French Military History in a Nutshell

[exile]

Please forgive me, as I did not read through the entire thread, but did anybody forget the French and the Vietnamese. They got their butts kicked out of Southeast Asia and they tried for many years there. As Americans we can't say a whole lot, since we have not faired very well in SE Asia.

The Master's and Blotan's lists duly record the French defeat in their colonial adventure in Indochina. Interestingly, though, it probably should be added that the Algerian War was possibly the only war that any nation's military has decisively lost twice. The first time it was the official French Army; the second time it was L'Armée Secrète (OAS), a cabal of French military officers, some quite high-ranking, under General Raoul Salan, which tried in the early 1960s to overturn by force de Gaulle's by-then established policy of disengagement from Algeria. Just as in the case of the French regular forces, the OAS got its clock cleaned, and Salan wound up in the slammer.

 

[dragonswordkata]

oh, can we add to Frances lost when the Veci (sp) puppet government backed by the Germans, lost in No. Africa to Allied forces?

 

[Steel Tiger]

Canadians burnt down the white house in 1812. William Wallace defeated the English on a couple of occasions. Jon of Acr won a couple really impressive victories. In WW1 all sides sent infantry attacks against machine gun armed trenches only to get slaughtered. Julius Cesar entered Rome, took control of the city with a single legion, and ended up winning a civil war. Every country has battles I'm sure they'd rather forget in there past.

But it is not every country that consistently has its military described as the best in the world. From the late eighteenth century the French army has continually been described as the best in the world (meaning Europe i this case). This was based on equuipment and training and under Napoleon, for a time , it was true. Yet each time they were defeated, in some cases severely defeated (Franco-Prussian War).

In truth, the French have not described themselves this way but they have lived off the undeserved reputation for a long time.

 

[exile]

oh, can we add to Frances lost when the Veci (sp) puppet government backed by the Germans, lost in No. Africa to Allied forces?

Good point, DSK! And strangely parallel to the situation in Algeria that I posted about earlier, where first the regular French army and then the underground French army lost bigtime. The regular French army essentially surrendered to the Germans before there were any official hostilities; then the Vichy French army lost to the Allied armies after full hostilities were in progress. If you think of the SAO as the `dark side' of the regular French military of the 1950s and the French armed forces under the Nazi-collaborationist Vichy goverment as the `dark side' of the regular French military of the 1930s-40s, there's a certain satisfying parallelism in the two cases. The most satisfying thing is that in all four subcases we're looking at here, the French got trounced.

You have to ask the question... did the French ever actually win? On anything but a very temporary basis, I mean...??

 

[Blotan Hunka]

Q:How many French military personel does it take to defend Paris?

A:No one knows because it's never been tried

 

[exile]

Q:How many French military personel does it take to defend Paris?

A:No one knows because it's never been tried

:roflmao:

My understanding is that there was a defense of Paris against the Germans, during WWI, but it was undertaken by cab drivers, not the army. And the cabbies won!

 

[SFC JeffJ]

actually, British troops set fire to it and damaged the interior so bad it took three years to repair. But they did not burn it down (i.e. completely destroy it) AFAIK.

http://usparks.about.com/cs/parkhistory/a/whitehouse.htm

I have heard somewhere (but can't find a source in a quick internet search) that the residence was painted white after the attacks to help conceal the damage done by the attack.

Back onto the matter of France, how do we define the Normans? They sailed from France and kicked the British butts on their home turf. But of course, their name "Norman" comes from the fact that they were not originally from France and were only there for a few generations before they decided England was a nice place to visit.

The Normans where immigrants to France. There were actually Norsemen(men of the north, same as Normans) who took that bit of ground on their way to raid Paris. They had been there a generation or four, but mostly were keeping their own culture at that point.

Jeff

 

[Kembudo-Kai Kempoka]

French army motto: "At the first sing of attack, surrender!"

 

[Don Roley]

I remember a line from an old Mad Magazine history of America book.

"The French and Indian war- both the French and the Indians lost."

 

[The Master]

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --- General George S. Patton

Why did the French send Lady Liberty to America? A. They had no use for her anyway B. They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France for God's sake. C. She wouldn't put out D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the British. As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. E. They wanted to remind future generations that they once had the balls to do what is right. F. All of the above

Also some sickening but true information came my way about the French. In French text books the U.S. in WWII is only 1 paragraph of information and worst of all D-day isn't mentioned at all!!!

During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." The French general said, "Why to you wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." The British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, and my soldiers will not get scared." The French general said, "That is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants."

American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" Frenchman: "No." American: "You're Welcome!

Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English?
A: Welcome!

 

[CTKempo Todd]

I'm not an admirer of the French but the bottom line is:

The American Revolution would not have succeeded if it was not for the French. Twist it however you want but it does not change that fact.

 

[Blotan Hunka]

Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees?

The Germans like to march in the shade.

 

[grydth]

"Canadians burnt down the white house in 1812."
1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Bring extra matches.

A few losses over centuries doesn't hurt, when theres a regular amount, well....

http://www.militaryfactory.com/battles/french_military_victories.asp
1214-2003
Wins - 34/33 (Were there any French forces on the Allied side at Normandy?)
Draws - 9
Losses - 28

Yes, Free French forces did participate in D Day.

These included 2 cruisers (the Montcalm and Georges Leygues), 7 destroyers and escorts, and the old battleship Courbet which was used as a block ship.

Two commando troops landed with the British at Oiutreham.... as I recall they may have been shown in the movie "The Longest Day". French Commandos stormed the Casino at Riva Bella.

Then there were the French resistance attacks on the Germans, mostly focusing on impeding the Germans from getting reinforcements to Normandy. Mass murders by the SS in Tulle and Oradour resulted.

 

[Blotan Hunka]

Why are there rear view mirrors on French tanks?

So they can watch the battle.

 

[Blotan Hunka]

Q: Did you hear about France's new weapons contracts?
A: They gave one to Ace Hardware to produce 250,000 wood sticks...they are still looking for a company to produce 250,000 little white flags.

One of my favorite quotes:
"Let's face it. When it comes to war, France gets rolled more often than a Parisian prostitute with a visible mustache."

 

[bydand]

Q: Did you hear about France's new weapons contracts?
A: They gave one to Ace Hardware to produce 250,000 wood sticks...they are still looking for a company to produce 250,000 little white flags.

:lfao: Never heard this one before. Nice.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Yes, Free French forces did participate in D Day.

These included 2 cruisers (the Montcalm and Georges Leygues), 7 destroyers and escorts, and the old battleship Courbet which was used as a block ship.

Two commando troops landed with the British at Oiutreham.... as I recall they may have been shown in the movie "The Longest Day". French Commandos stormed the Casino at Riva Bella.

Then there were the French resistance attacks on the Germans, mostly focusing on impeding the Germans from getting reinforcements to Normandy. Mass murders by the SS in Tulle and Oradour resulted.

Cool info. Thanks!

 

[exile]

Yes, Free French forces did participate in D Day.

I know—my mother's cousin was with them. He was a Free French paratrooper who'd spent much of the war in North Africa and returned with de Gaulle. And if you want to hear scathing contempt for the regular French army (and for the comfortable bourgeousie, who'd just as soon the resistance would go away so they could enjoy the occupation in peace), you'd do well to sit down and listen to him for a couple of hours.

I understand his contempt. Andre Malraux, the soi-disant Marxist anti-Facist intellectual, with all of his Man's Fate credentials, was married to a Jewish woman and basically abandoned her to the SS when it appeared it would be, um, inconvenient to do otherwise. Sartre, another `resistance' braggart, appears to have spent most of the war sitting in cafés musing about nothingness. My mother's cousin once called France `a nation of collaborators' and everything I've heard since tends to make me think he was saying the exact truth...

 

[Josh]

I'm not an admirer of the French but the bottom line is:

The American Revolution would not have succeeded if it was not for the French. Twist it however you want but it does not change that fact.

Yep. And all of the French bashing (freedom fries, using words like "frog" and assuming the French are weak) really pisses me off. My first language was French and it was all that my grandparents knew. My grandfather was part of the French resistance in WW2. Martial Artists especially shouldnt engage in ethnic sterotypes. it's really immature and uninformed IMO. Ask a few Savate practitioners if they are weak.

I really, REALLY got angry in school when I was made fun of for being French. It seems to be one of the few remaining acceptable prejudices in the United States. I would sit here and defend the French military but it's pointless. No one wants to talk about how we probably would not have deafeated the Brittish in the Revolution without them. I hear a lot about ww2. It's really REALLY easy to bash France for losing so quickly (in the begining) to the Germans. But does that make every OTHER country that was conqured by the Nazis weak? Please.
America was seperated by the Atlantic from them. (Nazis)
If France is a country that 'gives up" then you must assume then that EVERY country in Europe that was taken over in ww2 is a bunch of quitters.

that is my view on this whole thing (though im not offended by this thread) because I have a sense of humor.. I am just telling you how it is growing up in a French household in the middle of America, especially post 9/11.

By the way..
If anyone wants to say that the French as Individuals are weak or cowardly. They are more than welcome to do more than just Neg rep me without signing it like a coward. If you want to have that level of prejudice (im not saying anyone does) but if you do, Please PM me so we can arrange a set up so you can say it to my face, and then get knocked the ***** out.
I'm so tired of the Anti- French Bs. Don't be a coward and neg rep me. I DIDNT say anything offensive. If you have a problem, take it to me openly.

My 2 cents.

Funny thread though, I enjoyed it.

Respectfully,

Josh

 

[Blotan Hunka]

Q. Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?

A. Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.