Why Don't Parents Train?

[Gwai Lo Dan]

Reading the thread about the expertise of parents who watch their kids for years (http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=94786) , made me wonder:

Why do so many parents prefer to sit through a TKD class, and not join? I've tried to encourage a few, and the response is sometimes, "I'm too fat" and sometimes it's "I have a bad back". I think the answer for most is "I'm too old" even though they may only be 40.

What reasons have you heard? Do you try to get parents to join?

 

[granfire]

They are embarrassed to try and look foolish. They won't say, but that's pretty much it.

Around here kids and adults have separate schedules, so even if they would like to train, the time they would have to commit to is prohibitive.

But yeah, bad whatever, too fat/old or OH EM GEE, it would cause them to perspire.
To a lot of them it's also something kids do. Got a 'NO' thrown back at me from one mother, in a tone that suggested I had offered her turd....

I forgot to add the 'the dobok makes me look fat' part....as if anybody except Bruce Lee ever looked good in one...

 

[igillman]

There are four major reasons I can think of why parents do not train with their kids.

1) Time - This applies if the adults class and kids class are at different times. It's another hour out of your day that may be pretty full already.

2) Cost - Usually it costs extra to have another family member join the club.

3) Interest - Not everybody is interested in Martial Arts or even getting fit.

4) The way the class is run - Almost all the classes I have seen are run like a military academy and not everybody responds well to the "yes sir, no sir" routine. A lot of adults do not respond well to a teenager ordering them around.

 

[dancingalone]

There are four major reasons I can think of why parents do not train with their kids.

1) Time - This applies if the adults class and kids class are at different times. It's another hour out of your day that may be pretty full already.

2) Cost - Usually it costs extra to have another family member join the club.

3) Interest - Not everybody is interested in Martial Arts or even getting fit.

4) The way the class is run - Almost all the classes I have seen are run like a military academy and not everybody responds well to the "yes sir, no sir" routine. A lot of adults do not respond well to a teenager ordering them around.

Quite a few parents in my TKD class also train with their children. It's fun and rewarding for the entire family to spend time together. I think the key is to not make it too drill instructor-ish and not too kiddie-oriented. Understandably, no adult is going to want to practice in the typical Tiny Tiger class that I've seen.

 

[Bruno@MT]

Adults and kids have different classes. They wouldn't spend time together on the mat anyway. And I think kids and adults should not be in the same class anyway.

And they may do something else. I bring my kids to swimming classes, tumbling and soon ballet as well (that was her reward for getting her 25 meter diploma). I don't swim, tumble or do ballet. I use the time to study Japanese.

 

[puunui]

Adults and kids have different classes. They wouldn't spend time together on the mat anyway. And I think kids and adults should not be in the same class anyway.

A lot of schools have set up "family classes" designed specifically so that parents can train along side with their children, at least once or twice per week.

 

[girlbug2]

An additional reason to those mentioned above may be that people have health issues you don't necessarily know about--bad backs, joints, etc, or any number of possible things.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Reading the thread about the expertise of parents who watch their kids for years (http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=94786) , made me wonder:

Why do so many parents prefer to sit through a TKD class, and not join? I've tried to encourage a few, and the response is sometimes, "I'm too fat" and sometimes it's "I have a bad back". I think the answer for most is "I'm too old" even though they may only be 40.

What reasons have you heard? Do you try to get parents to join?

One big reason is the many adults realize that they can not afford to miss work over a self inflicted injury. Business men and women also find it awkward explaining black eyes. Just using myself as an example, when I see a woman with a black eye and a fat lip, I question her ability to make sound choices; although one woman I know had broken her leg and eaten some pavement just from the slippery conditions of this winter. Perhaps I only question her footwear. LOL
Anyways, the bottom line is there are some serious obstacles in place.
Sean

 

[granfire]

An additional reason to those mentioned above may be that people have health issues you don't necessarily know about--bad backs, joints, etc, or any number of possible things.

true, but a lot of those would go away with training! ^_^

 

[granfire]

One big reason is the many adults realize that they can not afford to miss work over a self inflicted injury. Business men and women also find it awkward explaining black eyes. Just using myself as an example, when I see a woman with a black eye and a fat lip, I question her ability to make sound choices; although one woman I know had broken her leg and eaten some pavement just from the slippery conditions of this winter. Perhaps I only question her footwear. LOL
Anyways, the bottom line is there are some serious obstacles in place.
Sean

LOL!!!

Well, not every style includes black eyes. I know we don't, unless of course you made the bad judgment of running into a hook kick

But the women with a black eye = bad spouse/relationship is not restricted to MA folks. I was lucky that the lumps I did get didn't show.

 

[Touch Of Death]

LOL!!!

Well, not every style includes black eyes. I know we don't, unless of course you made the bad judgment of running into a hook kick

But the women with a black eye = bad spouse/relationship is not restricted to MA folks. I was lucky that the lumps I did get didn't show.

LOL. Its not like we have Black Eye Day at my school either, but accidents happen, and being in TKD, you are probably getting used to favoring one leg or another.
Sean

 

[StudentCarl]

Wow; didn't see the first reason that comes to my mind:

Once people get 'grown up', they find it much harder to be like a kid and fearlessly try something new, getting it wrong repeatedly with no regrets. Kids don't care how they look as a rule, nobody expects them to do well to start with because they're kids.

I'm both a parent and a student, and what I hear most when talking with other parents about training is "I'm too old for that" or "I'm just not good at that kind of thing". None of us are to start with.

If you have a student, of any age, who has the willingness to just try new things...to go first even though they'll probably not get it right the first time or even the first dozen times, you've seen what I mean. I think many adults lose the willingness to be a kid and 'look stupid' again. It's their loss.

I also think that many adults have thought this way for so long that they lack confidence in their bodies to adapt. They're 'old' in the head.

 

[Steve]

Reading the thread about the expertise of parents who watch their kids for years (http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/showthread.php?t=94786) , made me wonder:

Why do so many parents prefer to sit through a TKD class, and not join? I've tried to encourage a few, and the response is sometimes, "I'm too fat" and sometimes it's "I have a bad back". I think the answer for most is "I'm too old" even though they may only be 40.

What reasons have you heard? Do you try to get parents to join?

TKD often ACTIVELY sells itself as daycare, which moves it to a weird inbetween world... not teaching a skill like dance or gymnastics (or violin lessons). It's billing itself as constructive daycare.

Seriously. When you see vans driving around with cartoony kids in black belts kicking the air above taglines that read "A Constructive Alternative to Traditional Daycare," what do you expect?

Edit: just want to add, this isn't a commentary on TKD as a martial art. It's specifically commenting on TKD as a business, and how TKD actively presents itself to parents.

 

[Touch Of Death]

TKD often ACTIVELY sells itself as daycare, which moves it to a weird inbetween world... not teaching a skill like dance or gymnastics (or violin lessons). It's billing itself as constructive daycare.

Seriously. When you see vans driving around with cartoony kids in black belts kicking the air above taglines that read "A Constructive Alternative to Traditional Daycare," what do you expect?

It is the better alternative.

 

[Steve]

It is the better alternative.

What's the alternative and how is TKD better?

Edit, rather than add another post: I took these from my car a couple days ago. If my kids trained at this school, what would make me think that this is in any way appropriate or aimed at any adult?

 

[Gwai Lo Dan]

....I think many adults lose the willingness to be a kid and 'look stupid' again. It's their loss.

I think that is 1 reason why students become better at TKD if they start as children than as adults, even if both the adult and student have say 5 years training.

For instance, before class the kids jump in the air and try a jumping spinning hook kick, while the adults stand around. And I am guilty of that!

 

[Touch Of Death]

What's the alternative and how is TKD better?

Edit, rather than add another post: I took these from my car a couple days ago. If my kids trained at this school, what would make me think that this is in any way appropriate or aimed at any adult?

TKD is a hobby; Daycare is not a hobby. TKD is a discipline; Dacare is not a discipline (although it is more discipline than most kids see at home). I just think it is a better direction. Thats all. And... Don't you listen to Dr. Laura? Daycare is bad.
Sean

 

[hal-apino]

The same reason most parents do not do soccer, cheerleading , football, baseball. I never did simply because this was something my child wanted to do and I had no interest.

 

[Steve]

TKD is a hobby; Daycare is not a hobby. TKD is a discipline; Dacare is not a discipline (although it is more discipline than most kids see at home). I just think it is a better direction. Thats all. And... Don't you listen to Dr. Laura? Daycare is bad.
Sean

What TKD is and isn't is beside the point. If TKD is sold as daycare, TKD... well, is daycare. Before and after school care? Summer day care? It's being sold to parents as daycare. Sorry... a constructive daycare. But a daycare nonetheless.

the point is, with TKD being actively, aggressively advertised as daycare, why would a parent even consider it to be an activity suitable for an adult?

And I don't even know who Dr. Laura is, but if she makes sweeping remarks about daycare, she's an idiot. As with all things, there are good ones and bad, as with everything else. Surrogate parenting has been going on since we started banding together in caves.

Just to be clear, I'm not saying that TKD is or isn't a "constructive alternative." Just that it makes perfect sense that a parent wouldn't take part. That would be like wondering why more parents don't join little league.

 

[Carol]

As an adult, I don't have much interest in the jumping spinning kicks and I flat out refuse to learn to fight with my hands down at my sides. I wouldn't have an issue with enrolling a child in TKD if I had one but the way many schools teach it, it is absolutely not the style for me.