Marriage Communication: What does "If you must" mean to you?

[ballen0351]

LOL!
She must have a good reason... :angel:

I think its my pulled pork recipe or my crab cakes.

 

[Carol]

What it means to me is these people need to stop playing games and really learn to communicate, or else when something truly serious comes along there will be major anger and resentment issues. No means no, yes means yes, any code that may "mean" yes or no, is bull ****.

Full agreement!

However, some respect must be given to how the question is asked as well. Personally, I'm a person who generally communicates clearly (and often bluntly). However, when my CTO asks me a question, my answer often sounds like a stammering, bumbling idiot. It's not because i find a C level exec intimidating...he's a great guy.

The problem is that he will start a particular train of thought and continue that in real time discussion. He will bring up complicated questions....ones that require a bit of thought and analytics to answer. I don't always do well with coming up with a complex answer at lightning speed. Had he asked me the same question over e-mail, he would have received a much more succinct answer because the time it would have taken me to type my reply would have given me the needed extra moment to think through my answer and word it properly.

Respect for another person includes giving a conversation the respect it deserves, regardless of gender or what the relationships are.

 

[granfire]

I think its my pulled pork recipe or my crab cakes.

Yes, that must be it! :uhyeah:

 

[Sukerkin]

Come to think of it i I'm not sure why she stays

Love is a strange and powerful force, my friend. When a woman takes us into her heart then it's best not to question the 'why's', for that way lies insanity.

I too could never understand what my Michelle saw in me, for she was the most purely good and lovely person I have ever met. She saw the world painted in shades of 'light' and never had a bad word to say about anyone, whereas I am a grumpy cynic who sees it painted in (at best) shades of grey and am very bad at keeping my opinions to myself ... even when I really should at times .

 

[ballen0351]

Love is a strange and powerful force, my friend. When a woman takes us into her heart then it's best not to question the 'why's', for that way lies insanity.

I too could never understand what my Michelle saw in me, for she was the most purely good and lovely person I have ever met. She saw the world painted in shades of 'light' and never had a bad word to say about anyone, whereas I am a grumpy cynic who sees it painted in (at best) shades of grey and am very bad at keeping my opinions to myself ... even when I really should at times .

I think you just kept her full of wine.

 

[Sukerkin]

LOL El Bombero FTW in that case (and by the case too {Yeah! Vino based pun attack } ) .

 

[DennisBreene]

Oh, the 'I am not telling you how I feel, but you better guess right' shpiel....

Can't stand people who do that...
Then again, I rolled the eyes last time DH wanted to go to the pawn shop (buying, not selling).
I conveyed how I felt...and he got mad. Go figure.

But getting an expensive item - you hopefully use a lot - for 1/3 of the original price....
It is easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission!

My wife grudgingly accepted the grill and then proceeded to fire it up for me one day... and melted the vinyl siding. I'm still not sure if it was an accident Asking for forgiveness can go both ways.

 

[elder999]

Whatever it means, you know damn well what it means when you hear it,or you shouldn't have married her, and-as a husband-you disregard it at your peril.

 

[granfire]

On the other hand....
I started cooking dinner, thought I'd stuff my measly tiny leftover zucchinies before they rot....

Husband "Oh, I was going to get KFC"
Me: "That's fine, I can put the stuffing in the fridge and fix them tomorrow"
He: "Are you Sure?"
Me: "Yes, positive"

he walks out of the house, gets in the car, comes back in....

"I am not getting it, I don't want to make you mad"

:lfao:

Ok, there I go again: "Yes, if you want it, I am fine with it"
He finally leaves.
I am actually fine with it. It's still cheat day on the diet...the vegetables can wait til tomorrow.

But seriously, how much cleared can I make it: yes, I am ok with you getting the chicken!