Turmoil!!! Need Advice

[chinto01]

Hello all. Have not posted in a while because of a busy schedule but here goes. My friend opened his own dojo approx. 3 years ago after leaving our previos instructor. We have been training together for this time more as partners and less as student/ teacher. With all of the time I am down there with him and because of my rank he has made me his dai sempai. This was great in the beginning but as I evaluate what it is I want from my training I have realized that it is not in line with the way the school is run. The student base is alot of kids. Approx 95% of his enrollment. Over the last 3 years I have relized that I like the kids in the dojo .They bring a great vibe to the place but my heart is not in teaching them. I would like to focus more on the adults personally. Anyway I am having a hard time deciding what to do. Do I step down as dai sempai and allow another person closer to his teachings be at his right hand or what? Any advise now is needed.

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

 

[Flying Crane]

sounds to me like you need to sit down and have an honest, open, and respectful heart-to-heart discussion with your friend to mutually decide what is best for the school and for yourselves.

 

[terryl965]

Rob if you guys are great friends have a sit down go over what your concerns are and how you and him can help each other build an adults class for the school. I'm sure he is opened to making the school a better place and friendship can with stand a little conflict.
Terry

 

[IcemanSK]

I agre with the gentlemen above. You need an open, honest sit down. Friends can do that. And you both have the best interest of the students at heart.

 

[still learning]

Hello, Before you sit down and talk? Write down exactly what you want. (You will want CLEAR thinking here) . Make a list of things that are troubling you, and a list of things that are very positive for you.

Writing things down will help you see things differently. You do not want to hurt the relationship because of misunderstanding.

Always start your conversation with the positive things you like...than go into what you are seeking.

Your friend may not be aware of this? Go easy! Wish you best of luck and hope things go well!

Also recommended: Wait at least two days after you know what you want. This will give you added time to think about it and also time to see things from his POINT OF VIEW?

It seems you really care for your friend and please be in a good positive mood and SMILE.

Be prepare for the worst too? and except it! .....Aloha

 

[Carol]

What Still Learning suggested is something that my dad used to tell me. While I've never been in your particular situation, for me, that has really helped when I've had to make other tough decisions.

Best of luck to you! I admire your commitment to your school.

Carol

 

[beau_safken]

If you dont want to teach than you will never be an effective teacher. Cut those things loose. You did what you thought was important at the time, but you just have a different mode of thought now. It really is important to be in complete honesty with yourself if you expect it from others.

 

[stickarts]

As the chief instructor at my school, I know that i always appreciate when someone comes to me with a problem to openly and honestly discuss it, even when sometimes it may not be something I want to hear! :0)
I agree with some previous posts that a good heart to heart talk is the best approach.