Maybe it is time to leave

[terryl965]

I have been in Martial Arts for over forty years and I do believe it is time for me to get out. With all the BS that goes with running a school and trying to make everyone happy, I am mesible. I do not know what to do but sell the school and maybe start a private one a little smaller for those that wish to train without all the BS of running a school. One of the things is with the USAT and what they aredoing, others things are people for whatever reason are not devoted to traing like they once was. For meI was loyal with my instructor and never talked back, today is the way of kiddie childcare, BB in about 18 months ad then the best forlast twenty year old Masters please Master of what beingable to get dress, when I was younger most Master was in there forty, today they are in there early twenty and they believe thy know everything. Hell they cannot even remember all there stuff but are Master of wha sport TLD, that is not a Master but a fraud.

I know another rant but after my lst night converstation with some of my parents maybe my time has come and gone and I forgot to get off. Some of them want the class to be more fun for everyone and I said we have early classes for that and was told that a few of my BB agree that the one class I do needs to be slower and more relaxe, well if I do that then why stay and teach anybody. As it is I only teach my fight team and adult class s I teach 2 hours of the 7 hours we are open. It seem like nobod want to really learn but ratherare content with memorizing forms and mevements and they do not really care about learning actual techniqus.

Anybody else goes though this or has done though it. My school and I am trying to understand if it is a couple of my BB putting this into people heads or is it really time forold timers to bow out for the youngers ones.

 

[arnisador]

Take heart that many people feel that way after 40 years of doing anything. My internist is very tired of medicine and all the BS that comes with managed care. (Luckily he is still a full professional when on the job.) You see it in senior teachers all the time--40 years of teaching The Catcher in the Rye will do that to you.

Is it possible for you to take a year's leave to refresh yourself? Study something just for you and come back excited about sharing it--a sabbatical from the school? Come to Terre Haute and I'll teach you arnis!

 

[jim777]

I wish I knew what to tell you, but I believe a lack of a good instructor can't be made up for by 'fun in class' or anything else. If you take the Discipline, and Integrity out of the classes what do you have left?

If I might humbly think out loud here for a minute Master, I think you're basically left with two choices; if you want to get out, sell the school and do something that makes you happy. Happiness is under rated If you don't want to get out, then you need to make sure the other instructors in the school are lined up behind you, following your guidance and your way of doing things. Get them together and hold a meeting and straighten everyone out who might be leaning in a direction you are not. Change is coming regardless, it would seem. Make it the change you really want and don't regret it.

jim

 

[Twin Fist]

Terry,
maybe it might help if you start being a student instead of the Master. When I started kajukembo, I felt refreshed, because i was learning again, and it made me a better teacher because i was more aware of my body.

Plus, it made my attitude better, and that is infectious.

seriously, give it some thought.

 

[Twin Fist]

And there is nothing wrong with downsizing, and going back to a hardcore only no one under 8 program, but you wont make a living at it.

 

[miguksaram]

I have been down this road before. I can tell you that it may seem like less pressure to get out, but after a while...maybe a couple months maybe a year...you will start to miss it and, if you were like me get depressed because of not being able to do it (that was only after 1 month.) Sometimes you need a break, perhaps a 2 weeks where you don't do anything martial arts related. Lord knows it helped me when I was in Korea for 2 weeks with my in-laws just hiking and sight seeing.

TF is correct too in that perhaps, exploring a new art and becoming a student again will rekindle that fire that you have for martial arts. Don't let the USAT and other political BS deter you from doing what you love. When you first fell in love with martial arts was it because of the organization or the art itself? Sometimes you just have to take a minute and reflect on what it was you loved about it. Good luck in whatever decision you make.

 

[jks9199]

Terry,
maybe it might help if you start being a student instead of the Master. When I started kajukembo, I felt refreshed, because i was learning again, and it made me a better teacher because i was more aware of my body.

Plus, it made my attitude better, and that is infectious.

seriously, give it some thought.

I think this is a good idea.

Take a sabbatical, like a college professor might. Spend it learning something different -- maybe not even a martial art! If you go to that extreme, train just enough to maintain your skills and fitness. Use the sabbatical as a teaching moment for your students, too. You're not stopping training, you're changing your focus to refresh your training.

As I recall, much of the instruction at your school is currently handled by your black belts and your wife, anyway. So don't even show up at the school more than once a week or so, and maybe for significant promotions/gradings.

 

[stickarts]

Taking a break might help, or, finding a new focus. Think about the things that do really excite you. How can you start to apply that in a new way? We all need change from time to time. This is just a signal that you need a change. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to get out all together. Maybe you can just find a new way to be a part of it all.

 

[Carol]

Terry,

Some years back when I was just getting to know you, you had told us about a man that gave you an offer for your school. Other people gave you some ideas. I didn't, because i didn't know you very well...and I was much never in the arts.

Now, I've had the pleasure of sharing the mat with you, your wife, and your sons. You're an excellent teacher, and you impressed my teacher too.

You've been in the arts for 40 years, I've been in for....about 4 years and I haven't earned any rank higher than 8th Kyu or equivalent. I really don't have a feel for what it is like to be a teacher, or to run a school, I'm sure it has its challenges.

But as a student, I think it would be a terrible loss if you hung it up for good. Like Twin Fist says...maybe you need a change. Maybe you need a break. Maybe you need a new project. Maybe you need something that is a bit further away from "But Master So and So down the street promotes faster" or whatever.

I'd also encourage you to think of your health as well. I know you've had some challenges, I have too. But training helps with many of these challenges, and I'd be worried that you might struggle more if you weren't active every day.

I'm very glad to have you as a friend, and I will continue to be your friend no matter what choice you take. But I hope its not a permanent goodbye to the arts. ((( hugs )))

 

[DMcHenry]

Terry I'm with you. I've basically retired and only have 1 regular dedicated student I still teach, others I work with on a 1 off basis. I still attend seminars, but as for general teaching in a regular class situation - I've retired. This way I'm still involved but doing it for fun. (I have a full-time day job, didn't teach for a living)

Good luck,
Mac

 

[terryl965]

Take heart that many people feel that way after 40 years of doing anything. My internist is very tired of medicine and all the BS that comes with managed care. (Luckily he is still a full professional when on the job.) You see it in senior teachers all the time--40 years of teaching The Catcher in the Rye will do that to you.

Is it possible for you to take a year's leave to refresh yourself? Study something just for you and come back excited about sharing it--a sabbatical from the school? Come to Terre Haute and I'll teach you arnis!

Arni I would love for you to teach me, but family will not allow that. I have taken time off before. This time something is different about it, I feel well hell I do not know what I feel. Just that I am tired but I love to teach.

 

[terryl965]

I wish I knew what to tell you, but I believe a lack of a good instructor can't be made up for by 'fun in class' or anything else. If you take the Discipline, and Integrity out of the classes what do you have left?

If I might humbly think out loud here for a minute Master, I think you're basically left with two choices; if you want to get out, sell the school and do something that makes you happy. Happiness is under rated If you don't want to get out, then you need to make sure the other instructors in the school are lined up behind you, following your guidance and your way of doing things. Get them together and hold a meeting and straighten everyone out who might be leaning in a direction you are not. Change is coming regardless, it would seem. Make it the change you really want and don't regret it.

jim

Jim I do have a meeting schedule with everybody and will take to heart what you have said. Thank you.:asian:

 

[terryl965]

Terry,
maybe it might help if you start being a student instead of the Master. When I started kajukembo, I felt refreshed, because i was learning again, and it made me a better teacher because i was more aware of my body.

Plus, it made my attitude better, and that is infectious.

seriously, give it some thought.

Thanks I will consider that, doing something a few night might help.

 

[celtic_crippler]

I understand your frustration with the political BS. On my profile under organizations it says "currently unaffiliated" for a reason.

I now teach only a very few dedicated students, all adult, and am much happier.

I'm not saying you should do the same, but it sounds like you're pretty sick of th political BS too. Whatever you decide, just remember it's not the art itself that has you feeling this way.

 

[terryl965]

Terry,

Some years back when I was just getting to know you, you had told us about a man that gave you an offer for your school. Other people gave you some ideas. I didn't, because i didn't know you very well...and I was much never in the arts.

Now, I've had the pleasure of sharing the mat with you, your wife, and your sons. You're an excellent teacher, and you impressed my teacher too.

You've been in the arts for 40 years, I've been in for....about 4 years and I haven't earned any rank higher than 8th Kyu or equivalent. I really don't have a feel for what it is like to be a teacher, or to run a school, I'm sure it has its challenges.

But as a student, I think it would be a terrible loss if you hung it up for good. Like Twin Fist says...maybe you need a change. Maybe you need a break. Maybe you need a new project. Maybe you need something that is a bit further away from "But Master So and So down the street promotes faster" or whatever.

I'd also encourage you to think of your health as well. I know you've had some challenges, I have too. But training helps with many of these challenges, and I'd be worried that you might struggle more if you weren't active every day.

I'm very glad to have you as a friend, and I will continue to be your friend no matter what choice you take. But I hope its not a permanent goodbye to the arts. ((( hugs )))

Carol thank for the input and right now I am about to get teary eyed, you see what I know is the Arts have been apart of my life since I could walk, it is what I know and love but for some strange reason I am not having fun anymore. That is what worries me no fun, too many people complain and want everything to change to make them happy. MA will always be a big part of my life and my family. Thank you for the kind words.:asian:

 

[Flying Crane]

Only teach to those who value it, and who share a similar vision that you have. You just won't be able to make your living doing it.

 

[clfsean]

Terry... I've been around a bit, but not as long as you. I've seen the same things happens to schools I've been involved with over the years. It happened at one I was teaching at & helped the school get through the bumps. Old people changed out, new people came in, the teacher went & saved his sanity by picking up something new for him to do. The school is still going strong & I'm long gone from it.

But you're kinda like me & others here that have been around a while. You've got the benefit of experience & years under your belt that quite honestly can't afford to be lost because people want to get touchy feely. Also you can't afford to be lost because you're not catering to soccer moms in the dojang. I'm about to remove kids from my classes even though it may cut down the few students I have. I'm not teaching for $$$ I'm teaching to teach those who would learn & I've found kids just don't want to most of the time & I'm not so good at pandering to the parents.

Take a break definately, but lay your plans out ahead of time. Have a "Come to Jesus" meeting with your staff. Go look around at something else that may be fun or interesting to you to study. Maybe you will sell the school, maybe not. Maybe you should only teach a "master class" once a month for a bit. Who knows... there's a myriad of options available.

The one thing that's not an option IMHO is removing yourself from the teaching pool. You've still got too much to offer the people who are willing to learn.

 

[Kacey]

Terry, I've been in TKD barely half as long as you have, and there are times (and have been for years) when I show up to teach or train because someone else is expecting me to be there. I've had students leave because their parents felt I wasn't "providing the nurturing my child requires" (and who comes to a TKD class for "nurturing" anyway?); I had an adult student leave because I pulled her from a match after she was knocked down 3 times in 57 seconds, could barely get up the third time, and, in her own words "you made me lose 1st place" (never mind that she'd have left on a stretcher if she'd stayed), and her boyfriend (they met in class) left with her, after telling me he felt that class was too goal-directed/belt oriented, and then complaining that he hadn't gotten his I Dan testing paperwork yet - I'm still trying to figure out how he missed the contradiction in that one.

I know people who got tired of the politics and the parents and the general crap - and they were usually the ones who were the best teachers, with the highest standards, the best students - and some came back, usually as independents, and some didn't. Some of the ones who came back are still back; some aren't. The ones who didn't come back were a great loss to the TKD community; their knowledge and experience gone because they were no longer passing it on. If you do, ultimately, decide to retire completely, your loss will be felt throughout the TKD community and their loss was felt.

You do a lot that goes beyond just teaching - traveling, competition, and so on - and that takes a toll, on you, on your family, on your students - and only you can decide if the rewards are worth the cost. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you do it because it is the best choice for you, and not because it's what you think others want you to do. Good luck to you, whatever you ultimately decide.

 

[KELLYG]

I could not imagine the extent of BS that has to be tolerated by Masters that are School owners. From what I read in and between the lines of the OP I don't think that the love of Martial Arts is in question but how to handle the day to day stuff that has to get done to keep the school running and profitable. How about hiring an office manager? This person can field all the BS that is so distasteful and leave you free to teach in peace!

 

[Flying Crane]

But you're kinda like me & others here that have been around a while. You've got the benefit of experience & years under your belt that quite honestly can't afford to be lost because people want to get touchy feely. Also you can't afford to be lost because you're not catering to soccer moms in the dojang. I'm about to remove kids from my classes even though it may cut down the few students I have. I'm not teaching for $$$ I'm teaching to teach those who would learn & I've found kids just don't want to most of the time & I'm not so good at pandering to the parents.

A very good post here, and I'll relate an example from my own recent experience.

I've been training with my sifu for over eleven years. He teaches in a fairly commercial setting, but most of his students are middle-aged and older taiji students, or younger Modern Wushu people. A very few students, like myself, are interested in solid traditional kung fu. He can provide this instruction and he does, but he also has a busy schedule with his taiji and wushu students.

He recently introduced me to his uncle, who was one of his first teachers over 40 years ago in traditional kung fu. His uncle has kept 4 students who are now his disciples who have been with him for decades, and no others. He closed his school many years ago and teaches his four disciples in his back yard. He has avoided taking new students for years because he was not interested in compromising his standards. He has been more content to focus on a small group of people who are committed to learning the system the right way, than propagating it to a large group of people who will mostly get it all wrong.

His uncle agreed to accept me as his student. I'm the first new student in quite a few years, and will probably be the last.

While he refuses to make his teaching available to the masses, he nevertheless is teaching the dedicated few, and I am privileged to have been accepted into this very small group. The art must be passed along, but it must be done right. It's impossible to do with a large group. You can't maintain the quality control with a large group. You can't keep high standards, and you've got to be willing to lose students who aren't capable of working to a high standard. Those students will get frustrated and leave, and you've got to be OK with that possibility. But if your financial livlihood depends on having many paying students, the business won't allow it.

I think you may be ready to take a similar position with your teaching. You've spent decades serving the masses, and it sounds like market forces are mandating that you compromise your standards in order to continue serving the masses.

Don't serve the masses any more. Serve your art with the integrity that it deserves. TKD has taken some odd turns with the heavy emphasis in sports and the olympics. But that's not what TKD was originally. It was a valid fighting and self defense method, but mostly it's just the guys like yourself who have been around for over 30 years who would know that. You have a rare knowledge in today's TKD world. You need to make sure that gets passed on to someone worthy of carrying it forward. And I doubt there are many today who are truly worthy of that. So pick your students carefully, and start teaching them in the back yard or the garage or the basement, and teach them REAL TKD, not the sporting stuff. Thru your students, bring the integrity back to the system and don't let that die. You just won't be able to make your living in this way, but you can give your art a chance to survive with integrity for another generation. Maybe that ought to be your goal moving forward, and it might mean selling or closing your school if you can't stand to watch the deterioration of the integrity in that venue.

The one thing that's not an option IMHO is removing yourself from the teaching pool. You've still got too much to offer the people who are willing to learn.

very true, and a point that ought to be heavily reinforced.