What to do when someone wont give up?

[Toby]

Okay, this guy threatened to kill me twice (at the time people were there to protect me), first time he says I said **** about him, second time he had my bro on the floor chocking him, so I got involved and it started again, plus he calls us Handicaped/Cripple all the time. I get sick of it. (We can't help how we are. I mean we can still do everything normal, just not as perfect as some other prerson... if that makes sense?)

What should I do?

I mean, I haven't fought properly yet, but he keeps pushing the fact that me and my twin bro arn't perfect. He needs to learn a lesson.

What do you all think?

Opinions appreciated.

Toby

Edit: Probably the wrong place, but I'm so used to veiwing/posting here... Mods move if you feel it appropriate.

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

Toby,

I would advise you to avoid this person. Avoid a confrontation where something unfortunate might happen. Be the bigger person and do not respond to this persons childish antics. Good luck and stay safe.

 

[Bigshadow]

Toby,

So sorry to hear that has happened. Vengence isn't the answer. Brian's advice is good. Avoid this person, especially in situations where violence can erupt. Have you reported him to the police? Considering his threats and actual assault, there may be something that can be done about him. However, even this needs to be well thought out before proceeding in that direction.

Be careful and be safe!

 

[Drac]

Brian and Bigshadow beats me to it...read and heed

 

[chinto01]

I think that I will speak for those of us who feel that a topic like this does not belong on M.T. Come on man use your common sense. If he has threatend you and already caused you physical violence than do what most people would do call the police, file a report and bring him up on charges. We on M.T. are not lawyers nor are we here to help you figure out how to get yourself out of a jamb. This is a place to talk about training and meet other people. Not solve the problems of the world!

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

 

[fireman00]

A proactive response by you could very well end up with you going to jail for assault.

You need to document what happened, who was there to coaborate your story and go to the police.

It might also be benificial to talk to a lawyer about getting a restraining order against this person but you'll have to have proof that he's been harrassing you and your brother.

Above all - be the better man and avoid him until things can be straightened out.

 

[Bigshadow]

Not solve the problems of the world!

Hey, wait a just a minute! That is what the Study is for!

 

[Grenadier]

First things first: document everything that has happened.

Don't involve yourself in anymore encouters with him. Walk away. He's trying to elicit an angry response from you, and if you respond, he'll get pleasure out of it. As much as it may pain you to hear this, just don't bother with him.

If he persists, notify the local authorities, and show them all of your documentation.

 

[Toby]

Toby,

So sorry to hear that has happened. Vengence isn't the answer. Brian's advice is good. Avoid this person, especially in situations where violence can erupt. Have you reported him to the police? Considering his threats and actual assault, there may be something that can be done about him. However, even this needs to be well thought out before proceeding in that direction.

Be careful and be safe!

Thanks, but honestly, it's gone on long enough for my liking (3x counting tonight, though only tonight was verbal). I mean, I doubt the cops would do anything about it anyway. I was assulted by some other people one time (along with two mates), gave the police their names, descriptions, etc. Northing was done (as far as I know). So I doubt anything would happen this time around either.

First things first: document everything that has happened.



Don't involve yourself in anymore encouters with him. Walk away. He's trying to elicit an angry response from you, and if you respond, he'll get pleasure out of it. As much as it may pain you to hear this, just don't bother with him.



If he persists, notify the local authorities, and show them all of your documentation.

Already tried that once, doesn't work for me. Thing is, we were mates, and he apologised for the last two times and my brother and I accepted that. But he always seems to somehow put us down. So I just don't see any other way around it.

Thanks for the advice though.

Even if something was done, I still think it would happen again. Until either me or my brother (we're twins) puts him in his place. I just don't see any other way. I know I should, but I don't. In all honesty.

I think that I will speak for those of us who feel that a topic like this does not belong on M.T. Come on man use your common sense. If he has threatend you and already caused you physical violence than do what most people would do call the police, file a report and bring him up on charges. We on M.T. are not lawyers nor are we here to help you figure out how to get yourself out of a jamb. This is a place to talk about training and meet other people. Not solve the problems of the world!



In the spirit of bushido!



Rob

While I can understand you (and others) would feel this way, I still felt it was a bit harsh.

I came on here looking for advice, nothing more. Especially since I think the normal channales would fail.

 

[chinto01]

If I in some way offended you with my commments I apologize. The fact of the matter is that my 7 & 11 year olds know how to deal with situations like this. My advice is do not put yourself in this situation repeatedly. Unless you are looking for trouble. In that case you get what you deserve. I guess my anger with a subject like this lies in the fact that people turn to the martial arts only when they need a problem solved or want to know how to deal with a possible fight. Don't believe me what is the first thing people ask when they find out you study?? " Had to use it in any fights?" sound familiar. Or when you happen to be hanging out in a group and someone points out to the others you study. Feel a little unconfortable in that situation? I know I do. Why? Because it puts a target on us and we automatically become labeled. True we as martial artists study self defense and ways to protect ourselves but it is most unfortunate that people outside of our circle do not see the other beautiful aspects that the arts have to offer. It at times seems that we are nothing more than people trained to hurt other people or give advice to solve problems like the one mentioned in this thread. My advice to all of those people seeking our wisdom for that is use your common sense. We are not the guardians of society that is what the police are for.

Sorry for the rant but it irritates me that people just come to use for advice only when they are going to have a physical confrontation. When will they come to us and ask us questions about the history of the arts or its other aspects? I await the day open armed!

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

 

[Mustafa]

A quick post.
I have asked a smilar question once, but i didnt get answer.
I get the nickname fundamental buddhist though.

http://www.lioncity.net/buddhism/index.php?showtopic=31359&hl=Mustafa

 

[MA-Caver]

"Seek rather not to contend. When there is no contention, there is neither victory or defeat. The supple willow does not contend against the storm, yet it survives.'"- Master Kan

"Master, how may I walk a peaceful path, when the world is seldom peaceful?" - young Caine
"Peace lies not in the world...but in the man who walks the path." - Master Po

"I, too, am afraid of guns and hatred and so I choose to leave." - Caine

That show taught me a lot when I first started watching it as a kid.

 

[Bigshadow]

I came on here looking for advice, nothing more. Especially since I think the normal channales would fail.

My friend, you came here asking for advice. You recieved advice. I am sorry it isn't what you were looking for. I think you have been given the best advice you are going to get. You really should reconsider reporting the incident to the police.

 

[CoryKS]

Thanks, but honestly, it's gone on long enough for my liking (3x counting tonight, though only tonight was verbal). I mean, I doubt the cops would do anything about it anyway. I was assulted by some other people one time (along with two mates), gave the police their names, descriptions, etc. Northing was done (as far as I know). So I doubt anything would happen this time around either.

Get it reported anyway. That way, if something does happen you can prove that you went through the proper channels to get it resolved. Your use of the term "mates" suggests you are in the UK (?), and I've seen reports that suggest that they can be less than understanding of self-defense situations.

 

[The Kidd]

Some good advice from everyone let me add a little extra, the guy obviously is either jealous of you or feels so bad about himself that he has to put you down to make himself feel better. If you think of it that way then he is to be pitied for being a small person. Maybe seeing him for what he really is will not get you so upset and realize he is not worth it. I know that is hard to do especially when someone is trying to kick the crap out of you, you can blow off the words and just say "I'm sorry you feel that way" I would understand if he accosted you defending yourself just don't go looking for it that makes you just as wrong as he is.

 

[Kacey]

You really should report these incidents - not because anything will happen, necessarily, but because then there will be a record of what was done and said in case something else happens - especially if you do end up in a situation in which you are forced to defend yourself; toward that possibility, you need to establish an historical record of this other person's actions, so that the authorities will be (hopefully) aware that you reacted to an on-going situation, and not on the spur of the moment.

Good luck to you and your brother in this situation.

 

[MJS]

Okay, this guy threatened to kill me twice (at the time people were there to protect me), first time he says I said **** about him, second time he had my bro on the floor chocking him, so I got involved and it started again, plus he calls us Handicaped/Cripple all the time. I get sick of it. (We can't help how we are. I mean we can still do everything normal, just not as perfect as some other prerson... if that makes sense?)

What should I do?

I mean, I haven't fought properly yet, but he keeps pushing the fact that me and my twin bro arn't perfect. He needs to learn a lesson.

What do you all think?

Opinions appreciated.

Toby

Edit: Probably the wrong place, but I'm so used to veiwing/posting here... Mods move if you feel it appropriate.

If this person is making physical threats towards you and your brother, I suggest contacting the police. Having a record of these incidents is an important step. Avoid getting into a physical altercation with him if at all possible, but if its unavoidable, I'd do whats necessary to protect yourself.

Mike

 

[Toby]

Thanks for the replies guys.

I think the best thing I can do is ignore it for now. Document what's happened. And then if it becomes a problem again, to go to the police with all of my documentation. They'd have to do something then. As most of you suggested. I just was in the mind set that it didn't work before, so why would it now. Guess there's no harm in trying though.

By the way, again I apologise. This probably wasn't the right place for this but I was upset and angry and on here at the time, figured this was as good a place as any to vent/seek advice.

Hope I didn't upset anyone in the process. And yes, a lot of people probably would of reacted to this in a totally different way and handled it better, but that's them and not me. We're all different.

PS: I should of probably added this earlier... It's hard to avoid this guy. We are on the same football team/have the same mates. So therefore we end up in the same places most of the time. It's really stupid though, he'll be an idiot, apologise, I accept, few months on it happens all over again.

 

[MJS]

I think the best thing I can do is ignore it for now. Document what's happened. And then if it becomes a problem again, to go to the police with all of my documentation. They'd have to do something then. As most of you suggested. I just was in the mind set that it didn't work before, so why would it now. Guess there's no harm in trying though.

As for the documentation, its good that you're keeping track of all of these incidents. However, I wouldn't wait until you have a large collection of incidents, but instead report each incident as they happen. IMO, you'll get better results.

Mike

 

[Kacey]

Thanks for the replies guys.

I think the best thing I can do is ignore it for now. Document what's happened. And then if it becomes a problem again, to go to the police with all of my documentation. They'd have to do something then. As most of you suggested. I just was in the mind set that it didn't work before, so why would it now. Guess there's no harm in trying though.

There's never any harm in trying.

By the way, again I apologise. This probably wasn't the right place for this but I was upset and angry and on here at the time, figured this was as good a place as any to vent/seek advice.

Don't let it throw you, and don't let it stop you. Not everyone has the same level of experience, and personally, I saw nothing wrong with your post. No, we are not lawyers, and our advice should not be taken as legally correct - but there are some pretty sensible people on here, and you've gotten some pretty sensible advice. Other people have asked similar questions in the past, and you're the first person I've ever seen called on it... and I'm not quite sure why that happened anyway.

Hope I didn't upset anyone in the process. And yes, a lot of people probably would of reacted to this in a totally different way and handled it better, but that's them and not me. We're all different.

You certainly didn't upset me - the only way to learn from other peoples' experiences is to know about them.