Advice needed on training unconfident/ scared students

[agemechanic03]

Hey all, I am just needing some help on teaching one of the students in my class. I'm not the instructor, but I assist in teaching all of the time and more so with the white belts. This lady has no self-confidence in herself. It's so bad that it looks like she is about to cry. I encourage her a lot and when I fix something, it's always positive. I tell her as soon as she gets something down, GREAT JOB! Just like that! Keep up the good work!
You all get the gist of things. So what I'm looking for is, is there any hope or is it a lost cause? I'm only gonna get to work with her for like 2 more months since she is here TDY, but I'd like to boost her confidence up as much as possible.

Thanks,

Chris

 

[Kacey]

There is always hope. The question is, why is she unconfident or scared? Has she been attacked/abused in the past? Is she shy? Does she consider herself uncoordinated? Is she taking the class voluntarily (her own idea) or because someone talked her into it and she doesn't really want to be there? Some other reason?

That said, doing everything from a positive perspective, as you're already doing, is the best way to go. If there's anyone in the class who had similar problems and overcame them, who would be willing to talk to her, that might help as well.

 

[terryl965]

Chris one thing I personnally do with these type of students id talk, what I mean ask about her high school days find out what she does after class. This will give you something to grasp while teaching, find out the reason she is there in the first place and build from that. Sound like you are giving the right type of encouragement but sometime they need to find the purpose for them being there.

 

[turtle]

It might also help to not focus too much on her. Sometimes shy/unconfident people become even more so when they feel like they're being watched over. It sounds like she needs lots of encouragement but be careful not to overwhelm her.

I don't think anyone is a lost cause, but some people do need a lot of extra help to find their way. Terry makes a really good point about trying to help her discover what she wants out of training and how you can help make that happen.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Hey all, I am just needing some help on teaching one of the students in my class. I'm not the instructor, but I assist in teaching all of the time and more so with the white belts. This lady has no self-confidence in herself. It's so bad that it looks like she is about to cry. I encourage her a lot and when I fix something, it's always positive. I tell her as soon as she gets something down, GREAT JOB! Just like that! Keep up the good work!
You all get the gist of things. So what I'm looking for is, is there any hope or is it a lost cause? I'm only gonna get to work with her for like 2 more months since she is here TDY, but I'd like to boost her confidence up as much as possible.

Thanks,

Chris

Give the "oreo" approach. Compliment-critcism-compliment.
Sean

 

[agemechanic03]

Thanks all for the advice. It really is greatly appreciated. Couple little points here:
1 She is shy/ timid
2 I do not over-crowd her. I only get to work with her every now n then since she is in the morning class and I am in the night. Basically weekends and holidays
3 She is only here for a short while since she is TDY here (military), so this is something to help her pass the time.
4 The oreo affect is used by me quite often, especially when the person starts getting it down.

I will try and talk to her some more on Monday morning at class as you have said Terry and Kacey.

Once again, thanks. That was really good advice. Anybody else wanting to comment, PLEASE DO!

Chris

 

[Jade Tigress]

Hey all, I am just needing some help on teaching one of the students in my class. I'm not the instructor, but I assist in teaching all of the time and more so with the white belts. This lady has no self-confidence in herself. It's so bad that it looks like she is about to cry. I encourage her a lot and when I fix something, it's always positive. I tell her as soon as she gets something down, GREAT JOB! Just like that! Keep up the good work!
You all get the gist of things. So what I'm looking for is, is there any hope or is it a lost cause? I'm only gonna get to work with her for like 2 more months since she is here TDY, but I'd like to boost her confidence up as much as possible.

Thanks,

Chris

It sounds to me like you're handling it just right. The fact that she's even there and training in spite of her confidence issues speaks volumes. It will take time, just keep encouraging her and be patient. She's there for a reason. You may be surprised at the way she blossoms with time.

 

[kaizasosei]

maybe she's just downplaying because she's tougher than everyone else.
you never know...

but if she really is low on confidence, then i think it's a good idea not to hit her excessively.

j

 

[MJS]

Hey all, I am just needing some help on teaching one of the students in my class. I'm not the instructor, but I assist in teaching all of the time and more so with the white belts. This lady has no self-confidence in herself. It's so bad that it looks like she is about to cry. I encourage her a lot and when I fix something, it's always positive. I tell her as soon as she gets something down, GREAT JOB! Just like that! Keep up the good work!
You all get the gist of things. So what I'm looking for is, is there any hope or is it a lost cause? I'm only gonna get to work with her for like 2 more months since she is here TDY, but I'd like to boost her confidence up as much as possible.

Thanks,

Chris

I'd say you're already off to a great start! People like this need to be challenged at a slow pace, otherwise, if they're overwhelmed too fast, they're going to get frustrated and upset. Even if she makes a mistake, keep doing what you're doing...tell her in a positive way.

This won't happen overnight, but IMHO, you're on the right path!

Mike

 

[agemechanic03]

Thanks MJS! I'm not going to give up. It's just that in the almost month she's been here, she hasn't really progressed with herself. I'll give it time...I'm still new to the whole teaching thing, somewhat. I should say that she is the 1st that I've had a problem with like that.

Chris

 

[still learning]

Hello, Encouragement and positive words are always recommended for EVERYONE!

Martials arts can be intimadating for any NEW person...because of lots of expectations.

We also share our past experence when we first started on "How hard it was for us and so on...

Even in group settings...one can personalize some of the training..one way is work one on one ,on the side....lot's of encouragment...

Treat the NEW people as NEW people.....

Aloha ...just want to add a few more thoughts on this..

 

[Steel Tiger]

Hey all, I am just needing some help on teaching one of the students in my class. I'm not the instructor, but I assist in teaching all of the time and more so with the white belts. This lady has no self-confidence in herself. It's so bad that it looks like she is about to cry. I encourage her a lot and when I fix something, it's always positive. I tell her as soon as she gets something down, GREAT JOB! Just like that! Keep up the good work!
You all get the gist of things. So what I'm looking for is, is there any hope or is it a lost cause? I'm only gonna get to work with her for like 2 more months since she is here TDY, but I'd like to boost her confidence up as much as possible.

Thanks,

Chris

I have noticed similar things with women I have taught. I have found that this lack of confidence often comes from not being sure of themselves and that martial arts is a way for them to test themselves. And it works! Encouragement, constructive criticism, attention to success, all work to build confidence. I have a self-defence course for women that is eight weeks long, and I usually see some definite improvement in confidence in that time.

It is about empowerment. I don't expect the women I have trained to go out and pick fights, I do expect them to go about their normal lives with more confidence and a feeling of control. so that if that ugly scenario they have been training for ever comes along they will have the confidence to think and not panic.

 

[pstarr]

One of the greatest confidence builders I've found is, oddly enough, breakfalls! Especially shoulder rolls and that kind of thing. Strange, but true.

 

[newGuy12]

I once knew a fellow student that was a middle aged woman who was very scared of these techniques and free-sparring. She would have a very worried look on her face when we free-sparred!

She told me that she was attacked in some way, and was fretful of getting hit. The way I see it, and my experience is only with that one woman, is that only time can get her over it. After some time passed, many months, I think, if I remember rightly, she would not be so worried about the contact. She showed great improvement, but was always a little bit passive in the freesparring, she would never GIVE it in a good way, she was always more defensive, preferring to block, not to attack, or better yet to counter attack.

She quit before we could see things come to fruition. Again, it takes the whole school to help each other, not just the Teacher. We all play a part in each others success! It is a "group thing".

 

[Sanchin-J]

I think for the most part its better not to allow sparring with white belts and lower level belts but to instead offer plenty of encouragement and let them build up some self confidence first. That's how we do it in our art, and it really does help quite a bit. Once they are comfortable and confident, sparring rarely instills fear in the student and they seem to look at it more as a learning experience. That's actually one of my only gripes about Sanchin-Ryu, we only get to kumite at the higher belt ranks, but then again I understand why its done this way heh.