Problem student

kingkong89

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I am a sensei at a small dojo and have a problem with one of my students now when i say i have a problem its not that i dont like him its that he is egotistical he is young i realize but he is a purple belt and i believe he should be more mature than what he acts he has already decided that he doesnt like myself and two other black belts and he refuses to listen most of the time any suggestions
 

Chris Parker

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By sensei, do you mean that you are the instructor? If so, the answer is simple. If he shows no interest in learning, first talk to him to give him a chance to understand how his actions are being seen, then if it continues, let him know he is not gaining anything from being at the school, and it may be best if he either finds another school that is suited to him, or simply reconsiders his martial arts career. In other words, kick him out.

If you aren't the instructor, then talk to your instructor about it, and my advice to them would be the same.

If your instructor won't do anything about it, demonstrate (in less than gentle ways) why you are senior to him. But it sounds like he's not interested in learning, so there's no benefit to him being there, and certainly no benefit to the rest of the school.
 

Bruno@MT

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+1 to what Chris said.
If a student doesn't listen and misbehaves in class, then first talk to him and make sure he understands he is being a problem. If that doesn't work, kick him out. It is that simple. You are in charge, not him. If you don't kick him out and he doesn't change, then you will risk his behavior spreading to other or new students.
This is also why we enforce proper dojo behavior from day 1. Keeping a dojo running properly from day 1 is much easier than letting things slide and then putting them right again.

Here is a most excellent article that expresses my feelings about this topic. I didn't write it of course.
http://www.shutokukan.org/join_the_ryu.html
 

Cirdan

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Punctuation is your friend, use it.

If someone refuses to listen to instruction they get to leave the mat. Repeated behavior like this gets you kicked out, the Dojo is a place for those who want to learn. If we are talking about a kid, talk to the parents of course.
 

Omar B

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Back when I was a white belt a kid like that would get the cane and if he does not improve after he was removed. I saw it happen quite a few times. But this was the 80's in Jamaica, different time, different place.
 

jks9199

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How young is he? The answers or solutions are different if he's 8, 12, or 22.
 

OSKenpo

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If someone refuses to listen to instruction they get to leave the mat. Repeated behavior like this gets you kicked out, the Dojo is a place for those who want to learn.

This.


If it's your school, you need to sit him down and have a chat. If he doesn't change his approach to learning, show him the door. He isn't the instructor. You are.

I wouldn't waste time with someone who feels like he knows more about the art/system than you. If he actually does know more and is better than you, refer him to a different school. If he doesn't know more but still feels like he does, refer him to a different school.

Sounds like he has problems with his ego. I had a problem with that myself when I was younger. I judged all instructors by the standard that my first instructor set for me. That's not realistic. Different schools have different standards and methods of training. Humility is the ultimate approach when a student switches instructors/schools.

Anywho, either you're the head hancho at your school or you're not. Gotta be able to solve problems like this without being destructive to the other students.
 
OP
kingkong89

kingkong89

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Yes and no on the instructor I am not the soke but I am the second in charge and kudos to you Omar I wish it was as simple as a little attitude adjustment with a shinine but as you said different place different time he is 12 I realize he is still a kid but I don't give a #%*^ he is a purple belt that is advanced in our system he just has that attitude to him last night qt class I seen him getting lippy with a fellow black belt I'm afraid that it may come to showing him the door which I hate because I would like to see him succeed but he is one of those ones he knows it all even though in sparring even the lower belts tare him up
 

geezer

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Yes and no on the instructor I am not the soke but I am the second in charge and kudos to you Omar I wish it was as simple as a little attitude adjustment with a shinine but as you said different place different time he is 12 ...

Dealing with kids is a whole different ball game. It takes pacience and consistency. I'd suggest talking it over with the head guy and the other instructors and collectively formulating a policy to get this young man back on track. You may have to have a sit-down meeting with his parents too. If he doesn't straighten up and show due courtesy and respect, he should know what the consequences will be. Letting it go too long and then responding angrily would be the worst possible response! Trust me, as a school teacher, I face this kind of disrespect daily.

PS. If you really want people to listen to what you say in writing... do use punctuation!
 

Flying Crane

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Fixed that punctuation issue for you in this post.

It's extrememly difficult to read your posts, and take you seriously if you do not use any punctuation. thanks.

Yes and no on the instructor. I am not the soke but I am the second in charge. kudos to you Omar, I wish it was as simple as a little attitude adjustment with a shinine, but as you said different place different time. He is 12, I realize he is still a kid but I don't give a #%*^, he is a purple belt that is advanced in our system. He just has that attitude to him, and last night qt class I seen him getting lippy with a fellow black belt. I'm afraid that it may come to showing him the door, which I hate because I would like to see him succeed. But he is one of those ones, he "knows it all" even though in sparring even the lower belts tare him up
 

OSKenpo

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Ah, a kid.

Well, hmm.

Make him punch hard things until he cries.

:uhyeah:




edit: j/k, don't do that.
 

Bruno@MT

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You can want to turn the kid into a responsible, mature martial artist.
The problem is that if he doesn't want to, you can't make him.
And in that case it is really not worth wasting emotions on. Either he shapes up or ships out.
 
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Bruno@MT

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And what would be the correlation attached to 'id'?
Granted, it is a typo, but I don't quite see how it would be a Freudian slip.
Enlighten me :)
 

Cirdan

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Well you can always demote him, both skill and attitude needs to be maintained to hold a coloured belt.

We had a group of four blue belt kids some time ago who were behaving a bit like you describe. After some incidents they were banned from training for a month. Sensei considered kicking all of them permanently, but decided to give them a chanse. A senior student (me) was attached to them to straighten them out. It was a long hard road. One quit, the other three eventually passed their adult purple belt test. All of them disappeared for various reasons within a few years, one making it to brown, but we had some good times in the Dojo together.
 
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Indagator

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And what would be the correlation attached to 'id'?
Granted, it is a typo, but I don't quite see how it would be a Freudian slip.
Enlighten me :)


As in the "Id, Ego and Superego" which are the three parts of the psychic apparatus defined in the Freudian structural model of the psyche.

[quote author=Sigmund Freud]
"It is the dark, inaccessible part of our personality, what little we know of it we have learnt from our study of the dream-work and of the construction of neurotic symptoms, and most of this is of a negative character and can be described only as a contrast to the ego. We all approach the id with analogies: we call it a chaos, a cauldron full of seething excitations... It is filled with energy reaching it from the instincts, but it has no organisation, produces no collective will, but only a striving to bring about the satisfaction of the instinctual needs subject to the observance of the pleasure principle."
[/quote]

Hope that helps!

As to the OP, sometimes problem kids need tough love and to be shown the right path. Others will find it on their own later in life. And, lamentably, more still will simply never find it.
All you can do is try to help them, at 12 years old it's probably hard to determine which path this kid is going to follow. However if you put in the effort and hard work then even if it isn't immediately apparent, perhaps later in life this kid will find that something stuck and has made a difference. Or, if you're lucky, you may find a way to get through to him now.

Either way, good luck.
 

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