Question for women - do you prefer to train with men or women?

[cr200111]

I'm trained in a few different arts and some of the women I've worked with tell me they prefer training only with women while others say they prefer to train with guys.

Is there a particualr reason for your preference?

 

[isshinryuronin]

I'm trained in a few different arts and some of the women I've worked with tell me they prefer training only with women while others say they prefer to train with guys.

Is there a particualr reason for your preference?

Since no women have responded yet, let me throw out a few considerations from a male's view.
1. As a woman is more likely concerned about being attacked by a man, it makes sense to train against a man, not only for physical, but psychological reasons as well.
2. Many techniques that work against a woman may not work against a larger, stronger and more robust opponent, so the choice of technique used may be different.
3. There is nothing wrong in a woman training with another woman once in a while - a number of techniques will work against a male or female.
4. Some moves require very close contact and may be uncomfortable for some women working with a guy (and perhaps the man as well.) While this is not optimum, it is a consideration for some women and should be respected. I think as the woman becomes more advanced, "hardened" and confident, such discomfort will lessen, as long as a professional demeanor is maintained by all parties. Stay focused on why you're there.

As a guy, I will admit to some "unease" when a female's arm or knife hand was in my crotch, and I'm no prude. Of course, when done with power, the "unease" was replaced with pain (which was perhaps easier to deal with) . Bottom line, if one student is uncomfortable working with another particular individual, let the instructor know. . Don't be a baby about it, but at the same time, don't let your current hard line boundries be violated.

 

[Tez3]

As a woman I only care about training with people who willing to train with respect for their fellow martial artists. I don't care whether they are male, female or anything else they define themselves as.
I do like training with pro fighters, their attitude of being professional in their training makes sessions with them often painful but always productive.

 

[cismab]

As a female, I agree with Tez3. I've trained in several styles and I've trained with men of all walks of life - those who want to be easy on you because you're female, those who want to help teach you so you understand the moves, and those who hate training with you because their testosterone gets in the way. I completely understand the mindset of each, but its how they express that mindset to their female training partner, that can be bothersome.

If they baby us, we don't learn, but we too should be able to have respect to speak up and ask them to grab harder, etc. I specifically like those who help teach. They are willing to share their knowledge for some of the class so I can learn and then they also have some training time with a stronger, larger opponent so they can learn too. The testosterone driven ones I even respect if they would just say "hey, I really need to work on X skill tonight and I need a partner who is larger and will challenge me". I have respect for that, but its when they leave you being the last chosen like 2 team captains picking teams in elementary school that bothers me and I find it disrespectful.

When I teach, I often rotate my student's training partners within each teaching drill so they have to work with those smaller and also those larger than themselves. I find this fair to everyone (except maybe the 1 smallest and the 1 largest student).

Powerhouses come in small sizes too so don't underestimate your training partner - they may just surprise you.

Going back to the initial question though - it would depend on the ladies in the group and what they want to accomplish. If they are serious about learning, mix them up with co-ed partners. If they just want the knowledge or have a fear of men to start with, start with them partnering with other females until they gain respect and confidence for the men in the school. I once had a female student who couldn't handle ANYONE touching her. It was hard to teach her self defense, but we started with baby steps of her going through the moves without anyone grabbing her... and then her daughter grabbed her... then me.. and eventually she could handle a male training partner, but it took time for her to feel comfortable.

 

[Steve]

As a female, I agree with Tez3. I've trained in several styles and I've trained with men of all walks of life - those who want to be easy on you because you're female, those who want to help teach you so you understand the moves, and those who hate training with you because their testosterone gets in the way. I completely understand the mindset of each, but its how they express that mindset to their female training partner, that can be bothersome.

If they baby us, we don't learn, but we too should be able to have respect to speak up and ask them to grab harder, etc. I specifically like those who help teach. They are willing to share their knowledge for some of the class so I can learn and then they also have some training time with a stronger, larger opponent so they can learn too. The testosterone driven ones I even respect if they would just say "hey, I really need to work on X skill tonight and I need a partner who is larger and will challenge me". I have respect for that, but its when they leave you being the last chosen like 2 team captains picking teams in elementary school that bothers me and I find it disrespectful.

When I teach, I often rotate my student's training partners within each teaching drill so they have to work with those smaller and also those larger than themselves. I find this fair to everyone (except maybe the 1 smallest and the 1 largest student).

Powerhouses come in small sizes too so don't underestimate your training partner - they may just surprise you.

Going back to the initial question though - it would depend on the ladies in the group and what they want to accomplish. If they are serious about learning, mix them up with co-ed partners. If they just want the knowledge or have a fear of men to start with, start with them partnering with other females until they gain respect and confidence for the men in the school. I once had a female student who couldn't handle ANYONE touching her. It was hard to teach her self defense, but we started with baby steps of her going through the moves without anyone grabbing her... and then her daughter grabbed her... then me.. and eventually she could handle a male training partner, but it took time for her to feel comfortable.

Welcome to the forum. Really helpful information.

 

[Steve]

As a woman I only care about training with people who willing to train with respect for their fellow martial artists. I don't care whether they are male, female or anything else they define themselves as.
I do like training with pro fighters, their attitude of being professional in their training makes sessions with them often painful but always productive.

A little professionalism goes a long way.