Meet your next sparring partner, your ego

Live True

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I had a revelation yesterday evening, and I'm wondering how many others do or have faced this or a similar issue.

About 1/3 of the way through class last night, I suddenly realized that I had stopped watching my sensei and our top ranked student, because I was so focused on doing things my way...In other words, I had stopped learning and was trying to show how much I'd learned or was simply too self absorbed
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It was then I realized that this wasn't the first time I'd probably done this, and I really needed to SNAP OUT OF IT! Personal practice time is when I should be going at my speed and trying different things, but during class time, I should be focused on the count offs so I stay with the class, the technique of my teacher and higher ranked students, and on watching/doing/LEARNING. I was focusing on what I was doing, but it was in a very....blind way. I'm not sure if that makes sense. I was blind to what others around me were doing so I could try and learn something more...it was almost as if I was so confident I "had this down"....
..when what I really know is still very small.
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I do think all students should be looking at what they do from many viewpoints and trying new things in and out of class...but you need to have open eyes and ears to learn...and sometimes, I think my ego and eagerness to accomplish things...gets in my way.

So, I refocused, and opened up my eyes and mind...and near the end of class I caught myself doing the same thing, all over again. :banghead::banghead:

So, how often have you found your ego...in big or small ways...being one of your toughest opponents as you learn and train?
 

girlbug2

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I've done that also. That's the downside to practicing in a room with mirrored walls :D. But then when I sneak glances at the higher level students and instructors, it's quickly humbling.
 

searcher

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Being focused does not mean you have stopped learning or are self-absorbed.


I have some students I wish would focus in the described manor. You don't have to maintian visual contact with the instructor all of the time.
 

Sandstorm

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I think my ego and eagerness to accomplish things...gets in my way.

Well, I do understand what you're getting at here, but I don't see this as an 'ego' issue at all. If it were, you wouldn't have brought it up here for starters.
It strikes me that you are very very keen to learn, and with this, comes a focus that is a little self-absorbant, yes. But that is you concentrating on the execution of your technique, not showing your prowess to others or whatever. I think I have highlighted the point that you made yourself here, your 'eagerness to accomplish'. You have noithing to be ashamed of, and you certainly don't need to focus 100% all of the time on your sensei. Yes, look. Yes, listen. Most importantly, when you are being shown, absorb, practice and practice again. It sounds like you're in a stage of development that has given you the 'itch'.
Keep scratching:)

Kind regards


John
 

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I've fought my ego many times and it's whooped my butt more times then I care to count. It's a constant struggle to ensure you don't allow it rule you.

Though as one poster said, I didn't see this so much as your ego either as much as your willingness just to learn as much as you can and sometimes doing it your way is not a bad way at all if that's what it takes for you to get it.
 

Aniela13

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A pretty good way I've found of keeping my ego in check is "friendly competition" with one of my instructors...we get along very well and are friends, so it doesn't impact our working relationship, but it helps me during class to just compare what I'm doing against what he's doing and try to make it closer to his level. And since he smokes me on just about every level, I think I'll have quite a long time where this system works for motivation ;)

~Ani
 

geezer

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A pretty good way I've found of keeping my ego in check is "friendly competition" with one of my instructors...we get along very well and are friends... And since he smokes me on just about every level, I think I'll have quite a long time where this system works for motivation ;)
~Ani

I'm doing pretty much the same thing. I came back to training after a "break" of many years. Before my break, I had kind of an ego problem dealing with one of my training partners, actually another instructor who was technically my si-dei or "younger brother" in our system, although in fact we were more or less equals. Anyway, for whatever reasons, it was tough training with him since neither of us wanted to cooperate as much as to "whup" the other guy.

So imagine my feelings when years later, I returned to training and this dude is the guy in charge!!! Well, first thing I find out is that now he can beat me without even breaking a sweat. And, finally we have really become friends. I'm learning a lot from him and enjoy training a more than I ever did. And it's not like I don't try to win when we spar. It's more that my ego doesn't get in the way when I lose... after all I'm still learning, right? I don't know if it's just that some sixteen years later, we are finally just more mature, or if it's the whole hierarchy thing that you see with dogs. You know, they fight until one emerges as the alpha dog and then the whole pack is happier.

Hey, you know what's really funny. The top dude in our whole organization, who can totally "smoke" any of us... once trained under both of us. So we all eat humble pie!
 
OP
Live True

Live True

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Thank you all for the great replies, and my apologies for not responding sooner. I have a newborn, and that understandably takes away from my forum time!:uhyeah:

I am VERY eager to learn, and I am working to get in shape, learn all I can, and "get it". I'm also probably harder on myself than anyone I know...
I feel like I'm finding a better balance between watch/learn and practice/do....and I have soooooOOO much to learn! not that this is a BAD thing...%-}
 
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