Being tactful and using magic words

[Hong Kong Pooey]

As a matter of fact you were right, my birthday is on December 25th, Christmas Day. And no, she did not call me any of the stuff that you mentioned. Rather she called me "Christmas baby," which I have heard before and I am quite sick of it. I am tired about people making comments about my birthday in general but I especially am tired of being called "Christmas baby." Sometimes people get fed up with stuff like that, I once knew this girl with the name Robin and she would get really fed up and offended whenever somebody made a "Batman and Robin," joke about her name because she had been hearing it all her life. And from my experience there are some benefits to being born on Christmas, you do get double the presents and you celebrate Christmas and your birthday all in one day, but the downside of it is that people comment about it because you have a birthday that sticks out. If I had a birthday on an ordinary day, such as July 15 (I don't know if July 15 means anything to anybody, its just a date I came up with at random that as far as I know isn't a holiday) than people would say nothing. But since my birthday is on a major holiday, I get comments about it often when somebody needs to know my DOB for whatever reason such as if Im buying age restricted products. It gets tiring after awhile. And there is a way to let people know that you don't like what they're doing and still be polite about it, thats what being tactful is all about.

Can I just clarify a few things please?

You do realise that when you were born on Christmas Day, at that time you were an actual baby?

And that is what people are referring to when they say Christmas baby?

And that no-one is actually suggesting you are a baby now when they make the CB comment?

It's only when you start these threads about how offended you are by some banal, mundane and entirely trivial aspects of everyday life and basic human interactions that people on here feel the need to call you a baby, as Dirty Dog so eloquently demonstrated!

 

[Hong Kong Pooey]

One more question please...

We've covered the being tactful part, but I haven't seen any reference to the magic words you mentioned in the title and I'm terribly curious to know what they might be?

Abracadabra? Alakazam?

 

[Tony Dismukes]

Speaking of tactless people, who does this scrawny little brit John Oliver think he is, calling us proud Norwegians freakish snow people???
John Oliver Has A Plan To Save The 2022 Winter Olympics | SportsGrid

Tez, I suggest a trade. You will bring me this Oliver person, bound and gagged, and I will give you that norwegian athlete you fancy (forgot his name so please refresh my memory). I`ll have him bathed, perfumed and delivered to your tent naturally. Deal?

John Oliver has lived in the U.S. for some years now, so it's no good negotiating with Tez for his delivery. You'll have to offer something to one of us Yanks. I'm a big fan of his, so you'll have to offer me something really good in exchange.

 

[Cirdan]

John Oliver has lived in the U.S. for some years now, so it's no good negotiating with Tez for his delivery. You'll have to offer something to one of us Yanks. I'm a big fan of his, so you'll have to offer me something really good in exchange.

Hoo-kay. How `bout a barrel of lutefisk and a crash course in Viking Berzerker Fighting? Guaranteed BB test in a seedy strip bar as the final lesson.

 

[donald1]

One more question please...

We've covered the being tactful part, but I haven't seen any reference to the magic words you mentioned in the title and I'm terribly curious to know what they might be?

Abracadabra? Alakazam?

Hocus pocus, tontus tabantus, vade celeriter jubeo! :lfao:

If magic is what we're talking about then;
One coin here, one coin there Prosperity is everywhere I need some wealth, Financial health I just need my share

 

[elder999]

As a matter of fact you were right, my birthday is on December 25th, Christmas Day..

Big deal. Try Feb. 29th. I've got a friend from elementary school who has had all of 13 actual birthdays since he was born.

We're both 54, but you could say Bob is only 13.....:lfao:

"Photon": low mass/high energy....or, if you prefer, no substance, big flash. :lfao:

 

[jezr74]

For what it's worth PG, I like your posts, some are from different perspectives than me.

I honestly don't understand why people are getting worked up over them.

 

[Dirty Dog]

Big deal. Try Feb. 29th. I've got a friend from elementary school who has had all of 13 actual birthdays since he was born.

We're both 54, but you could say Bob is only 13.....:lfao:

"Photon": low mass/high energy....or, if you prefer, no substance, big flash. :lfao:

One of my (eight) grandchildren is a Leap Baby. And just like my brother is still called a Christmas Baby, I expect he'll be called a Leaper all his life. And if he gets snippy about it, his grandpa will tweak his ear a bit...

 

[Tez3]

For what it's worth PG, I like your posts, some are from different perspectives than me.

I honestly don't understand why people are getting worked up over them.

We aren't getting 'worked up' just answering them. To get 'worked up' would imply more interest than we actually have. What happens is he posts something up, usually a question, we answer, he reiterates what he's said before, we answer, he carries on repeating inaccuracies so we tell him again.
In this instance he was being rude about a probably very nice hard working lady who had the misfortune to be nice to him. I have a friend in hospital missing half a lung now as tumours were removed, he's cracking jokes, bad ones, on FB he's not shimphing about a shop assistant so yes Photon does get a bit of stick, we aren't a bunch of people who want to hear people's little moans and groans about what goes on in their head.

 

[Chris Parker]

And why doesn't it?

Because none of it meant anything at all… it's your personal experience, but has no bearing whatsoever on the topic, your behaviour, your approach, and so on.

The world is not about you.

There are ways to be blunt and still not offend people or make them upset or angry. I like Cambridge definition of what it means to be tactful given by Tez3. How you act on this board, not just towards me but towards other people as well, you sometimes say stuff that can really set people off and there is no reason to say some of the stuff you do. You can make your point without saying some of the stuff you say which might be offensive. And besides, I thought there were rules here against such stuff.

Yeah… you really miss the point of not only what I say, but how I say it… I'm blunt when I feel that it's necessary to get a point across… but here's the point. Tact does not equal being polite… nor does it equal complaining when it was an over-reaction to something that, frankly, was meant to be friendly… tact is based on an understanding of the social situation… which is something that you are showing no grasp of whatsoever.

As far as my behaviour on this board, you might want to look a little closer at what I say… and how you respond. I mean, you've made how many veiled attacks on myself? And yes, there are rules… but you seem to miss them yourself a fair bit.

I know birthdays serve no significant importance, but why not they make people happy

Eh, it's just not a special day to me… I have no issues with others celebrating theirs, I just have no interest in wasting the effort with mine, that's all (well… there's more, but it's thoroughly unimportant here).

 

[jezr74]

It's more about PG posts in general. He seems to get pounced on fast. And some of the reason's seem trivial to me.

This post, I personally would not be putting in a complaint to management.

 

[Tez3]

It's more about PG posts in general. He seems to get pounced on fast. And some of the reason's seem trivial to me.

This post, I personally would not be putting in a complaint to management.

Perhaps it's the feeling that we are being used or perhaps even played. He isn't pounced on that fast, looking at the posts this has been going on for a while and all the initial replies were helpful and kind, then when all the same things were being asked people got less patient.

 

[Hong Kong Pooey]

For what it's worth PG, I like your posts, some are from different perspectives than me.

I honestly don't understand why people are getting worked up over them.

I too am a fan of his work and find some of the threads he starts and the responses they elicit highly entertaining. I hope he continues to grace us with his presence and provide valuable insights into his unique perspective of how the world should be.

This is my personal favourite, so far:

http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/29-locker-room-bar-grill/116132-requirements-having-names.html

 

[elder999]

I too am a fan of his work and find some of the threads he starts and the responses they elicit highly entertaining. I hope he continues to grace us with his presence and provide valuable insights into his unique perspective of how the world should be.

This is my personal favourite, so far:

http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/29-locker-room-bar-grill/116132-requirements-having-names.html

Yeah.....good times! :lfao:

 

[Carol]

Interesting thing about the day of the year we were born. If you have 70 people in a room, there is over a 99% probability that at least two of them will have the same day of the year as their birthday. Try it all you want, I have yet to see it fail. I always find that really interesting, but, I'm easily amused.

Perhaps a different tactic to take when a gal mentions you're a Christmas baby is to reply kinda like this, "Santa told me I'll someday be a present for a beautiful woman like yourself." If she IS beautiful, she just might remember you or at least take notice. If she isn't beautiful, you just might make her day. It's always nice to make someone's day. It usually makes you feel better, too.

Turning a negative in to a positive can be a very cool thing. I hated my name and birthday growing up. My parents were WWII generation, and Carol was a rather trendy name....during their day, but not now. If we sang Christmas carols in class or in church, I got a fair amount of grief from that....but it seemed to be worse at home, as my mother would proclaim "You're our Christmas Carol!" over and over again.

But getting older, my view changed. Today, unfortunately, I had to take a dear friend to the hospital after she injured herself while hiking with me. At one point ere must have been at least two other ladies named "Jennifer" within earshot, including one of the nurses. So every time I would hear "Jennifer" or "Jenn" being spoken I would bolt upright, only to realize they were not talking about us. That's not the case with a name like "Carol". It's unusual, but not so odd that people trip over saying it.

I turned my mother's saying in to an icebreaker and mnemonic. I have Hibernian looks, so If I meet someone new - especially at a party or gathering where many strangers are getting to know one another - I'll often say something like "Carol. As in, Irish Christmas Carol". It's a little smoother than "Carol the redhead"




Sent from my tinfoil hat.

 

[ballen0351]

Turning a negative in to a positive can be a very cool thing. I hated my name and birthday growing up. My parents were WWII generation, and Carol was a rather trendy name....during their day, but not now. If we sang Christmas carols in class or in church, I got a fair amount of grief from that....but it seemed to be worse at home, as my mother would proclaim "You're our Christmas Carol!" over and over again.

But getting older, my view changed. Today, unfortunately, I had to take a dear friend to the hospital after she injured herself while hiking with me. At one point ere must have been at least two other ladies named "Jennifer" within earshot, including one of the nurses. So every time I would hear "Jennifer" or "Jenn" being spoken I would bolt upright, only to realize they were not talking about us. That's not the case with a name like "Carol". It's unusual, but not so odd that people trip over saying it.

I turned my mother's saying in to an icebreaker and mnemonic. I have Hibernian looks, so If I meet someone new - especially at a party or gathering where many strangers are getting to know one another - I'll often say something like "Carol. As in, Irish Christmas Carol". It's a little smoother than "Carol the redhead"




Sent from my tinfoil hat.

My first name is Ben do you know how many "Ben Gay" jokes I got growing up. On a funny side note we call one of our co-workers Carol. His first day on the street he gets sent to a DOA call and the woman's name was Carol. He was trying to be compassionate to the family and ju st kept making strange comments to them using her name over and over. Things like "Carol was taken too soon." "Carol was loved" "Carol will be missed" He never met her a day in his life and spoke like she raised him so he's now and forever known as Carol.

 

[ballen0351]

Speaking of annoying comments when will people realize "I didn't do it" or "he's over there" is said to me 20 times a day when I walk into any place of business to get a drink or lunch or for what ever while Im in uniform. Your not funny or witty. Also on the off chance the girl where I get my coffee (you know who you are) is reading this you say "It was me" EVERY SINGLE TIME I walk in its going on years now PLEASE get some new material

 

[Dirty Dog]

Speaking of annoying comments when will people realize "I didn't do it" or "he's over there" is said to me 20 times a day when I walk into any place of business to get a drink or lunch or for what ever while Im in uniform. Your not funny or witty. Also on the off chance the girl where I get my coffee (you know who you are) is reading this you say "It was me" EVERY SINGLE TIME I walk in its going on years now PLEASE get some new material

It wasn't me...

 

[ballen0351]

It wasn't me...

Are there any stupid "jokes" people say to you 10 times a day? I'm sure there must be. People are sp proud of themselves like they are the first ones to ever say it.

 

[donald1]

I don't know, don't pay attention enough to notice but I do hear this often; it's not my fault (random excuse)