a serious question for all

[Kacey]

I am gone but now its the bad mouthing of me and my students behind our back thats getting to me.

As difficult as that is to take, it is further proof (if you needed it) that you made the right decision. He is still trying to control you, and those around you, by making such comments.

I used to belong to a different organization, and left when my instructor did. Following that split, my instructor kept in contact with his friends who were still in the previous organization, many of whom he had known for 15 or more years. One of his friends had a party in his home, and invited the entire group, regardless of affiliation, along with other friends not in TKD... and the head of the previous organization called him in and reamed him out for having members of our organization at 'an official TKD event' (which it wasn't; it was a barbecue for a bunch of friends). This type of harrassment has been going on for years, and, slowly, the people who didn't leave when we did are leaving for other organizations, most of them split off from the same place we started, while others are simply quitting. The people who remain (at the top; the juniors know nothing about it) are either money grubbers or have been offered rank in exchange for loyalty - and even some of them are leaving.

I know it's hard to follow that when I've avoided using organization names (deliberately), but the point I'm trying to make is that the people who are worth spending time with will figure out on their own, sooner or later (hopefully sooner) that they, or others around them, are being treated with the same lack of regard that you were, and they will leave. The ones who stay regardless are the ones you wouldn't want to associate with anyway. Ignore the gossip for what it is - the rantings of a controlling egomaniac who has no other way to vent his anger that you dared leave - and maintain open contact with anyone you want to. Good luck to you and your wife.

 

[Jade Tigress]

There is a big difference between hard training and abuse.

That is absolutely correct. Abusive behavior in any situation is always unacceptable.

 

[Swordlady]

I am gone but now its the bad mouthing of me and my students behind our back thats getting to me.

I'm glad that you left that abusive environment. Don't worry about the bad-mouthing; as others have already said, it just makes it clearer just how much in the wrong this instructor was. You can't do much about it, and it will eventually die down. Best of luck to you and your students.

 

[Brandon Fisher]

Thanks all

 

[tkd_jen]

Good Luck to you Brandon!!

 

[Brandon Fisher]

thanks

 

[Ross]

Hi Brandon,

Just picked up on this thread and was appalled by your post.

There is never a need for an instructor to beat on someone till they are black and blue - In my opinion a better instructor is someone who can demonstrate without having to resort to that.

Of course there will be exceptions to this and there will have been time when we have all been clocked, but to continually do this is unacceptable.

Are they aware of the situation? I would mention this to them.

Unfortuantely, it may be a case of ego and trying to prove that something works by hitting you harder. I'd speak to the instructor and if things dont improve I'd consider a different school.

 

[Tony]

A good instructor should be sensitive to a students ailments and disabllities. Its good to train hard but not to the point where you can get seriously injured. There are many people in my class who have injuries and we have to make sure we tell my instructor if we have any so we don't make them worse! I have a friend who practices Taekwondo and has allowed himself to be treated like a peace of ****. One of the senior black belts told him his kicks were crap which i thought was not very positive. Maybe some people respond to such criticism but he should have shown my friend what he was doing wrong because he isn't very flexible because he started really late in life! If i'm told my stance is weak it is corrected for me and if one of my kicks is not right I'm shown by my instructor how to do it properly!

Find a good instructor and he will make you the best you can be but don't stay if you get abuse! You don't pay to get beaten up! You can have that done for free if you run into a big Rugby player/American Football player!

 

[Brandon Fisher]

I haven't paid for training for many years like 14 years but the suggestions you guys are making on how to teach is exactly how I teach my students. So thats a good thing to know.