Outside Dojang Behavior version 2

[granfire]

Well, you are the lead man now, fill the shoes.
While it is wonderful to take the instructors' opinion into consideration, you name is on the office in a matter of speaking. does not mean you have to be a tyrant, either.

And you know the old saying: Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer

Have staff meetings over a working dinner at the neighborhood pizza parlor.
(or the locker room, surely he won't have cameras in there! )

 

[bluewaveschool]

"Staff meeting" are usually posts on a closed FB group.

So the bad weather meant I didn't have my love triangle tonight. Kinda good, since I'm spending saturday evening out with my 2 senior instructors, more time to speak with them. I was also subtly asked to hold off on the 'talk' for a class by my father while he, as a parent, deals with part of it. We'll see how well that goes. In one ear and out the other is my guess.

 

[shesulsa]

Ugh! all this wavering!

Do you care if you have a good quality school?

If you want a good quality school where there is as little baggage as possible and people are free to learn, tell this instructor hands off dating the students, period - only under that condition should he be allowed to be a regular instructor.

This is negativity in your school and you should not tolerate this disruptive, negative behavior.

End it. Give him an ultimatum - if he breaks it, let him go.

 

[Daniel Sullivan]

I was asked at the beginning of last class by one of the other instructors, in front of him, why I had not added him to the official instructor list. I truthfully hadn't thought about it in about a month, but after class I shared my concerns with them.

It was very disrespectful to you to ask you in front of him. It put you on the spot. Why do these people want an eighteen year old who is in a love triangle with two students and who apprently does not respect the use of safety equipment and who has temperment issues to be instructing without supervision?

It really doesn't matter how long they've been practicing or what their rank is. These individuals are incapable of making decisions about the operation of the school and frankly, should not have a vote.

The other reason I'm not in total control of the direction of the class is that I have to tiptoe around the Y. We've always been kind of distance, never fully embraced. But they do foot the bill for insurance, and they did just drop about $700 on equipment I asked for. The Y director is... sneaky. He doesn't tell you anything but nice things to your face. But I hear things through other people, and just learned that not only does the Y have cameras everywhere, but they have audio on them AND he has it set up that he can view them all from his laptop at home. Now, I've done nothing wrong and am not really worried about it much, but I do have to keep on his good side to keep the class going. Even pooling our money, the instructors as a group couldn't afford to open up a dojang. All the equipment belongs to the Y, and we're all poor.

All the more reason to keep an eighteen year old with temper issues, disregard for safety gear, and the inability to handle romantic relations with two students from being allowed to instruct without supervision.

Operation by consensus is usually detrimental to an organzation or institution.

Daniel

 

[Bruno@MT]

Poor young man! Like the menage a trois thing having two girls fighting over you is much better in fantasy than in real life!

Pfff.
In MY fantasy, they're not fighting over me. They're making love over me. With me somewhere in between

 

[Tez3]

Pfff.
In MY fantasy, they're not fighting over me. They're making love over me. With me somewhere in between

it's not all that it's cracked up to be. Especially if the two girls aren't into girls lol! Turns into a competition then a fight, then a big ruckus then the police get called and have to take statements with straight faces.

 

[Bruno@MT]

it's not all that it's cracked up to be. Especially if the two girls aren't into girls lol! Turns into a competition then a fight, then a big ruckus then the police get called and have to take statements with straight faces.

This is my fantasy we're talking about. If course they're into each other as well.
Not that I would know of course. But I'm willing to give it a try.
Ah well.... back to reality I guess....

 

[Nomad]

it's not all that it's cracked up to be. Especially if the two girls aren't into girls lol! Turns into a competition then a fight, then a big ruckus then the police get called and have to take statements with straight faces.

Well, that sounds like a story to tell...

 

[IcemanSK]

Can we please try to stick to the topic. I think we're drifting into a different type of website.

 

[puunui]

"Staff meeting" are usually posts on a closed FB group.

How many black belts are we talking about? Also, how many students? Is it one location or several? The picture I see in my head is maybe a six at the most black belts, and maybe 35 students total.

 

[Tez3]

Can we please try to stick to the topic. I think we're drifting into a different type of website.

I'm not so sure it is drifting, remember the OPs young instructor is very young, by my terms anyway and perhaps he has it in the back of his mind that two girls would be cool or he likes the idea at least of two girls fighting over him. It must be very flattering to a young male ego. He's probably not treating this as seriously as he should seeing it more of a fantasy ie "yay, look at me, two women...yeah I'm the man", not a good thing there.
My point is that fantasies should stay just that, they very rarely work out how they do when you are imagining it, it usually ends in tears which the OP is about to find out I think, floods of tears one way or another.

 

[Bruno@MT]

I'm not so sure it is drifting, remember the OPs young instructor is very young, by my terms anyway and perhaps he has it in the back of his mind that two girls would be cool or he likes the idea at least of two girls fighting over him. It must be very flattering to a young male ego. He's probably not treating this as seriously as he should seeing it more of a fantasy ie "yay, look at me, two women...yeah I'm the man", not a good thing there.
My point is that fantasies should stay just that, they very rarely work out how they do when you are imagining it, it usually ends in tears which the OP is about to find out I think, floods of tears one way or another.

I agree with Irene that this is somewhat on topic. I am willing to concede that there are combinations of people for whom it might work. But they are the minority. Let's assume for a moment that 2 people who commit to a relationship have about 1/2 chance that it works out. This seems like a fair assumption. In a 3 way relationship, there are 3 interpersonal relations that have to work out. From the male to each female and then between the females (assuming for a moment a 3way the way God intended it to be )

That means the chance that it does NOT end in tears is only maximum 1/8.
As such this is a relevant fact for the topic that was started by the OP. Of course each of us has to decide for himself how he wants to live, but in this scenario there is a huge chance that it will upset the dojo dynamic.

 

[bluewaveschool]

5 Black Belts. Myself (2 Dan since 2000), 4 1st Dan recommended, got their ranks sometime after 2002. Plus an unofficial advisor in my father, who was school head for 5 years.

Students - average of about 14 a night. Split about 50/50 between white and color belts.

 

[puunui]

5 Black Belts. Myself (2 Dan since 2000), 4 1st Dan recommended, got their ranks sometime after 2002. Plus an unofficial advisor in my father, who was school head for 5 years. Students - average of about 14 a night. Split about 50/50 between white and color belts.

Sounds like a good group. I don't believe in running a dojang via consensus though. Doesn't work out in the long run. That doesn't mean you can get feedback, but I believe there has to be one leader in the school, hopefully, with a strong second present.