The journey maybe be over

terryl965

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After forty something years of training I am seriously thinking about giving it up and letting my wife and others BB run the school. I believe this is best for the growth of the school. I tens to be too hard and too particular with every single movement. We have more people showing up for her classes and my other BB classes than mine. I still have my BB thqat come and then only 5 of the other students, everybody else says it is too hard for them and I require to much.

I gues I am venting because the journey of martial arts is for perfection which we know can never be. It is the lifetime of trainig to relize just haw low the expectation of the majority of people really are, they want everything handed to them and not to be pushed. For a commercial to make it you must have aftercare programs, summer camps, BB clubs, weapons clubs, fee;s for this and fee's for that. This has never been me and I just cannot bring mself to do it. So if I take a back seat and let the wife and a few BB run all these programs we will become what I do not want but for the school to stay we maust bring it in. What a delimma and how to figure out what to do.
 

grydth

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I can't tell you how to take life, but can offer an example...

Please consider it is only the successful and esteemed leader who even has such a decision to make.

My daughters' dojo is run more by the 5th dan wife than the 6th dan shihan husband. This is more due, I think, to occupational and family needs. (She is also much harder on students). It is a blend and a transition that they have made work. She is there all the time; he is clearly enjoying the part time role of dean emeritus. Your dojo can make this work - you can all be happy. You may find yourself with time to devote to larger dojo and MA issues that daily trivia have prevented in the past.

Take a look at whether this can be a positive transition, and an ultimately good thing for all.
 
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terryl965

terryl965

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I can't tell you how to take life, but can offer an example...

Please consider it is only the successful and esteemed leader who even has such a decision to make.

My daughters' dojo is run more by the 5th dan wife than the 6th dan shihan husband. This is more due, I think, to occupational and family needs. (She is also much harder on students). It is a blend and a transition that they have made work. She is there all the time; he is clearly enjoying the part time role of dean emeritus. Your dojo can make this work - you can all be happy. You may find yourself with time to devote to larger dojo and MA issues that daily trivia have prevented in the past.

Take a look at whether this can be a positive transition, and an ultimately good thing for all.


Thanks you know I am a hands on guy and always have been. So this is hard for me to take at this point, maybe time has just been passing me by or my elusion is just getting more shaddy.
 

IcemanSK

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I wish I had wisdom for you, but I don't. I can imagine this is a tough time for you. I would encourage you to not make any quick decisions about your role in the school. You're in my prayers as you look at this situation.:asian:
 
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terryl965

terryl965

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I wish I had wisdom for you, but I don't. I can imagine this is a tough time for you. I would encourage you to not make any quick decisions about your role in the school. You're in my prayers as you look at this situation.:asian:

This has been going on for several months and I never make a quick decission about anything. Thank you for the kind words, maybe I will learn how to set behind a chair and look good and just worry about the one class.
 

Sukerkin

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It's trite I know but in the end it is a decision that only you can make, my friend.

It is of course complicated by the fact that it is not a decison that affects just yourself. Your relationship with your wife, the health of the school and the needs of your students also factor in to the equation, thus making a hard choice even harder.

One thing to perhaps consider is that a change in 'operations' need not be a permanent one. If it does not work out as anticipated you can always either revert to how things are now or try something else entirely.
 
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terryl965

terryl965

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It's trite I know but in the end it is a decision that only you can make, my friend.

It is of course complicated by the fact that it is not a decison that affects just yourself. Your relationship with your wife, the health of the school and the needs of your students also factor in to the equation, thus making a hard choice even harder.

One thing to perhaps consider is that a change in 'operations' need not be a permanent one. If it does not work out as anticipated you can always either revert to how things are now or try something else entirely.

Thank you for I myself have not taken the time to relize I can always go back to the old ways.:asian:
 

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Terry, It took me a long time to understand that some people are in martial arts for a workout, or social interaction, or whatever. One of the reasons I never opened my own dojo is because I tend to expect my students to share my passion for the art and want to work hard, understand the techniques and get them right, and not all of them will, and that's frustrating to both them and me. Maybe instead of teaching classes every day to whoever shows up, you can consider creating a master class, for students who show the discipline and aptitude. You can keep it small and elite, and it frees you up to take care of other school business. Whatever you decide, I wish you sucess and happiness.
 

Sukerkin

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Great minds and all that, Tom :D. I thought much the same thing. After all, I can't be the only practitioner who wants a sensei who expects me to live up to his standards ... can I :)?
 

IcemanSK

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My 1st master did something that made others want to follow his example without saying, "you need to do it this way."

Before class, or even when another BB was leading class, he would go off in the corner & throw side kicks at the mirror. He didn't do anything to draw attention to himself & would tell us to pay attention to the one leading class, if we talked to him. (He had an excellent side kick) By doing this, he made many of us want to do our side kicks like his. At an appropriate time, we'd ask how to do a better side kick. The next class would be a brutally tough old-school class around the side kick. During the class he'd say things like, "it takes a lot of hard work to have a good side kick" & "this kind of training makes for a good side kick."

My point is, he made us want what he had in his techniques first & then showed us what it takes to get there. Perhaps you could "wet the appetite" of your students in a similiar way.
 

morph4me

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Great minds and all that, Tom :D. I thought much the same thing. After all, I can't be the only practitioner who wants a sensei who expects me to live up to his standards ... can I :)?

Not the only one, but one of relatively few, unfortunately.
 

Brian R. VanCise

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You know Terry this is a chance for Yolanda and your other BB's to grow and become teacher's. That is a good thing and also very positive for them. I would let them teach and you can also focus on teaching certain things and then teach privates to students. That way everyone wins! Maybe then you can also start doing monthly intensives at your school and generate some interest in other areas of your expertise. Just a couple of random thoughts from your friend up here in the cold white north!
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Rich Parsons

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After forty something years of training I am seriously thinking about giving it up and letting my wife and others BB run the school. I believe this is best for the growth of the school. I tens to be too hard and too particular with every single movement. We have more people showing up for her classes and my other BB classes than mine. I still have my BB thqat come and then only 5 of the other students, everybody else says it is too hard for them and I require to much.

I gues I am venting because the journey of martial arts is for perfection which we know can never be. It is the lifetime of trainig to relize just haw low the expectation of the majority of people really are, they want everything handed to them and not to be pushed. For a commercial to make it you must have aftercare programs, summer camps, BB clubs, weapons clubs, fee;s for this and fee's for that. This has never been me and I just cannot bring mself to do it. So if I take a back seat and let the wife and a few BB run all these programs we will become what I do not want but for the school to stay we maust bring it in. What a delimma and how to figure out what to do.


Terry,

I understand you issue.

You know that if it is not fun and enoyable people will not come. Yet, you have knowledge to share and you want to share it so others can know what you know.

I would not change. I would continue to offer your knowledge to those who wish to learn. It sounds like you have some Black Belts who wish to continue with you. There is nothing wrong with that PhD who has problems teaching freshman but gets along just fine with other PhD's and other serious students for a PhD.

It is your choice. I mean you can stop teaching just like anyone else. I just presented a comment of mine to give you something to think about while you decide.

I wish you the best.


Thanks
 

martialartspeon

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Having others fill in for you is crucial for your schools growth. Let them take the reigns and hold some of the burdens and rewards. If I were in your shoes just because you are contemplating it would make me thing it is worth giving it a try. Maybe you should end up focusing on specific specialty classes and teachings for the more hardcore and devoted students.
 

Xue Sheng

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After forty something years of training I am seriously thinking about giving it up and letting my wife and others BB run the school. I believe this is best for the growth of the school. I tens to be too hard and too particular with every single movement. We have more people showing up for her classes and my other BB classes than mine. I still have my BB thqat come and then only 5 of the other students, everybody else says it is too hard for them and I require to much.

I gues I am venting because the journey of martial arts is for perfection which we know can never be. It is the lifetime of trainig to relize just haw low the expectation of the majority of people really are, they want everything handed to them and not to be pushed. For a commercial to make it you must have aftercare programs, summer camps, BB clubs, weapons clubs, fee;s for this and fee's for that. This has never been me and I just cannot bring mself to do it. So if I take a back seat and let the wife and a few BB run all these programs we will become what I do not want but for the school to stay we maust bring it in. What a delimma and how to figure out what to do.

Terry

I wish I had something to say that was going to make it better but I too believe that many that come to the arts today are not really interested in working hard to understand them. And my wife has told me on many occasions when the possibility of teaching again popped up that I need to be less serious or I will have no students and most recently I was told by many of my taiji sifu's class they were much happier now that I was not there since I wanted the forms correct and push hands stressed.

All I can say is that you can't save the style but you can preserve a corner of it and I hope you still keep trying to teach those that REALLY want to learn if you quit all together I feel, based on what I have read of your posts on MT, that it would be a great loss to TKD and a win for those less interested in teaching it than selling it.
 

jks9199

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You know Terry this is a chance for Yolanda and your other BB's to grow and become teacher's. That is a good thing and also very positive for them. I would let them teach and you can also focus on teaching certain things and then teach privates to students. That way everyone wins! Maybe then you can also start doing monthly intensives at your school and generate some interest in other areas of your expertise. Just a couple of random thoughts from your friend up here in the cold white north!
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This is very much like what I was going to suggest.

Not every student wants or is ready for strict training with lots of correction. Maybe you need to focus your personal instruction on those students, letting Yolanda and the others handle the routine classes.

(And maybe you should consider attending their classes occasionally as a student. It may be that something you're doing is changeable.)
 

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Terry,

IMO, if you stop, it will be the martial arts worlds loss. In this day and age of fast fix type of training, people like you are sorely needed.

Im sure you want your school to prosper, so do what you must in that regards.. however, the martial arts needs it stalwarts, those that will go against current trends, question the docterines and have the qualifications/training to be taken seriously and remind us all of the worth of the hard long journey and what it all really means... that is you my friend.

So 95% of people dont value the older ways anymore.. their loss I'd say, train the other 5% to carry on your legacy.

In short, do what you must for the business side of your school, but dont quit teaching for the martial arts side of it all!

Besides, I dont think you can quit.. not totally, as martial arts is in your blood as much as the red and white cells are.. change your role (remembering the old martial arts docterine that a tree bends with the wind, but does not break), do special hard core classes, do whatever, but dont quit!

Stuart

Ps. Anyway, you'd have to hand in your resignation to PioneerTKD and Im sory to inform you in advance that we wont accept it!! :)
 

bluekey88

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That's atough dilemma terry. I was going to suggest you turn your class into a "Master's class" repackage it to be somethin gonly for the "elite" and make it something people will clamor to be in. Keep doing what you do but change the ackaing and marketing up a little.

However, I see this was already proposed by like minded individuals.

In the end, talk with you wife, make the best decision you can make...stick to what you beleive in...in the end, you need to be able to look at yourslef in the mirror and be able to live with this decision.

I'm pulling for ay no matter what.

Peace,
Erik
 

garrisons2

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Terry

We can evade reality, but we cannot evade the consequences of evading reality. - Ayn Rand


With that quote in mind, I wholeheartedly agree with the notion that more and more people want something for less and less effort. My vote is to continue to stay involved and dedicated to people that want to work hard and get a sense of achievement. Create a "leadership" program, perhaps with seperate, more distinct uniforms for those who say, yes I am willing to sacrifice to get better. Good luck


Good luck


Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.
-Chinese Proverb
 

hkfuie

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If I were one of those 6 or so students that was on your class, it would kill me to lose it.

I drive an hour to train in a class that sounds like yours. The few in your class must surely VALUE deeply what you do.

Reading your post and the replies has been very meaningful to me. I feel I walk against the current in martial arts and especially TKD, so I find myself pleased and honored to be in your company here and with the people I see on this board.

I hope you find what is right for you.

I think your students, few though they may be, are very lucky.
 
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