A girl who looks silly while doing Martial Art

[mamama]

Hey sup fellow martial arts lovers!

So I have been training in Hapkido class for 4 months since I entered uni. Still clueless how a girl who never in her life thought that martial arts will ever have any relations with her ended up actually enjoying herself so much while learning though. It wasn't any of my plans at all when I first joined. Somehow a friend managed to pull me in for the try out week and later I thought it was a pretty cool and good, the fact that it forces me to do so much cardio and physical activities sort of turned me on and till now I really love when Im learning those techniques and ofc the feeling after that.

However, I really find myself so silly when it comes to learning something new. There are majorities of guys in my class and they learn really well. My self-egoism always reminds me not to give people the impression that you're weak. So in the class I always try my best to focus and practise as much as possible. I usually stay for more than half an hour everytime after the class ends to do catch-ups. The other guys in the class have been really nice and helpful in helping me learn. But I think 'Im shy :lfao: so I always feel bad for bothering them to help me, i mean, i guess they need their own time to practise and improve their skills too I dont think this's fair for them.

4 months have passed and I still can't really do proper front break fall, not to say side break fall that's even worse. And also those basic grabbing techniques, I could do them when the sensei showed me how. But the next lesson, I will forget and need my partner to remind me again. #ultra sigh#

I really dont want to sound like a person who whine a lot and walking around with a chip on the shoulder. But sometimes I feel so intimidated and start thinking that it might be a bit too late for me to start learning a completely new martial art. Giving up will be the last thing I wanna consider. But you know the depressing feeling when you spend so much money, time, commitment on something you like but you dont see something coming back.

If you guys have any advice or words for me please comment below? I'd like to know how can I improve myself Or share with me any of your stories in martial arts.

P/s: Im always the one who can't find a partner when we have to partner up for some techniques. And and, Idk if it's just me but every time, literally EVERY TIME when it comes to sparring, I feel like guys always take it easy on me, and sometimes with an easy smile on their face! :wah::wah::wah: A question for all the guys, what do you guys think when you have to spar with a girl or being partner up with an opposite gender, would you guys really think it's a big NONO?

From,
An upset girl who wants to perform better

 

[arnisador]

As my first karate instructor always said: "The only battle is to improve yourself." So, how long it takes doesn't matter! Stick with it. You'll hit your stride and then be surprised as it all falls into place.

I'll be honest with you: My experience has been that 95% of the time when a woman says to go all-out and spar with her as though she were a man, in no time at all she's complaining that I'm going too hard. I just don't do it. (Exception: Grappling systems.) Sorry!

 

[Cyriacus]

Hey sup fellow martial arts lovers!

Hi.

So I have been training in Hapkido class for 4 months since I entered uni. Still clueless how a girl who never in her life thought that martial arts will ever have any relations with her ended up actually enjoying herself so much while learning though. It wasn't any of my plans at all when I first joined. Somehow a friend managed to pull me in for the try out week and later I thought it was a pretty cool and good, the fact that it forces me to do so much cardio and physical activities sort of turned me on and till now I really love when Im learning those techniques and ofc the feeling after that.

Aha.

However, I really find myself so silly when it comes to learning something new. There are majorities of guys in my class and they learn really well. My self-egoism always reminds me not to give people the impression that you're weak. So in the class I always try my best to focus and practise as much as possible. I usually stay for more than half an hour everytime after the class ends to do catch-ups. The other guys in the class have been really nice and helpful in helping me learn. But I think 'Im shy :lfao: so I always feel bad for bothering them to help me, i mean, i guess they need their own time to practise and improve their skills too I dont think this's fair for them.

Youre not bothering them when you ask them to help you. If theyre good teachers, theyll relish in the chance to help one of their students improve.

4 months have passed and I still can't really do proper front break fall, not to say side break fall that's even worse. And also those basic grabbing techniques, I could do them when the sensei showed me how. But the next lesson, I will forget and need my partner to remind me again. #ultra sigh#

Ive been trying to learn breakfalls for three years. Yeah. As for memory, force of repetition should fix that.

I really dont want to sound like a person who whine a lot and walking around with a chip on the shoulder. But sometimes I feel so intimidated and start thinking that it might be a bit too late for me to start learning a completely new martial art. Giving up will be the last thing I wanna consider. But you know the depressing feeling when you spend so much money, time, commitment on something you like but you dont see something coming back.

Stop looking at it as spending time, money, and commitment on it. Time, money, and commitment are your expenditure. Measure it by what you do gain. If you want to see more coming back, train harder. Not longer, harder. If you can find a pleasantly insane training partner who doesnt mind doing the same drill about two hundred times, and that is not an exaggeration, all the better.

If you guys have any advice or words for me please comment below? I'd like to know how can I improve myself Or share with me any of your stories in martial arts.

Heres a story. Im not a jumpy person. I weigh 63kg, im young, but im very rooted to the ground. Two years of training, and boom. Jumping around gleefully.

P/s: Im always the one who can't find a partner when we have to partner up for some techniques. And and, Idk if it's just me but every time, literally EVERY TIME when it comes to sparring, I feel like guys always take it easy on me, and sometimes with an easy smile on their face! :wah::wah::wah: A question for all the guys, what do you guys think when you have to spar with a girl or being partner up with an opposite gender, would you guys really think it's a big NONO?

And youre now speaking to someone who often has trouble finding a partner because the people who like going as hard as i do are fewer than those who like to go at a medium pace. If you dont want them to take it easy on you, TELL THEM. Would you prefer they went harder on you just because of your gender? Its no different to going softer. Its not that they dont want to hurt you, its that they dont know how to train with you. So tell them HOW you want them to train with you, and i have no doubt theyll accomodate you.
But, dont get upset if it hurts, because if they do start going hard, it isnt going to be an enjoyable or pleasant experience for you. You either learn to deal with it and enjoy it, or you dont. Some people can, some people cant, and theres no shame in that.

From,
An upset girl who wants to perform better

Good luck with that

 

[bluewaveschool]

As a student with only 4 months experience, I wouldn't go hard at you. Any high rank knows that what you need at this point is to work your technique and build confidence sparring. That doesn't come from being beat on. I have a female black belt under me, I'll go at it with her. I know if I mess up she'll make me pay.

 

[Dirty Dog]

Hey sup fellow martial arts lovers!

So I have been training in Hapkido class for 4 months since I entered uni. Still clueless how a girl who never in her life thought that martial arts will ever have any relations with her ended up actually enjoying herself so much while learning though. It wasn't any of my plans at all when I first joined. Somehow a friend managed to pull me in for the try out week and later I thought it was a pretty cool and good, the fact that it forces me to do so much cardio and physical activities sort of turned me on and till now I really love when Im learning those techniques and ofc the feeling after that.

However, I really find myself so silly when it comes to learning something new. There are majorities of guys in my class and they learn really well. My self-egoism always reminds me not to give people the impression that you're weak. So in the class I always try my best to focus and practise as much as possible. I usually stay for more than half an hour everytime after the class ends to do catch-ups. The other guys in the class have been really nice and helpful in helping me learn. But I think 'Im shy :lfao: so I always feel bad for bothering them to help me, i mean, i guess they need their own time to practise and improve their skills too I dont think this's fair for them.

Teaching is an excellent way to learn. If the guys don't know that, they need to learn it.

4 months have passed and I still can't really do proper front break fall, not to say side break fall that's even worse. And also those basic grabbing techniques, I could do them when the sensei showed me how. But the next lesson, I will forget and need my partner to remind me again. #ultra sigh#

You have to be shown something more than once to learn it??????

Congratulations. You're normal.

I really dont want to sound like a person who whine a lot and walking around with a chip on the shoulder. But sometimes I feel so intimidated and start thinking that it might be a bit too late for me to start learning a completely new martial art. Giving up will be the last thing I wanna consider. But you know the depressing feeling when you spend so much money, time, commitment on something you like but you dont see something coming back.

Martial Arts do provide an immediate return on investment (notably the time you invest), and you've written about it right up there at the top of your post. If you're expecting to master even the simplest aspects of your art in a mere four months, then the problem is with your expectations. Relax. You'll learn as you learn. There's no way to "cram" for a martial arts class.

If you guys have any advice or words for me please comment below? I'd like to know how can I improve myself Or share with me any of your stories in martial arts.

Advice? Keep training. Do you best. And then try to do a little bit better.

P/s: Im always the one who can't find a partner when we have to partner up for some techniques. And and, Idk if it's just me but every time, literally EVERY TIME when it comes to sparring, I feel like guys always take it easy on me, and sometimes with an easy smile on their face! :wah::wah::wah: A question for all the guys, what do you guys think when you have to spar with a girl or being partner up with an opposite gender, would you guys really think it's a big NONO?

From,
An upset girl who wants to perform better

I spar with students of all ages, genders and ranks. This week I spent a fair bit of time sparring with a 17 year old yellow belt. Why? Because he's 6'7" and if he only spars others his own age/rank, he forgets to block his head, simply because they can't reach it. I spar with him from time to time to remind him of the importance of protecting your head.
Sparring is part of how we teach. At our school, the custom for adults and advanced students is that the level of contact is determined by mutual agreement or simply by how hard the lower ranked person is going. If that yellow belt wants to go full force, fine. If that female black belt wants to go moderate contact, also fine.
If the guys aren't going hard enough to suit you, then tell them so. And, more importantly, SHOW them, by stepping up your own level.

As for smiles... I smile all the time when I spar. Mostly because it's freaking FUN.

 

[bluewaveschool]

I usually smile when I spar. Except for tonight vs another BB, because I needed to let off some steam after having a pretty rough week.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Ok, a few things.
1: Don't worry too much about asking people for help, I know that I personally love helping people out..it gives me a chance to make sure I know exactly what I'm doing, plus its just kind of nice. If they want to work on themselves, they'll let you know, or come early/practice at home to do so.
2: You've been practicing for four months? How much longer has everyone else there been practicing? I'm going to assume it's longer then you. If so, thats why they catch onto things quicker then you, they already have the movements and the style ingrained in themselves, with time experience and practice you'll eventually find the same thing happening to you. Don't worry too much if it takes a bit to get things.
3: Yes, they probably are going easy on you, no it's not because you're a girl. It's because you're still new, you have 4 months of experience. Many people feel like they should go easy on people with less experience, I do the same things. There are guys and girls who I go easy on, and other guys and girls I go as hard as I possibly can.
4: Yes, they probably are smiling. I smile whenever I fight, it's fun as hell. A friend of mine came to a lesson at my dojo and said he'd never seen me smile as much in my entire life..I didn't even know I was smiling. So, the smile isn't making fun of you, its most likely a genuine smile.

Relax, have fun and dont worry so much. Most likely, they're not looking down on you cause you're a girl (if they are they should meet some of the girls I know), and you'll learn as you go along

 

[WC_lun]

I've met three VERY good fighters in my time that have been women. Compare that to four or five that have been men. Your gender does not limit your ability, only that you will face stronger and heavier sparring partners, so you MUST train dilegenly to make up in skill for thier natural attributes. It would be very unwise to take any woman lightly in a sparring ring.

As for the rest, the pressure you are feeling is one of your own making. Suppose you were teaching, would you be so hard on a student that has your same weaknesses? Or instead would you relate to them knowing that you had those same issues at one time. I have news for you, your instructors, if they are worth anything, are relating to you. Sure they'll push you, but that is thier job to make you better. Those fellows that find it easy, never tasting the bitter of training, rarely experience the true sweetness of when everything comes together.

 

[mamama]

As my first karate instructor always said: "The only battle is to improve yourself." So, how long it takes doesn't matter! Stick with it. You'll hit your stride and then be surprised as it all falls into place.

Absolutely, there are a lot of skills that I still need to work on. i just can't wait sometimes till the day I really feel like i've achieved something.

I'll be honest with you: My experience has been that 95% of the time when a woman says to go all-out and spar with her as though she were a man, in no time at all she's complaining that I'm going too hard. I just don't do it. (Exception: Grappling systems.) Sorry!

Haha! I would say to go all out on girls won't really be a good idea though as guys generally have the upper hand in physical strength. What girls want is just the feeling of being respected by an opponent may it be a girl or guy Take care!

 

[Cirdan]

P/s: Im always the one who can't find a partner when we have to partner up for some techniques. And and, Idk if it's just me but every time, literally EVERY TIME when it comes to sparring, I feel like guys always take it easy on me, and sometimes with an easy smile on their face! :wah::wah::wah: A question for all the guys, what do you guys think when you have to spar with a girl or being partner up with an opposite gender, would you guys really think it's a big NONO?

I spar girls just like I spar guys, there is nothing special about it. The things to consider is the partner`s age, size and skill level.

Just relax and enjoy your training, progress comes over time. Keep asking questions, good instructors like nothing better than a white belt who cares enough to ask.

 

[mamama]

Hi.


Aha.


Youre not bothering them when you ask them to help you. If theyre good teachers, theyll relish in the chance to help one of their students improve.



Ive been trying to learn breakfalls for three years. Yeah. As for memory, force of repetition should fix that.



Stop looking at it as spending time, money, and commitment on it. Time, money, and commitment are your expenditure. Measure it by what you do gain. If you want to see more coming back, train harder. Not longer, harder. If you can find a pleasantly insane training partner who doesnt mind doing the same drill about two hundred times, and that is not an exaggeration, all the better.



Heres a story. Im not a jumpy person. I weigh 63kg, im young, but im very rooted to the ground. Two years of training, and boom. Jumping around gleefully.



And youre now speaking to someone who often has trouble finding a partner because the people who like going as hard as i do are fewer than those who like to go at a medium pace. If you dont want them to take it easy on you, TELL THEM. Would you prefer they went harder on you just because of your gender? Its no different to going softer. Its not that they dont want to hurt you, its that they dont know how to train with you. So tell them HOW you want them to train with you, and i have no doubt theyll accomodate you.
But, dont get upset if it hurts, because if they do start going hard, it isnt going to be an enjoyable or pleasant experience for you. You either learn to deal with it and enjoy it, or you dont. Some people can, some people cant, and theres no shame in that.


Good luck with that

I envy you. Seems like taking martial art class has get you into good shape! That's glad to hear

And youre now speaking to someone who often has trouble finding a partner because the people who like going as hard as i do are fewer than those who like to go at a medium pace. If you dont want them to take it easy on you, TELL THEM. Would you prefer they went harder on you just because of your gender? Its no different to going softer. Its not that they dont want to hurt you, its that they dont know how to train with you. So tell them HOW you want them to train with you, and i have no doubt theyll accomodate you.
But, dont get upset if it hurts, because if they do start going hard, it isnt going to be an enjoyable or pleasant experience for you. You either learn to deal with it and enjoy it, or you dont. Some people can, some people cant, and theres no shame in that.

You got a good point here. Sometimes people just dont know what's your level of acceptance and that's right, different people will have their own preferable paces. I used to go all-out and go to really high speed whenever we sparred because I think that's how I show that I am respecting my partner. Probably next time a little collaboration beforehand will be good, who knows Thank you very much for your response and take care!

 

[mamama]

As a student with only 4 months experience, I wouldn't go hard at you. Any high rank knows that what you need at this point is to work your technique and build confidence sparring. That doesn't come from being beat on. I have a female black belt under me, I'll go at it with her. I know if I mess up she'll make me pay.

Yeah I have always been really appreciative of all the supports and helps that the other higher ranks have given me in fact im pretty sure that all the beginners will think the same as I do. Haha! Isn't that a cool stuff to have a sparring opponent that challenges you to the max. Have fun in your class and take care!

 

[mamama]

Teaching is an excellent way to learn. If the guys don't know that, they need to learn it.




You have to be shown something more than once to learn it??????

Congratulations. You're normal.




Martial Arts do provide an immediate return on investment (notably the time you invest), and you've written about it right up there at the top of your post. If you're expecting to master even the simplest aspects of your art in a mere four months, then the problem is with your expectations. Relax. You'll learn as you learn. There's no way to "cram" for a martial arts class.



Advice? Keep training. Do you best. And then try to do a little bit better.



I spar with students of all ages, genders and ranks. This week I spent a fair bit of time sparring with a 17 year old yellow belt. Why? Because he's 6'7" and if he only spars others his own age/rank, he forgets to block his head, simply because they can't reach it. I spar with him from time to time to remind him of the importance of protecting your head.
Sparring is part of how we teach. At our school, the custom for adults and advanced students is that the level of contact is determined by mutual agreement or simply by how hard the lower ranked person is going. If that yellow belt wants to go full force, fine. If that female black belt wants to go moderate contact, also fine.
If the guys aren't going hard enough to suit you, then tell them so. And, more importantly, SHOW them, by stepping up your own level.

As for smiles... I smile all the time when I spar. Mostly because it's freaking FUN.

You have to be shown something more than once to learn it??????

Congratulations. You're normal.

Haha thanks dude! That does make me feel a lot better.

I spar with students of all ages, genders and ranks. This week I spent a fair bit of time sparring with a 17 year old yellow belt. Why? Because he's 6'7" and if he only spars others his own age/rank, he forgets to block his head, simply because they can't reach it. I spar with him from time to time to remind him of the importance of protecting your head.
Sparring is part of how we teach. At our school, the custom for adults and advanced students is that the level of contact is determined by mutual agreement or simply by how hard the lower ranked person is going. If that yellow belt wants to go full force, fine. If that female black belt wants to go moderate contact, also fine.
If the guys aren't going hard enough to suit you, then tell them so. And, more importantly, SHOW them, by stepping up your own level.

As for smiles... I smile all the time when I spar. Mostly because it's freaking FUN.

I hope I guess it right, so you're an instructor in your martial art class? In my class our instructor normally don't spar with students themselves (we have 2 different instructors each for a different class every week) but instead they go around and supervise us just in case we might need to be corrected here and there during sparring, grabbing or any forms of other techniques. But yeah, I totally agree with you! Sparring is super fun although it's also tiring. I just wonder how can people still smile when I am almost dying to throw punches and kicks. :rofl Thanks for sharing though and take care there

 

[mamama]

I usually smile when I spar. Except for tonight vs another BB, because I needed to let off some steam after having a pretty rough week.

I hope that makes you feel better after that eh? I can't help but notice that every time after my hapkido class Im usually happier and more cheerful than before. LOL
P/s: I just came back from my martial art class 3 hours ago and the class just now was totally fun. Were introduced to swords and striking techniques Take care and have fun in your martial art class!

 

[mamama]

Ok, a few things.
1: Don't worry too much about asking people for help, I know that I personally love helping people out..it gives me a chance to make sure I know exactly what I'm doing, plus its just kind of nice. If they want to work on themselves, they'll let you know, or come early/practice at home to do so.
2: You've been practicing for four months? How much longer has everyone else there been practicing? I'm going to assume it's longer then you. If so, thats why they catch onto things quicker then you, they already have the movements and the style ingrained in themselves, with time experience and practice you'll eventually find the same thing happening to you. Don't worry too much if it takes a bit to get things.
3: Yes, they probably are going easy on you, no it's not because you're a girl. It's because you're still new, you have 4 months of experience. Many people feel like they should go easy on people with less experience, I do the same things. There are guys and girls who I go easy on, and other guys and girls I go as hard as I possibly can.
4: Yes, they probably are smiling. I smile whenever I fight, it's fun as hell. A friend of mine came to a lesson at my dojo and said he'd never seen me smile as much in my entire life..I didn't even know I was smiling. So, the smile isn't making fun of you, its most likely a genuine smile.

Relax, have fun and dont worry so much. Most likely, they're not looking down on you cause you're a girl (if they are they should meet some of the girls I know), and you'll learn as you go along

1: Don't worry too much about asking people for help, I know that I personally love helping people out..it gives me a chance to make sure I know exactly what I'm doing, plus its just kind of nice. If they want to work on themselves, they'll let you know, or come early/practice at home to do so.

Naawww! Can there be any nicer to have someone like you who loves helping people around in the martial art class! Don't stop being helpful, people will really appreciate you for that!

2. In my class, most of them are just white or yellow belts. But Im pretty sure some (or most) of them already have really good basic in other forms of martial arts. Haha! I think I'm just feeling sorry and stupid when im taught several times but still im still unclear with some techniques. Break fall always make me depressed

3. Hahaha wow I see! If it's not cause of this thread I really will never know that there are a lot of guys like you who literally SMILE while sparring. I thought they were laughing the hell out of me inside their mind and that's how I got a little upset sometimes despite I have been giving all-out. I remembered 2 weeks ago instead of the normal partner up, we have 3 people in a group. So me and another taller girl was sparring against this giant guy he's 6ft and im 5'0 ft, and whenever I approached him he just kinda blocked me and give me a gentle push away and I had no chance at all to even fight. Duuh! That kinda pissed me off for a night :rpo::rpo: haha!

So here's a question for you, would you mind if you find that your opponent is going all out on you and be a little aggressive (let's say she/he is not that good as you) or you'll be happy to take it? Thanks for your response though, take care!

 

[Cyriacus]

I envy you. Seems like taking martial art class has get you into good shape! That's glad to hear

Thanks

You got a good point here. Sometimes people just dont know what's your level of acceptance and that's right, different people will have their own preferable paces. I used to go all-out and go to really high speed whenever we sparred because I think that's how I show that I am respecting my partner. Probably next time a little collaboration beforehand will be good, who knows Thank you very much for your response and take care!

The best way to do it is to keep it simple - Just ask them if they mind going full on, or if theyd prefer to keep it a bit more balanced. If it comes as you asking them if THEY want to go hard at it, thats more... i dont know a good word for it, friendlier? Than 'correcting' them. And if they dont go harder, just tell them to come on and hit you. Of course, then theyll probably do it, which comes back to having to be prepared for that. Either way, just try and partner yourself up with roughneck types. What could possibly go wrong.

 

[mamama]

I've met three VERY good fighters in my time that have been women. Compare that to four or five that have been men. Your gender does not limit your ability, only that you will face stronger and heavier sparring partners, so you MUST train dilegenly to make up in skill for thier natural attributes. It would be very unwise to take any woman lightly in a sparring ring.

As for the rest, the pressure you are feeling is one of your own making. Suppose you were teaching, would you be so hard on a student that has your same weaknesses? Or instead would you relate to them knowing that you had those same issues at one time. I have news for you, your instructors, if they are worth anything, are relating to you. Sure they'll push you, but that is thier job to make you better. Those fellows that find it easy, never tasting the bitter of training, rarely experience the true sweetness of when everything comes together.

Thanks for your kind and wise words! They all make sense to me Nah sometimes I just wonder if im really suitable for this martial art, im 5'0 ft and 103lbs people in class have been thought that I'm so fragile LOL! There's once this girl whom I paired up with told me that "hei I thought that you look really small and weak but your grip is so strong", then I realized that I have grabbed her too hard :lool:. For a second I have the thought of giving up Hapkido and change to Jujitsu instead, but I really find myself enjoying my current martial art class a lot :uhohh::uhohh: Anyway, thank you very much for sharing and take care there!

 

[mamama]

I spar girls just like I spar guys, there is nothing special about it. The things to consider is the partner`s age, size and skill level.

Just relax and enjoy your training, progress comes over time. Keep asking questions, good instructors like nothing better than a white belt who cares enough to ask.

Urm how'd you handle a 19 year-old 5'0 ft 103lbs white belt newbie? :uhyeah: Sometimes I find that my instructor actually gives me a lot of time to work things out on my own probably anyone can see that im totally new to all these stuffs. and another thing I want to mention, some techniques are just a little user-unfriendly for short people. I can't help but recall what my instructor commented just now "hmm your arm seems to be a little longer relatives to your height ratio" LOL i just found it funny. :lfao: Take care

 

[Cirdan]

Urm how'd you handle a 19 year-old 5'0 ft 103lbs white belt newbie? :uhyeah:

I`d give her something to work with, encourage loosening up and provide feeback.
Actually I have a friend who fits that bill exactly, she grew into a very competent MAist over the years. Now I really have to watch myself or she will choke me out during randori.

Sometimes I find that my instructor actually gives me a lot of time to work things out on my own probably anyone can see that im totally new to all these stuffs. and another thing I want to mention, some techniques are just a little user-unfriendly for short people. I can't help but recall what my instructor commented just now "hmm your arm seems to be a little longer relatives to your height ratio" LOL i just found it funny. :lfao: Take care

You know, Bruce Lee also had arms a little longer like that

 

[WC_lun]

Mamama, two of those women I mentioned were 100lbs soaking wet Niether would I want to cross and I am 50lbs heavier and been training just as long. Physical attirbutes do make a difference, but do not think skill cannot overcome that. If you enjoy the martial arts, stick with it. Don't let how others progress influence you.