This thread is a joke

Thesemindz

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So I've been thinking about going into work for myself as a freelance crime fighter. I've had extensive training in several martial arts as well as a variety of weapons, and I think I could do a lot of good, while making a fair bit of money at the same time.

I spent some time back in the seventies with special forces, don't bother asking, most of the stuff I did the government doesn't want you to know about, and I'm ready to put some of those old skills to good use.

I see a lot of criminal activity in my city. You know, skinheads, crips, bloods, yakuza, russian mob, middle eastern terrorists, that kind of thing. I always carry throwing stars hidden on my body, as well as several hand guns. That way I'm ready for anything. I think I'm going to start offering protection to the local business owners at a reasonable rate. I'm sure that they'll be willing to pay for my expert skills in order to defend themselves against this gang activity.

In preparation for this, I've purchased some night vision gear online, as well as body armor and several chemical repellants. I'm planning to design and manufacture my own line of defensive outfits which can be both functional and terrifying to the enemy. I'm thinking about combining elements of military combat fatigues with a dragon motif.

I've also been scouting around some of the higher crime areas of town lately so I can prepare a regular route to patrol. I've been considering roof patrols, but most of our downtown buildings are too low to the ground, so I'll probably just stick to the shadows. With my special forces training, I'll be practically invisible.

So if anyone has any suggestions as to some good gear to add to my arsenal let me know. Also, I'm taking applications for side kicks, so if your interested, pm me.
 

CDKJudoka

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.

I see a lot of criminal activity in my city. You know, skinheads, crips, bloods, yakuza, russian mob, middle eastern terrorists, that kind of thing. I always carry throwing stars hidden on my body, as well as several hand guns. That way I'm ready for anything. I think I'm going to start offering protection to the local business owners at a reasonable rate. I'm sure that they'll be willing to pay for my expert skills in order to defend themselves against this gang activity.

This looks a lot like extortion to me. Where can I sign up to be your sidekick!!
 

Carol

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Sorry my friend, I have too much on my plate to be out fighting crime....as much as I'd love to do it. :( :(

However, should you work your way to New England, I can introduce you to a local crimefighting squad...The League of Extraordinary Jesuits. :D

[yt]XXdIqSHxIBk[/yt]
 

searcher

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I can help you with your crimefighting, if you can make the BGs come by my house between the hours of 8:30 and 10:00 on Friday or Saturday nights. Have them line up and I can hit them with a stick for a while.
:whip:





The rest is up to you.
 

seasoned

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Sorry my friend, I have too much on my plate to be out fighting crime....as much as I'd love to do it. :( :(

However, should you work your way to New England, I can introduce you to a local crimefighting squad...The League of Extraordinary Jesuits. :D

[yt]XXdIqSHxIBk[/yt]
I don't know Carol, you may have to much time on your hands.
icon7.gif
 

Carol

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Nah. I'm just an adept multitasker...LOL.
 

JadecloudAlchemist

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Try not to put nipples on your armour it was a terrible idea for Batman.

Try not to choose a teenage boy as a side kick who wears short shorts
or all the villians will snicker at you.

Always keep a genius who can invent stuff because chances are he will have the irony to make something that you will need on that particular day just look at James Bond and Q.


Always rescue the girl and give some witty romantic remark it will add mystique.

And last when ever you are fighting make sure to make some sort of lame joke such as "I get a real kick outta you" or " thirsty how about some punch"
 
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Thesemindz

Thesemindz

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You need to study books by he whose name is not spoken but he is a master Ninja

and you need one of these

I think I know who you are referring to. He was with that other one at that thing we can't discuss.

Make sure to talk in code from now on though, we don't want anyone to guess his cover.


-Rob
 

Gordon Nore

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Also, I'm taking applications for side kicks, so if your interested, pm me.

Sorry, dude. I'm just now making a career change of my own -- to criminal genius! We work in different cities, but maybe we'll meet up a convention.

Muhuhahahahaha
 

Blindside

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Sorry, dude. I'm just now making a career change of my own -- to criminal genius! We work in different cities, but maybe we'll meet up a convention.

Muhuhahahahaha

Lets face it, the pay has to be better and chicks always dig the bad boy.
 

Daniel Sullivan

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So I've been thinking about going into work for myself as a freelance crime fighter. I've had extensive training in several martial arts as well as a variety of weapons, and I think I could do a lot of good, while making a fair bit of money at the same time.

I spent some time back in the seventies with special forces, don't bother asking, most of the stuff I did the government doesn't want you to know about, and I'm ready to put some of those old skills to good use.

I see a lot of criminal activity in my city. You know, skinheads, crips, bloods, yakuza, russian mob, middle eastern terrorists, that kind of thing. I always carry throwing stars hidden on my body, as well as several hand guns. That way I'm ready for anything. I think I'm going to start offering protection to the local business owners at a reasonable rate. I'm sure that they'll be willing to pay for my expert skills in order to defend themselves against this gang activity.

In preparation for this, I've purchased some night vision gear online, as well as body armor and several chemical repellants. I'm planning to design and manufacture my own line of defensive outfits which can be both functional and terrifying to the enemy. I'm thinking about combining elements of military combat fatigues with a dragon motif.

I've also been scouting around some of the higher crime areas of town lately so I can prepare a regular route to patrol. I've been considering roof patrols, but most of our downtown buildings are too low to the ground, so I'll probably just stick to the shadows. With my special forces training, I'll be practically invisible.

So if anyone has any suggestions as to some good gear to add to my arsenal let me know. Also, I'm taking applications for side kicks, so if your interested, pm me.
I suggest that you use your time travel ability. After all, your profile reads that you're twenty seven, which means that you were born in eighty two, but somehow, you managed to do special forces in the seventies! Wow! Use this time altering ability to stop crimes before they happen.

Daniel
 
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Thesemindz

Thesemindz

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I suggest that you use your time travel ability. After all, your profile reads that you're twenty seven, which means that you were born in eighty two, but somehow, you managed to do special forces in the seventies! Wow! Use this time altering ability to stop crimes before they happen.

Daniel

Actually my friends in the military might have that kind of technology, of course I can't confirm or deny that. Suffice it to say that anything you read in my profile may or may not be true, just as anything I post in this thread may or may not be true. I really can't say any more than that.

On a seperate note, I'm thinking about carrying multiple sawed off shotguns loaded with slugs for crime fighting. The kind of criminals we see out here aren't easily intimidated, but I'm thinking if they see one of their buddies blown away it might teach them the error of their ways.

I'm concerned that only carrying two wouldn't be sufficient though, because I don't want to have to reload in the heat of battle, so I'm thinking about carrying six. I think that will be enough to take care of anything short of well coordinated squadron style tactics, which I don't expect to face until the gangs begin to learn of my activities.


-Rob
 

Tez3

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Slugs are a nasty weapon to use, they cover you in slime and look at you with those horrible eye things on stalks. You'd have to be careful carrying six of them though, they are unpredictable and could gang up and over power you. I'm guessing though you're a trained slug handler though.

 

zDom

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I would suggest a thick Austrian accent. Australian might also work.

But DON'T pick up the French accent by accident. Hard to be intimidating. Just trying saying "Hamburger" with a French accent, for example. Very difficult.
 

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