Well it’s been awhile since something like that happened

[Xue Sheng]

I had a minor confrontation with a complete stranger today, very minor actually. I went into a local takeout place to get lunch and there was 6’2 inch African American gentleman arguing with the 5 foot tall asian woman behind the counter. Something about how dare she ask him if he was going to buy anything and he could stand there as long as he wanted and then saying she was only asking him that to impress all of the white people in the place and that if he wanted he could kick all their asses. Where upon he jump back and acted like he was going to hit her. She backed up and handed the phone to her coworker and I believe it is at that point they called the police. He did not hit her he stopped in posture; I believe his intent was to scare not assault. He then turns around and starts walking out and guess who he picks to get in their face….me. He asks me if he was right…is this his country or not….I told him it was his country and then he asked was I right about the rest of it or not…. I told him I was really was not listening I was ordering food.

At this point he decided to get right in my face about nose to nose and said “well how’s a white man going to learn if he doesn’t listen” We stood there staring at each other for a second or so when he backed up turned and walked away and said “I was just saying” and I watched him all the way out the door. It was at this point I realized I was likely staring at him with the same look my Sanda teacher has when training and my Xingyiquan Sifu had while standing in Santi Shi.

Heck I guess all that stance training paid off for something after all, I was using my MA training and not one single move had to be made

Anyway no violence insured and when I left the local PD already had him.

 

[Hagakure]

Mate, sounds like you handled yourself with decorum, sounds like he was probably having a bad day, that said, regardless of race, religion, colour or creed, also sounded like he was acting like a nob. I also had a terrible day at work, however, I didn't go out and feel the need to take it out on someone a foot smaller than me.

Must've shaken you up a bit either way. Either fighting, or the preparation for fighting can take it out of you.

 

[CoryKS]

Anyway no violence insured and when I left the local PD already had him.

That's certainly not going to help his cheerful disposition.

I agree w/ Hagakure, he was probably having a bad day and clerk's attitude was the last straw.

Someone ought to explain to him that there are some Asian shopkeepers who, while admirable in their entrepeneurial spirit, don't really understand or subscribe to the policy that "the customer is always right". Case in point: there's a Chinese restaurant near my office where I go with coworkers. The owner runs the cash register, and one day he berated us all for paying separately with credit cards. So the next time we went out, we respected his wishes. Oh, we used our credit cards -- but in another restaurant.

 

[Empty Hands]

Well done Xue Sheng. I'm afraid I wouldn't have handled it as well, especially with someone right in my face.

 

[SFC JeffJ]

I think he was looking for a chocolate pie recipe.

Well done Xue.

 

[CoryKS]

Well done Xue Sheng. I'm afraid I wouldn't have handled it as well, especially with someone right in my face.

Me neither. Well done, XS.

 

[Carol]

Good on ya Xue, Good on ya.

An incident like that...I can see why its described as "very minor". Phyically it was not very dramatic.

However, I really think things like that are a pretty big deal. There is no question that you prevented something worse from happening. Y

eah, maybe the big dude was just posturing...unless something else happened that ticked him off more. Or, maybe someone else would have joined in that didn't have the cool head that you did, with results that weren't as pretty.

Its a subtle use of skills, but still a use of skills nonetheless...with perhaps the best possible outcome. No injuries to rehab, nothing to explain to the police, nothing that would have gotten your name in the paper in an uncomfortable way. Excellent excellent job. :asian:

 

[Aiki Lee]

Nice job. If it were me I'd likely have done something shameful like chastise him for his behavior which likely would have caused an incident. You're a more patient man than I. You have my respect.

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

Hey Xue glad you are okay!

 

[myusername]

From your post it reads like he made the mistake of picking on the wrong person and on his secondary assessment he realised it! Hence him walking off. Well done for handling yourself perfectly.

 

[stickarts]

wow! Glad it didn't escalate further. good job.

 

[Cirdan]

Good job indeed. I believe that is what we call the "don`t F with me" effect of just standing there relaxed but balanced and rooted and with an even stare. A subtle thing but very real.

 

[JadecloudAlchemist]

It was at this point I realized I was likely staring at him with the same look my Sanda teacher has when training and my Xingyiquan Sifu had while standing in Santi Shi.

Sounds like your spirit was strong and determined which can defeat any opponent.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

We stood there staring at each other for a second or so when he backed up turned and walked away and said “I was just saying” and I watched him all the way out the door. It was at this point I realized I was likely staring at him with the same look my Sanda teacher has when training and my Xingyiquan Sifu had while standing in Santi Shi.

Heck I guess all that stance training paid off for something after all, I was using my MA training and not one single move had to be made

I'm glad no one was injured. I have a question for you, though. I wasn't there, so I'm not capable of judging, but was the 'stare' necessary? What would have happened if you had dropped your gaze and let him 'win' the verbal jousting?

I was thinking that a 'bad stare' can certainly escalate tension and increase the chances that violence will ensue. That it did not seems to me to mean that the person evaluated you as a threat and decided he did not like the odds - but he might not have been capable of making such a rational decision, or he might not have cared, or he might have thought he could beat you. Then you would have had to defend yourself.

A person running his mouth in the manner you describe is frightening, but it seems he could have gone either way with regards to escalating into violence. Could there have been other ways to defuse the situation?

 

[kidswarrior]

I had a minor confrontation with a complete stranger today, very minor actually.

I'm thinking it was only minor because you happened in at the right time (yeah, I said right ).

Heck I guess all that stance training paid off for something after all, I was using my MA training and not one single move had to be made

Anyway no violence insured and when I left the local PD already had him.

A great example for me of how to answer the perennial question, Have you ever used your MA's training? You used it in the best way possible. :bangahead:

Glad you're OK.

 

[shesulsa]

Sometimes just the willingness to make eye contact, not break it, not flinch with calm assuredness is enough to make the biggest fake turn tail and run.

Xue, I'm all about doing as little as necessary, but I don't know if even *I* could let someone get right up in my face like that and retain my full composure.

If he were nose-to-nose with you, then you must also be a big guy. I know someone else like this. He's intimidating even when he doesn't want to be.

Glad you're okay.

 

[Drac]

Bravo old buddy...I would not have been as nice or polite as you..

 

[jks9199]

Well done, Xue.

You handled the situation with exactly the level of force you needed; an active presence that wasn't going to tolerate the crap.

But, as an aside... Strictly speaking, the guy already committed an assault. Assault is any act which puts another in reasonable fear of imminent battery, the offensive touch.

 

[Xue Sheng]

I'm glad no one was injured. I have a question for you, though. I wasn't there, so I'm not capable of judging, but was the 'stare' necessary? What would have happened if you had dropped your gaze and let him 'win' the verbal jousting?

I was thinking that a 'bad stare' can certainly escalate tension and increase the chances that violence will ensue. That it did not seems to me to mean that the person evaluated you as a threat and decided he did not like the odds - but he might not have been capable of making such a rational decision, or he might not have cared, or he might have thought he could beat you. Then you would have had to defend yourself.

A person running his mouth in the manner you describe is frightening, but it seems he could have gone either way with regards to escalating into violence. Could there have been other ways to defuse the situation?

To answer your question, and I am truly not trying to be hokey here, but I don't know, there was really no thought. What I have been training most of late appeared to have taken over.

More on this in the next post.

 

[Xue Sheng]

Thanks everybody it has been awhile since I have been in anything like this, but to be honest I fully believe that just about every one of you could have handled it the same or better.

I’m not sure I should even post this and I am not trying to sound tough or like I think I am a master of anything because I am most certainly not either but all I can really say is that of late I have been doing a lot of Xingyiquan stance training and Xingyiquan Neigong and after much thought about this little incident (more than it likely deserves actually) I feel that is what took over. My stance, when he was right up in my face, can be best described as similar to Wuji and my stare was likely much the same I have seen in my last Xingyiquan Sifu when he was in Santi Shi (one of the stances), which is also something I have been training a lot lately. I also had absolutely no thought of anything or anyone other than the guy in front of me at that moment and I was incredibly relaxed.

But this is what surprises me actually, in a career I had many moons ago I got into a lot of confrontations and I remember being not at all relaxed and thinking a lot in the beginning, of course thinking goes out the door as things progress and training takes over, but this time there was nothing just me and him nose to nose and looking directly at each other. To be honest I have heard the sayings “no thought” and “form is emptiness and emptiness is form” but I am not exactly sure that had anything to do with it and if it did I am not exactly sure if it is a good thing or not to be that calm and relaxed and not thinking about anything. I guess the only thing I can say is that if we are talking Zen I was most certainly in the moment and I am incredibly happy that it went no further than it did.

Again Thanks everybody :asian: