Not Good

[Laborn]

lol story of my life, anyway. One of our instructers, he's married, and he's slime, he's flirting and cheating with the owner of the schools wife, now they're getting a divorce, and i hate that guys guts, i dont respect him, if he says anything to me i'm a smart mouth to him.

lol has this happened to any of you or am i cursed lol.

Laborn

 

[MA-Caver]

Think about it for a minnit... this has what to do with your Martial Arts training???

 

[dsp921]

I'm with MACaver, if it doesn't impact your training leave it alone. If your lack of respect for the instructors is an issue, find a new school.

 

[chinto01]

lol story of my life, anyway. One of our instructers, he's married, and he's slime, he's flirting and cheating with the owner of the schools wife, now they're getting a divorce, and i hate that guys guts, i dont respect him, if he says anything to me i'm a smart mouth to him.

lol has this happened to any of you or am i cursed lol.

Laborn

My suggestion is that you keep out of it. It sounds to me like the owners wife is to blame also. Steer far away from this as it is not your buisness as to who is in the company ink.

 

[Adept]

My suggestion is that you try and keep daily gripes like this off Martial Talk.

 

[shesulsa]

Adept: Actually, most well-intended, polite discussion is welcome on MartialTalk. There are situations that some students have not had to deal with before and perhaps we'd be better martial artists to help them through it than slam them for even opening mouth.

Laborn: I agree with the already posted sentiment. Keep your nose in your own book and allow your awareness of this issue to flow right on past you. You've observed the issue, now take note and move forward with your training. Focus on your training. There will always be other people's problems, mistakes, dishonorable actions. They are working their own path - don't let it become yours.

 

[arnisador]

Things like this happen all the time, sadly. I've seen many variations of it. Sometimes the school closes, sometimes it splits, sometimes life goes on.

Be prepared for the possibility that the atmosphere will get bad enough that you'll want to switch schools, I'd say, chill until the time comes. These things are always more complicated than they appear.

 

[TigerWoman]

Well, if this guy is your instructor, this would impact his integrity. It would be difficult to study under someone you couldn't trust. It would be difficult to answer questions about integrity at testing from such an instructor too. If it went on for awhile, I would ask the owner of the school for a different instructor if that was the case. But, he will probably be gone soon anyway if you wait and see. I agree with everyone else, stay out of their business if it is not part of yours. TW

 

[MJS]

lol story of my life, anyway. One of our instructers, he's married, and he's slime, he's flirting and cheating with the owner of the schools wife, now they're getting a divorce, and i hate that guys guts, i dont respect him, if he says anything to me i'm a smart mouth to him.

lol has this happened to any of you or am i cursed lol.

Laborn

Anytime someone close is having a rough time, its only natural to always want to go to that persons defense. This is a good example, as you obviously have a very good relationship with your instructor and do not like what is going on. My advice would be to be there for your inst. through any rough times that he may be going through. I would however, try your best to refrain from getting too involved. What I mean by this is, be there for him, if he needs a friend to talk to, but try to avoid having a physical confrontation on his behalf, his this other instructor.

Mike

 

[ginshun]

I have to agree with Tigerwoman on this one. While it would be best to look past the situation and consentrate on your training, who really wants to learn from somebody that they think is a scumbag? Personally, if I didn't have respect for my teacher apart from his MA ability, I would find it very difficult to look past that and focus on my training.

Tough situation.

 

[TKDKid]

Well, I agree, with several views already expressed. I personally would just want to steer clear and mind my own business, but on the other hand I would also be concerned about my instructor's integrity. It would be hard for me to respect such a person. I would also be concerned for the school because something like this could rend the school apart.

 

[terryl965]

Well, if this guy is your instructor, this would impact his integrity. It would be difficult to study under someone you couldn't trust. It would be difficult to answer questions about integrity at testing from such an instructor too. If it went on for awhile, I would ask the owner of the school for a different instructor if that was the case. But, he will probably be gone soon anyway if you wait and see. I agree with everyone else, stay out of their business if it is not part of yours. TW

TW as I see your point about integrity, but affairs of the heart has no morality in this world anymore.Sorry but the statement should be about his training his skills must be there or he would not be an instructor at the school for that school Master, the best advise anyone can give is this STAY OUT OF THERE BUSINESS and yes I'm yelling it out loud. Train and Train hard and hope this will stay with you through your lifetime. Temtation is a burden every man woman and child learns to control in some way or another.
Terry Lee Stoker

 

[TigerWoman]

TW as I see your point about integrity, but affairs of the heart has no morality in this world anymore.Sorry but the statement should be about his training his skills must be there or he would not be an instructor at the school for that school Master, the best advise anyone can give is this STAY OUT OF THERE BUSINESS and yes I'm yelling it out loud. Train and Train hard and hope this will stay with you through your lifetime. Temtation is a burden every man woman and child learns to control in some way or another.
Terry Lee Stoker

If the guy stepped over that line so easily, what other line's of integrity would also dissolve when the going got tough? Integrity means making the hard choices. Actually they are true tests of integrity. There's a choice not to get involved with the wife, way before. I don't buy it that a man or a woman does whatever in the name of love. Easy in love, easy out of love, Or is it just the chase-just an affair of passion/lust, or regaining youth. Everyone gets hurt. Better to stay out of that. It probably would be embarrassing to the owner/husband too to be cuckolded publicly, having all his students know. But I would probably ask for another instructor and give another excuse. I found it almost impossible to study under an instructor who lost my trust so I speak from experience. TW

 

[terryl965]

Tw you are right in your views and my point is this integrity is the most important part of one's being, with that being said the matter's of the heart is a powerful trigger for anybody. The student should keep his integrity and leave this matter alone and the two that are involved should leave this Dojang and go about there own business, but in reality those will not happen and people are more forgiving about affairs of the heart weather true love or lust.I personally would not train under someone like that but look at us in the WTF and USTU and the Kukkiwon they have all **** on us in TKD but we still belong to ther organizations and we will be there as long as we study TKD. Your on experience's with your Master shows that people true enlighted people forgive one for there mistakes in life.

Terry lee Stoker

 

[chinto01]

I believe that their are a number of views on this subject. Let's not forget the saying" to committ error is human, to forgive is divine." We must also assume that not all of our system founders were squeaky clean either. Kyan Sensei was a great teacher however there are rumors that he enjoyed to visit brothels with a couple of his senior students. Does this make him any lesser of a great martial artist? I do not think so. We all make mistakes, it is how we fix the mistake after that speaks alot of the person.

In the spirit of Bushido!

Rob

 

[Tgace]

If the situation upsets you enough, leave. This is a martial arts class we are talking about, right? There is no "hobby" (yeah yeah..MA is "A way of life"..yadda yadda) out there that I wouldnt dump in a hot second if it conflicted .005% with my morals or ethical beliefs.

 

[kenpo0324]

If it bothers you that much, maybe you should leave the school for awhile.
Remember it takes 2 to tangle, she's as much to blame as he is.
Just go about your business and Keep Out of it, and be there for your Friend to talk and to listen to him.

 

[OC Kid]

Unfortunately I think this happens all the time. Ive been in schools where ladies came just to meet guys. Good school great techniques fighter ect but It was kinda a matching making service to. I known people who were instructors and had other instructors fool around with their wives. I know some instructors who are on their 3 rd marriage or so from fooling around with students.

I got the attitude now that I go to a school to learn MA. I dont go for morality lessons.
If I wanted morality lessons then I would go to church. Some folks MA is just a business. Not a way of life.

Also they spend so much time in the school that their entire world social and otherwise is there.

We are all human, We all make mistakes.
You have choices to make.


1) Ignore it and go on with your training

2) Quit a find another school

3) ( You didnt say whether this guy was the head instructor /owner or not then if he's not)
Talk to the head instructor/owner and let him handle the situation especially if you are not a B/B or instructor there..

 

[still learning]

Hello, Today we expect our teachers to be humble, trustworthly, loyal, and a little above everyone in the honorable department.

To say we are humans and make mistakes is true, but to cheat, lie, and steal or get involved with someone else's wife,girlfriend or student is not a good person to follow. Where is his intergity. These people need to grow up and be more mature in there thinking and their lives.

Define maturity of a teacher? than you will know who to train with. People that take advanages of there positions are not grown-up yet and has not mature enough to know what is RIGHT or WRONG. Age does not define maturity. A person ACTIONS does..................Aloha

 

[Drac]

I'm with MACaver, if it doesn't impact your training leave it alone. If your lack of respect for the instructors is an issue, find a new school.

Ditto...