How to feel safe

[terryl965]

What do you do on a daily basis to feel like you are safe from any type of danger?
How do you prepare yourself to feel safe?
What steps are taken in your training to insure your feelings?

I thought this might be a great topic to hear from all the different styles and how they handle these questions.

 

[CuongNhuka]

I train with pocket sticks, and carry pens.

 

[terryl965]

I train with pocket sticks, and carry pens.

we probaly all have that beside that what else do you do.

 

[CuongNhuka]

we probaly all have that beside that what else do you do.

Well, for strick self defense, thats basicly it. I train with a sickle (no, really), but that's more of an anti-home invasion thing. Yes, infact, I have a sickle. I do train in weapon defense, but mostly when I have a pocket stick. There is some 'I'm disarmed, gotta defend against some weapon' thing, but mostly with a pocket stick.

 

[TheOriginalName]

This is an interesting question, as the way you have posed it implies that we automatically feel unsafe ~ perhaps not what was intended but how it came across to me.

Personally, i naturally feel safe when i am out. I guess most of that comes from my self confidence in my ability to judge people and situations to maintain my safety.

If i am in a situation that i do feel unsafe - we i check my posture, making sure i walk and act as though i am totally confident in myself (even if i'm about to pee my pants....not that i do that!!).
I find the perception/deception of power and confidence the best way to stay safe...people tend to only attack those who already look like "victims".

Anyway, that's my 2 cents ......

 

[terryl965]

You are right the question does imply that most people do not feel safe when they go out. I wanted to be that way. Thank you for noticing.

 

[thardey]

We fear what we do not understand - the unknown.

If there is something that raises my fear level, then I try to study it. For instance, I was beginning to be afraid of the methamphetamine growth in my hometown, so, starting here at martial talk, I asked about it, and learned from people who had dealt with it. Now I am not so afraid of it.

If I am afraid of a home robbery, then I study how a robber would typically enter a home - remove the unknown elements, and the fear decreases dramatically.

Some of the cultures through history that championed courage had very detailed accounts of what happens after death - knowing what laid on the other side of life made people more willing to take the risk of "crossing over."

 

[Steel Tiger]

I have a theory on this which I try to instill in my students.

I believe that to be safe you have to appear that you belong where you are. I don't mean dressing in the local attire or talking the local slang (that can help though), but simply not looking worried about being somewhere new or different. Don't look like a tourist is one way on putting it.

All too often I have seen people walking down the street who are obviously not locals. They stand out because of their demeanor not because their physical appearance is different.

So I tell my students to keep their backs straight, walk with a purpose, always look like you know where you are going, don't slink, and they will not look like a potential victim.

Its all about confidence. Even if you are not confident you can look like you are.

 

[still learning]

Hello, Anytime you have the "funny" feeling that something is NOT right?
Beaware? Your antenna's should go up.

This is known as trusting your intincts!

The law enforcment people usually gain alot of knowledge from experience's in the real world, thru exposer!

Learn to be more observant, do not walk with headsets on,learn to look around,(learning awareness,avoidance are skills that you will need to learn thru experiences-thru training or real life.

READ: The Gift of FEAR!!! This is a great book on "how to feel safer".

Trust your intincts always..........Aloha (I keep my intincts in the ON positon....sometimes the batteries dies and I need to replace them.)

 

[kidswarrior]

Personally, i naturally feel safe when i am out.

I find the perception/deception of power and confidence the best way to stay safe...people tend to only attack those who already look like "victims".

I believe that to be safe you have to appear that you belong where you are.

So I tell my students to keep their backs straight, walk with a purpose, always look like you know where you are going, don't slink, and they will not look like a potential victim.

Its all about confidence. Even if you are not confident you can look like you are.

These two quotes sum up my feelings about this, too. I personally just never feel unsafe, but that's not really the crux to me. For me, it's how I get my students to the same place. I think the above posts are a good start.

 

[grydth]

What do you do on a daily basis to feel like you are safe from any type of danger?
How do you prepare yourself to feel safe?
What steps are taken in your training to insure your feelings?

I thought this might be a great topic to hear from all the different styles and how they handle these questions.

I never feel safe from any danger. Not ever. Feelings of safety too often lead to feelings of complacency. Complacency kills.

I avoid or resolve needless conflict.... we don't flash cash or bling around the wrong places.

I drive a late model SUV, keep it maintained and drive defensively, like everyone else is trying to kill me. Lately, it seems some are. Carelessness will kill you just as dead as malice.

I read all of the crime and terror sources I can, both here and several other places... anything to give me an edge, what to look out for, what the bad guys are doing new. Who can feel safe after that Cheshire, Conn home massacre?

I feed my fiercely protective dog well.

Five out of six of us practice martial arts.... the sixth stands 6'5". My youngest kids do not go out without me.

I have the right loads in the right guns.

... and perhaps most importantly I maintain a mindset to kill if anyone attacks my family. Weapons are worse than useless without both the skill and the iron will to use them. That, I know, sounds barbaric......I guess that's just too bad.

Okay... time for some mellow Qi Gong!

 

[Gordon Nore]

Occasionally, when walking to the corner store at night, I may happen upon groups of youngsters hanging around the neighbourhood beer store, etc. There's never been a problem, but one never knows. If I feel edgy, my Kubotan is in my fist.

I tend not to carry my wallet for these short trips, so that I don't have to worry about the loss of credit cards and ID. I do much the same when I travel -- I'll lock up credit cards, passport, etc. in the hotel safe and carry only necessary ID (like a driver's license in a separate pocket), a little bit of cash, and travelers' cheques for the day. If I'm not carrying it, I don't have debate with myself over fighting to defend it.

I always carry a cell phone.

 

[morph4me]

I believe that safety is an illusion, so I stay aware and listen to my instincts. I realize that at any time I can become a statistic, I don't let it prevent me from doing what I want to do, I just stay on yellow alert and I'm prepared to do whatever is necessary to protect myself and my family and deal with the consequences if I survive.

 

[Andy Moynihan]

Ain't no such a THING as safe--only safer.

 

[tshadowchaser]

I watch where I go and who is around.

I try to treat everyone the same and I look into peoples eyes

I do not posture but carry myslef in the same manner I aways have

If I feel a situation is unsafe or an area I try to avoid it

I seldom go to strange areas alone

 

[tellner]

Quite simply, I don't.

You can never be safe from all danger. There's no sense in trying to do it. You'll either have a false sense of security or to paraphrase President Eisenhower beggar yourself in the vain search for absolute security. The best you can do is play the odds, take reasonable precautions and be mindful without getting paranoid.

 

[Touch Of Death]

What do you do on a daily basis to feel like you are safe from any type of danger?
How do you prepare yourself to feel safe?
What steps are taken in your training to insure your feelings?

I thought this might be a great topic to hear from all the different styles and how they handle these questions.

Consider and work through the previously unconsidered.
Sean

 

[Tez3]

Years ago when I did a more interesting job in sneaky-beakyland we used to have a sign up that said "Yes you ARE paranoid BUT are you paranoid enough?"

 

[Danny T]

Interesting question Terry.

Safe; is the condition of being protected against physical, social, spiritual, financial, political, emotional, occupational, psychological, educational or consequences of failure, damage, error, accidents, harm or any other event which could be considered non-desirable. This can take the form of being protected from an event or from exposure to something that causes mental, physical, or economical issues and can include protection of people and/or of possessions.

Your question asks, “what do I do on a daily basis to “feel” safe…?” To have an emotional affect of or to perceive, to believe or think that I am safe.

Can one truly “be” safe?
To create the perception of being safe I;
1. am aware of what danger is possible
2. learn as much as I can about the danger
3. do as much as one can “reasonably” do to avoid or divert the possibilities
4. devise, implement and follow a reasonable plan of action.
5. survey and adjust the plan of action based upon need
6. Feel Safe

Is there a particular area of being unsafe or insecure that you are referring to? I would need to know that in order to plan for or train to insure my feelings of being safe.

 

[Rich Parsons]

What do you do on a daily basis to feel like you are safe from any type of danger?
How do you prepare yourself to feel safe?
What steps are taken in your training to insure your feelings?

I thought this might be a great topic to hear from all the different styles and how they handle these questions.

Nervous Putty Cat?

Yep!

It is not paranoia if you know they are out to get you.

I sometimes have pocket knives or trainers on me.

I always have my pens.

I always pay attention to my surroundings.

I know if someone is following me.

If someone is behind me for too long (* I take back roads for a nice relaxing ride to and from work *) I take a nice detour in a circle. If they are behind me, I find a nice place to make it obvious to them I know they are there. (* Not happened in years to me, but still aware. *) I pay attention to people around me and recognize who could be a threat or not.

At work there are engineers. There is managment and the workers. Many stay away from the others. Then there are the mechanics and technicians. And then there are the cleaning staff. Most people ignore the cleaning staff. Only those who have to interface with the mechanics or technicians do so. I know them all, say hi to them all, and smile and nod and acknowledge their presence. Some of those who work there, look to be a possible threat, the lion walking through the herd, but realizes that it would be caught before it could get out of the fences. Then they see me, and wonder if I am a lion or a game warden but most definitely not part of the herd.

Pay attention. I know there is a color system that many use in the business. Most start with White, then yellow then orange and red.

I prefer Black, then yellow and oange and red.

Why start with Black?

Because most people are wlaking through their lives oblivious to those around them and what is possible. Also, they are the ones that others will be wearing black at their funerals. (* This is used to get their attention. *)

Yellow is aware. You are being cautious, but like a yellow light you also are in a hurry to get through, but you checked to make sure no one was jumping the gun on the cross traffic. Being aware is good. This is the place to be.

Orange is when a possible threat has been identidied. Living in orange 24/7 is not good. It is stressful. This stage is meant to be used as a place once recogniation has been made to evaluate and determine a course of action. Flight (* good idea *) , avoiding a bad street as one sees a drug deal going down, etcetera. If required they can go to Red, if not back to yellow.

Red is when physical contact is required. I like red. It means that your actions here has to be with intent. The intent to cause damage and blood. If it is not with that intent, it most likely will be your blood. Now this does not mean go kill someone or stab them or poke out their eye. Even if you just parry and or push to get space to get away, the intent must be there. Red must be a short period as well. Going from red back to orange to evaluate and then if all is clear back to yellow.

This is how I go through my day. I am always aware.

When I go to bars, I choose nice towns and places where people would be insulted by the idea of a fight. Yes, it means driving 40 miles sometimes to hang out with friends. But is is avoiding areas I know that could be dangerous.