An old biker walks into his favorite bar..His buddy greets him and then points out that that he isn't wearing any pants".."I know", he replies.."Yesterday I went for a ride without my shirt and got a stiff neck, this is MY wifes idea"...
Seven days without a pun makes one weak....
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents....
Why couldn't the pony talk? He was feeling a little horse....
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers....
What do you call four hundred bunnies hopping backwards? A receeding hare line....
:lfao:
and my all time favourite:
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
...
A hooker walks into a bar with a duck under her arm.."Hey", yells the bartender.."Get that pig outta here".."This ain't no pig it's a duck",says the hooker.."I'm taking to the duck", says the bartender
3 guys are sitting around talking about their favorite bars..
"I know a place that the drinks are real cheap and they have free pizza", says one..
"HA", said the 2nd guy.."I know a place where for every 2 drinks you buy you get one on the house, and they have pizza and wings"..
"That's nothing" says", the third..I know a place where the bartender buys you a drink, the DJ buys you a drink, the bouncer buys you a drink then you go into the back room and have sex all night."
"Where is this place ?" the other 2 ask.."I dunno, I heard my girlfriend talking about it"
A police officer has been sitting in a park zone all day and still is eaer to catch himself a speeder, after 5 hrs a red cammaro comes ripping by at speeds over 150 km/k the police takes chase, the commarow pulls over and the cop rushes up to the door happy he gets to finaly issue a big ticket. the police looks at the driver who is a young man and sayys to him " I have been weighting all day for someone like you.."
the young man looks up and says " I got here as fast as i could."
How do you know if there is a Pilit at a party? He'll tell you.
Whats the difference between god and a pilit? god do'snt think he is a pilit.