JBrainard
Senior Master
Need a joke to cheer up a friend who's all down on herself.
Joke needed.
- Thread starter JBrainard
- Start date
An old biker walks into his favorite bar..His buddy greets him and then points out that that he isn't wearing any pants".."I know", he replies.."Yesterday I went for a ride without my shirt and got a stiff neck, this is MY wifes idea"...
The best ones are in the After Dark forum which can only be accessed by Supporting Members.
You'll have to go to the AD forum for the dirtier jokes.
There are some good ones in the Comedy Cafe forum too.
wee_blondie
Blue Belt
How bout a few silly puns?
Seven days without a pun makes one weak....
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents....
Why couldn't the pony talk? He was feeling a little horse....
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers....
What do you call four hundred bunnies hopping backwards? A receeding hare line....
:lfao:
and my all time favourite:
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
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(its worth it)
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Just two but how do you get them in there?!!!!!!!
Aaaahh, jeez - I crack me up sometimes.
Hope your friend likes them!
Seven days without a pun makes one weak....
Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents....
Why couldn't the pony talk? He was feeling a little horse....
It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers....
What do you call four hundred bunnies hopping backwards? A receeding hare line....
:lfao:
and my all time favourite:
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
...
...
...
...
...
(its worth it)
...
...
...
...
...
Just two but how do you get them in there?!!!!!!!
Aaaahh, jeez - I crack me up sometimes.
Hope your friend likes them!
ArmorOfGod
Senior Master
A duck, a blonde, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "Is this some kind of joke?"
AoG
AoG
A hooker walks into a bar with a duck under her arm.."Hey", yells the bartender.."Get that pig outta here".."This ain't no pig it's a duck",says the hooker.."I'm taking to the duck", says the bartender
Shodan
Master Black Belt
One of my all-time favorite clean, yet "dirty" joke.
How do you catch a polar bear?
You dig a hole in the ice. You spread peas around the hole. When a polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole!!
How do you catch a polar bear?
You dig a hole in the ice. You spread peas around the hole. When a polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole!!
3 guys are sitting around talking about their favorite bars..
"I know a place that the drinks are real cheap and they have free pizza", says one..
"HA", said the 2nd guy.."I know a place where for every 2 drinks you buy you get one on the house, and they have pizza and wings"..
"That's nothing" says", the third..I know a place where the bartender buys you a drink, the DJ buys you a drink, the bouncer buys you a drink then you go into the back room and have sex all night."
"Where is this place ?" the other 2 ask.."I dunno, I heard my girlfriend talking about it"
"I know a place that the drinks are real cheap and they have free pizza", says one..
"HA", said the 2nd guy.."I know a place where for every 2 drinks you buy you get one on the house, and they have pizza and wings"..
"That's nothing" says", the third..I know a place where the bartender buys you a drink, the DJ buys you a drink, the bouncer buys you a drink then you go into the back room and have sex all night."
"Where is this place ?" the other 2 ask.."I dunno, I heard my girlfriend talking about it"
born_fighting
Yellow Belt
A police officer has been sitting in a park zone all day and still is eaer to catch himself a speeder, after 5 hrs a red cammaro comes ripping by at speeds over 150 km/k the police takes chase, the commarow pulls over and the cop rushes up to the door happy he gets to finaly issue a big ticket. the police looks at the driver who is a young man and sayys to him " I have been weighting all day for someone like you.."
the young man looks up and says " I got here as fast as i could."
How do you know if there is a Pilit at a party? He'll tell you.
Whats the difference between god and a pilit? god do'snt think he is a pilit.
whats 12 inches long and white? Nothing.
the young man looks up and says " I got here as fast as i could."
How do you know if there is a Pilit at a party? He'll tell you.
Whats the difference between god and a pilit? god do'snt think he is a pilit.
whats 12 inches long and white? Nothing.
