is a blessing - Everyday.
have been in numerous competitions (boxing and muay thai) and can honestly say have had no fear in any of them. Greatest fear is being in crowds and someone behind me.

Accept that you will get punched, kicked, choked, etc. Train for it and never give up.

Sorry for rambling.

Yeah accepting you might lose has been a common idea in people i know and fear management.

 

[PhotonGuy]

I've heard it being said that fear is a fire burning inside you. If you control it, it will make you hot. If it controls you it will burn you up. Not only that but if you've got teammates they will get burned too.

 

[drop bear]

I've heard it being said that fear is a fire burning inside you. If you control it, it will make you hot. If it controls you it will burn you up. Not only that but if you've got teammates they will get burned too.

There is no time generally so i don't bother. I just let it do what it does. Otherwise i am worried about not only the threat but my own fear as well.

 

[Transk53]

For me fear is a companion, but it does not overrule me, or take away any ability to act. I go on the premise that if you are going to get punched in the face, why worry about getting punched in the face. No point fearing that, if it happens, it happens. Mind you at the OP's age, I was being bullied, so my outlook probably stems from that.

 

[Zero]

Matt Bryers, I am also more in Danny T's camp on this one. Feel free not to believe me but I have never experienced fear while in tournaments, be that judo while I was younger or in karate or full contact kickboxing (and then mma) for most of my competitive life. I have experienced anger at myself when I have been beaten by someone I felt I shoulder have been able to defeat. I have very much experienced fear but not in that context. I came to tournament and sport fighting with relish and that has never changed.

I have been wary of opponents and cautious but that, as Danny T points out, is something entirely different and something that just makes sense.

I have been scared when pushing myself on some climbs and felt it was getting very close to the edge of my abilities. Unlike this, tournament fighting is a relatively controlled and predictable environment.

When I was young I was involved in a very bad car crash along a coastal road. Getting into a controlled ring doesn't compare to that or being jumped on the street with no ref to call time.

 

[Zero]

Yeah accepting you might lose has been a common idea in people i know and fear management.

I couldn't quite follow that. Are you saying that there are a lot of people you know in MA, or other sports, that go about with the mind set of "accepting they might lose" to manage their fear?

 

[Matt Bryers]

Matt Bryers, I am also more in Danny T's camp on this one. Feel free not to believe me but I have never experienced fear while in tournaments, be that judo while I was younger or in karate or full contact kickboxing (and then mma) for most of my competitive life. I have experienced anger at myself when I have been beaten by someone I felt I shoulder have been able to defeat. I have very much experienced fear but not in that context. I came to tournament and sport fighting with relish and that has never changed.

I have been wary of opponents and cautious but that, as Danny T points out, is something entirely different and something that just makes sense.

I have been scared when pushing myself on some climbs and felt it was getting very close to the edge of my abilities. Unlike this, tournament fighting is a relatively controlled and predictable environment.

When I was young I was involved in a very bad car crash along a coastal road. Getting into a controlled ring doesn't compare to that or being jumped on the street with no ref to call time.

I see your point, but I also believe that it's still there, yet you manage it so well that it's "nothing".

Also, let me clarify too.... Fear in a competition is vastly different then the real thing. But I personally believe that it's still there on some level. You just know how to manage it extremely well.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Positive reinforcement is meant to create fear, of failure.

 

[Matt Bryers]

Matt Bryers, I am also more in Danny T's camp on this one. Feel free not to believe me but I have never experienced fear while in tournaments, be that judo while I was younger or in karate or full contact kickboxing (and then mma) for most of my competitive life. I have experienced anger at myself when I have been beaten by someone I felt I shoulder have been able to defeat. I have very much experienced fear but not in that context. I came to tournament and sport fighting with relish and that has never changed.

I have been wary of opponents and cautious but that, as Danny T points out, is something entirely different and something that just makes sense.

I have been scared when pushing myself on some climbs and felt it was getting very close to the edge of my abilities. Unlike this, tournament fighting is a relatively controlled and predictable environment.

When I was young I was involved in a very bad car crash along a coastal road. Getting into a controlled ring doesn't compare to that or being jumped on the street with no ref to call time.

Also, what I said in the OP was that "you may not have faced a situation where you have had to be afraid". Because of your extreme experience, you understand extreme fear. All the other fear is easily manageable to a point where it's nothing.

AND that was the point of the post - put yourself in situations that fear you, challenge you, etc to a point where it's a Weapon instead of a hindrance. Fear just allows you to have a heightened sense of awareness instead of beating / crippling you.

 

[Zero]

I see your point, but I also believe that it's still there, yet you manage it so well that it's "nothing".

Also, let me clarify too.... Fear in a competition is vastly different then the real thing. But I personally believe that it's still there on some level. You just know how to manage it extremely well.

It is of course possible and you could be right that it is, or was initially, there on some level for myself but it did not register with me.

However, I was competing in judo from v young age, 5 or 6 and all through primary school and then switched to TKD in high school and so was competing from an early age. I was always very sporty and competitive and so even before some of the more extreme situations I have been in, I was competing but do not recall experiencing fear at that young age - but that's a hard thing to correctly remember delving so far back into the murky depths of the past. Probably by the time I had got to early teens I was so used to it that by then it was not an issue. In my late teens/early twenties I switched and focused seriously on full contact karate and kickboxing and competed at national level but again going to the full contact format from TKD did not instil me with fear either - but by then I had had a near death experience and had to drag myself out of a destroyed car with a face split into three pieces so maybe that and other things masked things or put the ring into perspective.

Seriously though, I think for some people fighting, be it sanctioned or unsanctioned in the street is just not an issue - everyone is geared differently, or slightly differently. Some people simply do not have an issue and are either drawn to (or have no issue with not seeking to avoid) violence. For them the ring can be a healthy thing.

 

[Zero]

Also, what I said in the OP was that "you may not have faced a situation where you have had to be afraid". Because of your extreme experience, you understand extreme fear. All the other fear is easily manageable to a point where it's nothing.

AND that was the point of the post - put yourself in situations that fear you, challenge you, etc to a point where it's a Weapon instead of a hindrance. Fear just allows you to have a heightened sense of awareness instead of beating / crippling you.

Understood. And agreed that the key thing is to be able to control your own emotions.

I am aware that people claiming not to be afraid can simply be taken as grandstanding or BS. But for some people, for certain things it is just not there.. Again, it is hard to determine if that is because due to other experiences, their tolerance is increased or if that is simply because of their make up from day one. I don't know.

I have never seen one's own emotions as being a weapon to use, be it fear or anger. I try to keep my own emotions out of that equation. In a competitive setting I personally try to intimidate and/or employ the fear or uncertainty or anger of others against them if it is there to be used. At top levels fear and uncertainty is not so common, it's more a mutual wariness, but you can certainly goad or frustrate even very high level fighters at times.

 

[Matt Bryers]

Qui

It is of course possible and you could be right that it is, or was initially, there on some level for myself but it did not register with me.

However, I was competing in judo from v young age, 5 or 6 and all through primary school and then switched to TKD in high school and so was competing from an early age. I was always very sporty and competitive and so even before some of the more extreme situations I have been in, I was competing but do not recall experiencing fear at that young age - but that's a hard thing to correctly remember. Probably by the time I had got to early teens I was so used to it that by then it was not an issue. In my late teens/early twenties I switched and focused seriously on full contact karate and kickboxing and competed at national level but again going to the full contact format from TKD did not instil me with fear either - but by then I had had a near death experience and had to drag myself out of a destroyed car with a face split into three pieces and had also been doing some serious technical climbs so maybe that masked things or put the ring into perspective.

Seriously though, I think for some people fighting, be it sanctioned or unsanctioned in the street is just not an issue - everyone is geared differently, or slightly differently. Some people simply do not have an issue and are either drawn to (or have no issue with not seeking to avoid) violence. For them the ring can be a healthy thing.

Quite insightful. And again, I see your point.

Digging down deeper I still think you have the physiological responses of increased heartrate, raise in adrenaline levels, increased Endorphins, etc every time you step into the ring or a fight.

I personally like to fight and enjoy it. I like the primal feeling behind it, and the "rush". I am also somewhat of an adrenaline junkie. So fighting of any kind (sparring, competitive or real) is a rush. When I started fighting, particularly wrestling, I sucked, but enjoyed the training immensely. As I progressed, I enjoyed all of it.

But I definitely do not look for the real.

So, the people who like to fight, feel the same way. It's primal, it's exciting and the responses their body has to the experience is kind of addicting.

But, would you, myself or others enjoy it so much if we didn't have those responses?

And I'm not a doctor, but I would assume that those responses are caused by a deep down primal sense of survival (fear) that our conscious brain is not aware of.... Then again, I'm just speculating....

 

[drop bear]

I couldn't quite follow that. Are you saying that there are a lot of people you know in MA, or other sports, that go about with the mind set of "accepting they might lose" to manage their fear?

Yeah. And a few heavy street fighters as well. Very sort of Viking i suppose.

 

[Drose427]

For me, i'm a little Masochistic. I've made many injuries worse because I just love the rush of sparring and rolling, which is why I cant roll like I used to lol

But coming from a large, redneck, military family. We fought a lot growing up lol Even now, most of us consider a minor brawl just a way to work things out. Surprisingly, it almost never gets out of hand and usually ends up with hugs, brews, and reminiscing! ButI was in and out of boxing gloves since I was 8 and stuck with it for a while after I was 12. My dad says, "it's our Irish heritage and we're just raised for it." I'm the weird breed who'll get headbutted in match, or punched in the nose, and I'll keep pushing forward with a smile. One of the best pieces of advice I got from my family was, "Win or lose, if you fight, you give it everything you've got." Win or lose, if keep getting up and bust the other guy up, odds are he'll leave you alone from now one. No bully likes a victim who fights back.

In terms of competition, I get aggressive and it shows, but I try to keep my face as neutral as I can so Im not tensing up or giving away an attack. I still suck at it, but eventually I'll get there lol

I also know many, many people who aren't like that and have a hard time staying calm and focused in the ring and on the mat. The first thing I tell them, is to just breathe. Thats the simplest way to slow your heart rate and calm down so you can figure out how to take on an opponent. From there, I tell them not to worry about getting hit. Obviously, the goal is to not get hit, but any fighter from any style will tell you its not that easy. But it's not as bad as people think. From there, I tell them to fight their fight or wrestle their match. Don't give them the chance to even breathe. The less time your opponent has to do anything, the less you have to fear. Plus, SD laws are iffy and many times, if one person has training they get looked at differently. Knock out a guy who was attacking you and his jaw gets fractured? Cop or his lawyer may say, "Well you've had training, so you shouldn't have taken it so far!" Which in my opinion is crazy and just plain dumb,

For me, fear isn't weapon. I personally feel it's too hit and miss. If the other guy has had training, or is just plain arrogant it probably wont even work. Maybe after they get hit a couple times, but if the fights going I think it's irrelevant at that point. Either both guys are gonna swing till someone drops, or ones just gonna get clobbered. I teach and preach that you need to learn to stay calm and focused in a fearful situation, not try to scare the other guy. You'll never get rid of that burning adrenaline feeling in your gut, but you can REFUSE to let it control you and the outcome

 

[Buka]

In my opinion, most people misunderstand fear. I think that might be especially true in Martial Arts.

Most people think fear is about "them". It is not.