What should I do? Please help.

[Superfly15]

I’m a 15 year old, yellow/white belt, I’ve been training for almost 3 years. I want to be as humble as possible when I say this, but I would say I’m pretty good. I’ve been told by many higher belts that I’m really good and I’ve been improving everyday. I’m one of my coaches favorite’s, and I genuinely believe that I can have a career in mma, considering I’m also excelling in the kickboxing class. But when it comes to the bjj classes, almost everyone is so much bigger than me. Because of how much bigger they are than me, I cannot roll with them. I try my best, but it’s so bad to the point where I cannot move. There have been multiple times where im stuck in side control or mount, and I physically cannot move at all. I would be okay with losing, submit me all you want, escape all my attempts I don’t care, but at least let me try. Because of this, I’ve found my self falling out of love with my sport. I have big dreams, but little motivation to work to them because I don’t have the same love like I used too. What should I do?

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf106]

If your goal is to compete in MMA, weight classes will be important. Because of that, I'd recommend trying to focus on people that are close to your weight class to train with.

Obviously that's not always possible. But when it is, try for that.

I'd also recommend reading through this thread, where people provided advice for a similar thing. I'm sure there's more to say, but you'll probably find some good stuff there.

What should be my goal with bigger, stronger rolling partners that are at my skill level?

 

[skribs105]

In what situations are you "pretty good", and what is the size and skill level of those who can stonewall you?

For example, I've been going 9 months, 3 stripe white belt, age 34. I do pretty good against the more timid no-stripe or 1-stripe white belts. I get stonewalled by purple belts and by white belts that are bigger and stronger than me.

 

[Ivan]

I’m a 15 year old, yellow/white belt, I’ve been training for almost 3 years. I want to be as humble as possible when I say this, but I would say I’m pretty good. I’ve been told by many higher belts that I’m really good and I’ve been improving everyday. I’m one of my coaches favorite’s, and I genuinely believe that I can have a career in mma, considering I’m also excelling in the kickboxing class. But when it comes to the bjj classes, almost everyone is so much bigger than me. Because of how much bigger they are than me, I cannot roll with them. I try my best, but it’s so bad to the point where I cannot move. There have been multiple times where im stuck in side control or mount, and I physically cannot move at all. I would be okay with losing, submit me all you want, escape all my attempts I don’t care, but at least let me try. Because of this, I’ve found my self falling out of love with my sport. I have big dreams, but little motivation to work to them because I don’t have the same love like I used too. What should I do?

I can relate to your experience having the same aspirations that you do. You will find my own struggles on posts in this account dating back years ago, albeit on the other side of the coin, struggling with opponents in boxing much bigger than me, as well as feeling like I am falling out of love with martial arts. The key piece of advice I have to give you is based on the last few sentences of your post. Specifically about motivation.

Unfortunately, this will not be the last time you face the issue. You will feel demotivated many times in the years to come, sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes for months. What you have to understand, and accept, is that motivation is fickle and means nothing. What really matters is discipline. Do you think MMA champions wake up every day with the unyielding desire to train? No. The number of days that I wake up wanting to skip training, and the number of times that I have asked myself in the middle of sparring "why am I here? I hate this" is too much to count. But I still do it anyway. And I do my best to do it like I love it. Mike Tyson once wisely said, "Discipline is doing what you hate to do, but nonetheless doing it like you love it".

It's fine to feel like you're falling out of love with your sports, and it's fine to feel like you hate them. It's fine to take a break if you're burning out. It's a universal experience. But at the end of the day, if you truly want to be a fighter, you'll have to do it all regardless. Learn to separate your emotions, from what must be done. Step by step, walk the thousand-mile road.

 

[drop bear106]

How are you doing in BJJ competitions?

 

[Kung Fu Wang106]

There have been multiple times where im stuck in side control or mount, and I physically cannot move at all.

Have you tried to use side mount on your opponents? Can they move?

In MA, there are 50% skill and 50% ability. Maybe you should spend more time in your ability training.

 

[Tony Dismukes104]

First, the big picture. Being the smallest person in class and getting smashed can be really frustrating. But it's also one of the best routes towards becoming super technical. We have a young man at our gym who started training at age 11. He spent almost all his time training in the adult classes because he was big for his age (too big for the little kids classes when we had them) and we never had a class just for teens. So until he got to be 18 or so, he was usually the smallest person in class. He's 23 now and I had the privilege of promoting him to black belt last year. He is a monster on the mats who knows how to dominate people through pure technique rather than through physical attributes.

Short term, you need something to work on to keep you from getting frustrated beyond just dreaming about where you will be a few years down the line. The worst part, as you noted, is when you're just stuck in the bottom of a bad position underneath a bigger partner and you don't feel like you can move at all. My suggestion for those moments is not to worry about escaping. That's too big of a battle and will lead you to feel helpless. Instead, focus on micro-battles for tiny incremental improvements in your position. Are you flat on your back? Engage your core and do a tiny bridge and shrimp so that you can get a little bit on your side. If you can create even a 5 or 10 degree angle one way or another, you'll have a much easier time breathing, you'll be more comfortable and harder to control. Are your arms out of position, with your elbows away from your ribs? Find a way to wiggle until you can get them back where they should be. Is your opponent controlling your head with a cross face? Make little adjustments until your head and neck feel safer. All this is laying the groundwork for eventually being able to escape, but in the meantime it gives you little achievable goals to work towards and will make it harder for your partner to submit you.