Why Don't Parents Train?

[terryl965]

There's a BJJ school in Fife that advertises birthday parties, too. The school had a rocky start, but the guy who runs it is a legit brown belt.

I don't see that as a sign of good things to come. But BJJ isn't the topic of conversation. What's coming down the road is predictable, if the marketing strategies from TKD are adopted.

The way I see it, the OP identified a pervasive problem, and I believe you guys are refusing to accept that the successful marketing strategy is largely to blame. You're a victim of your own success.

Does this mean that adults don't train? No. I'm sure that in some places, there are yet other marketing strategies that focus on buzzwords like "family" where the school owners put pressure on the parents to join their kids... at a family discount, I'm sure.


For the record, I literally laugh out loud (well, more of a snort of disbelief than a laugh...) when I read a thread from you guys complaining about how parents treat your schools like daycare centers. "They just... drop the kids off and LEAVE!" How could they do that?

You know, I started to quote directly from threads on this board, but there are too many. It's like guys who complain about their love handles while drinking beer and eating hot wings. "I just don't get it. I exercise... but I just can't get rid of this gut! Nothing I do works."

It's obvious what the issue is... whether you want to see it or not. This doesn't mean he should stop enjoying beer and hotwings. The point is, there is a clear cause/effect. It's obvious. There are choices being made.

Steve you are right we are a product of the system we made. I myself have an afterschool program now at the school, my wife and a few other people run it, we had to so we could keep the doors open. Not saying it is right or wrong I fought against it for five years. Parents come by around 6 - 6:30 p.m. and pick there kids up and never give it a second thought. One thing about us though we admit we are doing it to keep them and our doors open. The other thingis this we have a seperate adult class for the more serious adult and we have a family class where parent and kids workout together. They both our doing well but we have marketed to the right groups for each class. We also have our competition team classes that is geared toward Olympic style sparring for those wanting that aspect. My wif ehas a Zumba fitness class that is mainly woman wanting something but does not want a martial art per say. Nobody on this board should ever say we did not do this yes we did we followed and did what was making other people money, I know I did.

 

[ralphmcpherson]

There's a BJJ school in Fife that advertises birthday parties, too. The school had a rocky start, but the guy who runs it is a legit brown belt.

I don't see that as a sign of good things to come. But BJJ isn't the topic of conversation. What's coming down the road is predictable, if the marketing strategies from TKD are adopted.

The way I see it, the OP identified a pervasive problem, and I believe you guys are refusing to accept that the successful marketing strategy is largely to blame. You're a victim of your own success.

Does this mean that adults don't train? No. I'm sure that in some places, there are yet other marketing strategies that focus on buzzwords like "family" where the school owners put pressure on the parents to join their kids... at a family discount, I'm sure.


For the record, I literally laugh out loud (well, more of a snort of disbelief than a laugh...) when I read a thread from you guys complaining about how parents treat your schools like daycare centers. "They just... drop the kids off and LEAVE!" How could they do that?

You know, I started to quote directly from threads on this board, but there are too many. It's like guys who complain about their love handles while drinking beer and eating hot wings. "I just don't get it. I exercise... but I just can't get rid of this gut! Nothing I do works."

It's obvious what the issue is... whether you want to see it or not. This doesn't mean he should stop enjoying beer and hotwings. The point is, there is a clear cause/effect. It's obvious. There are choices being made.

I cant completely agree with this. There are literally hundreds of reasons why parents dont train, one of them may be the way certain schools are marketed, but that is only one reason and only applies to some schools. A friend of mine does zendokai which is a pretty hardcore martial art, not advertised as childcare, in fact they dont advertise at all. Yet, when I went and watched one of their classes the parents still sat at the back and didnt participate. My son's soccer team has heaps of parents sitting on the sidelines and none of them have rushed out to join a soccer team. Go and watch any karate, kung fu, bjj, zendokai, muy thai etc class and you will see a heap of parents watching their kids train with no intentions of training themself. The reason is largely to do with the fact that parents dont want to do MA and not necessarilly the way schools are marketed. The club where I train does not advertise as a child care and aims its curriculum at adults, yet the children who do train there have their parents sitting up the back with no intentions of participating.

 

[Kacey]

Parents don't train, as previously mentioned, because they don't want to - any more than they want to train in gymnastics, or soccer, or debate, or chess, or any other activity that the child is interested in and the parent is not. This is neither good nor bad - it simply is.

Sure, if parents are interested in training with their child - and I've had parents and children do this, all the way to black belt - then they should be encouraged to do so, in a setting that suits their desire, to train either with their child(ren) or in a separate class learning the same things.

I also know several parents who don't want to eclipse their children - one in particular is waiting for her daughters to reach blue belt; at first, she was waiting to make sure they were serious- now that they're both 6th gups, she's waiting so that she doesn't have to worry about catching up to them and making them feel bad. Her daughters are currently 8 and 11, and kids that age don't test as often as adults - and I think her concern is valid, that if she starts and catches up to them, at that age, they might decide to quit coming. I know a family where that actually worked out well - at this point, the 14 year-old daughter just tested for her II Dan, the father is I Dan prepping for his II Dan, and the mother is a 2nd gup. The parents waited, as the mother of the 2 girls is waiting, to make sure that they didn't overrun their daughter in rank when she was too young to understand it emotionally, and I think it was a good decision on their part.

 

[Steve]

I cant completely agree with this. There are literally hundreds of reasons why parents dont train, one of them may be the way certain schools are marketed, but that is only one reason and only applies to some schools. A friend of mine does zendokai which is a pretty hardcore martial art, not advertised as childcare, in fact they dont advertise at all. Yet, when I went and watched one of their classes the parents still sat at the back and didnt participate. My son's soccer team has heaps of parents sitting on the sidelines and none of them have rushed out to join a soccer team. Go and watch any karate, kung fu, bjj, zendokai, muy thai etc class and you will see a heap of parents watching their kids train with no intentions of training themself. The reason is largely to do with the fact that parents dont want to do MA and not necessarilly the way schools are marketed. The club where I train does not advertise as a child care and aims its curriculum at adults, yet the children who do train there have their parents sitting up the back with no intentions of participating.

You're too deep in the weeds. A fat guy might have a genetic predisposition to weight gain. He might have a slow metabolism and a pear shaped figure he inherited from his mom. He might have any number of medically diagnosable conditions that will contribute to weight gain.

But, if you're looking for the reason that most obese people are overweight, it has to do with diet.

I am not suggesting that EVERY parent chooses not to train for the same reason. I'm suggesting that, much as you watch an obese person order a large sized #2 meal at McDs and think to yourself, "There's the problem," you can look at the manner that TKD ACTIVELY markets itself and do the same.

Let me try putting it a different way. Why do most adults who have never trained in TKD get into it? My bet is that almost all of them start because their kids are enrolled in the classes. "Mr. Jones. Little Billy is doing great. TKD is a great family activity. If you sign up now, I'll give you a family discount." TKD markets to the kids, and uses the kids to get the adult.

Conversely, right now the situation in MMA/BJJ is the exact opposite. Most of the kids who train get into it because the parent ALREADY trains (or has trained in the past). Will it always be this way? Maybe not. While TKD has more in common with little league soccer than BJJ, if BJJ as a group borrows the marketing strategy the outcome is inevitable. BJJ markets to the adults and it's the adults who influence the kids.

 

[granfire]

Parents don't train, as previously mentioned, because they don't want to - any more than they want to train in gymnastics, or soccer, or debate, or chess, or any other activity that the child is interested in and the parent is not. This is neither good nor bad - it simply is.

Sure, if parents are interested in training with their child - and I've had parents and children do this, all the way to black belt - then they should be encouraged to do so, in a setting that suits their desire, to train either with their child(ren) or in a separate class learning the same things.

I also know several parents who don't want to eclipse their children - one in particular is waiting for her daughters to reach blue belt; at first, she was waiting to make sure they were serious- now that they're both 6th gups, she's waiting so that she doesn't have to worry about catching up to them and making them feel bad. Her daughters are currently 8 and 11, and kids that age don't test as often as adults - and I think her concern is valid, that if she starts and catches up to them, at that age, they might decide to quit coming. I know a family where that actually worked out well - at this point, the 14 year-old daughter just tested for her II Dan, the father is I Dan prepping for his II Dan, and the mother is a 2nd gup. The parents waited, as the mother of the 2 girls is waiting, to make sure that they didn't overrun their daughter in rank when she was too young to understand it emotionally, and I think it was a good decision on their part.

Well, i think you hit a point here, however accidentally.
It seems that - especially in the US - sport is something you do as a kid.
I grew up in the old world with a tight network of sport clubs that included the old and the young, having adult soccer leagues, teams of every sport you can imagine freely available.
Around here you might find a church league, but not much else.
There is not a big culture for active adult sport activities.

 

[randy.leopard1]

WOW! Point well taken. From a business aspect though, you need a niche and it seems they have theirs. Maybe they don't want to teach adults for whatever reason. Good luck to them, but I wouldn't attend.

I train with my jids and actually got my overweight wife to start. Her excuse was she was too fat, but when she saw this fat kid training one day, she said sign me up. Aftre the last three months of training, she wants to go more than I do.

I think it's what others have said, a fear of failure. I also think that parents want to save face with their kids.

 

[Carol]

Who watches the kids when the parents are training?

Does the family get to have dinner together as a family on days the parents train? Is it a real dinner or is if a from a drive thru or handout window?

When do the kids get to their homework when the parents train? Is it done at a reasonable hour or are there lies and arguments about the kids watching their fave tv show on nights they get a late start?

Can all of this be managed by one parent or is it managed by two....if two are in the picture?

What about other activities and needs the kids have?

There are LOTS of reasons for parents not training unrelated to laziness or excuses. For many people its better to jog in the park, take a walk at lunch, or work out at the 24 hr gym that is available to them on their schedule.

 

[mango.man]

Speaking as a parent, I will just say that I do not train because I have no interest in learning Taekwondo.

Just like I don't expect my daughter to have any interest in the same things I am interested it.

 

[Makalakumu]

A lot of schools have set up "family classes" designed specifically so that parents can train along side with their children, at least once or twice per week.

I've had some fairly good success with this. As long as the requirements and expectations are clear beforehand, this type of class really helps parents bond with their children and gives them a common interest. A positive side of this class is that it led to an increase in the amounts adults enrolling in my adults only class.

In the end, business is business and martial arts is martial arts. Sometimes the hybrid is a racehorse and sometimes it should probably should be put down. A martial arts daycare is actually a darn good business idea. You can't expect it to teach an art designed for adults. You can expect it to do exactly what the customers are willing to do. There's no need to generalize an art based off of this one interpretation. This is just one of the many diverse things that the free market creates.