The Army or the UFC

MJS

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Why isn't this guy in jail? He got bailed out by his grandfather. Jail only made him more angry.

And theres one of the problems right there. If someone is always coming to bail this kid out, come to his aid, is that helping him? Are his family members acknowledging the fact that he has issues, or are they turning a blind eye to it?
 

bluekey88

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Y'know...it occurs ot me that i cannot think of a single career or organization where having significant anger issues (and in the case of this guy, being at the stage of development where one is aware of the problem, but takes no responsibility for fixing it) is a desirable trait.

I'll jump on the bandwagon that says this guy needs some professional help and the army and UFC are not the help he needs...both organizations will probably do well to avoid this guy until he gets himself straightened out.

It's guys like this that help pay my mortgage though. I pray he finds the help and support he needs before he or someone else get hurt.

Peace,
Erik
 

Daniel Sullivan

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It makes me laugh to be honest that anyone can think they can walk into either just like that! The army might be recruiting but I imagine it's like ours that despite manpower shortages they won't take anyone. If they did there's still a lot of training to get through, to say its not easy would be an understatement.
To get into the UFC is probably harder, there's a hell of a lot of MMA fighters (and some not MMA!) worldwide who wouldn't mind a shot at the UFC. You have to prove yourself as a professional fighter first for a start and that is much the same as being a soldier, both need discipline for a start never mind all the other qualities. Anger however isn't something that is needed or desirable in either 'trade'. In fact anyone going into a profession or trade thinking it will 'cure' their personality problems is making a big mistake.
I think both options frankly are just wishful thinking.
The UFC accept him....as what? a ticket seller?
Well stated!

The UFC is not only likely to be harder to get into, but as no mention of this man's ability in the ring has even been touched on, I can only assume that he has none. In order to obtain it, he would need to train somewhere. People will refuse to train with an angry jerk and most schools will either kick him out or deny him any mat time.

And this:

And he completely blames his ex-girlfiriend for his time in jail, it is her fault in his mind because she called the police.

Indicates a man with serious enough issues that he should be institutionalized!

Daniel
 

MJS

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It's him, I haven't told him what to do. These are the options he has given me. And he completely blames his ex-girlfiriend for his time in jail, it is her fault in his mind because she called the police.

Well, I will do what I can, which isn't a whole lot. Thanks for all the responses. The decision is ultimately his, and of course the Army and UFC doesn't have to accept him.

This is only telling me one side of the story. I dont know the details of his domestic violence issues with his gf, but it sounds like he is passing himself off as the innocent victim. Is he? Or is that the impression HE wants to give to everyone?
 

CoryKS

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I think it's a theory that you can harness his anger in a positive way, so they look for socially acceptable ways of doing that. The military and the UFC are two ways that superficially look like a good match due to the violent nature of the job, but people don't look deep enough to see the discipline it takes to thrive in those environments. Anger problems are by definition a lack of control. You can't harness that in any kind of structured way.
 

Tez3

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An angry fighter is a defeated fighter or a dead one.
Still makes me laugh though that someone thinks getting into the UFC is that easy or does he just mean MMA? I would love to be there the first time this angry young man rolls with a competent fighter, oh dear me that would be fun. I know, I have a warped sense of humour :ultracool
 

jks9199

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The kid needs to grow up. The Army may take him (depends on that criminal record), and may help him. Then again -- he may wash out by the end of Basic or find himself doing some time in Leavenworth.

The UFC or any other MMA venue is not a good option; he clearly lacks the discipline to train. There's more to fighting than getting in the ring/octagon/cage and throwing punches.

Like I said... What he really needs is to grow up.
 

Tez3

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The kid needs to grow up. The Army may take him (depends on that criminal record), and may help him. Then again -- he may wash out by the end of Basic or find himself doing some time in Leavenworth.

The UFC or any other MMA venue is not a good option; he clearly lacks the discipline to train. There's more to fighting than getting in the ring/octagon/cage and throwing punches.

Like I said... What he really needs is to grow up.

QFT.
Times like this I wish I was on the same continent, would love to offer him a training place with us though!
 

tenzen

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imho the army would be a good route for this guy, but if he is set on this ufc thing let him get a shot at it. bully beat down will help him make his decision real quick. also to become a fighter you have to have alot of training as well as self control. chaos can get you slept real quick. but what ever he does good luck to the guy he is gonna need it
 

Carol

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Somehow I think the only opponent he's hitting is his gf.

This doesn't sound like a person that is seriously considering either option as a possibility. Sounds more like someone bragging about they use their anger to get their way.
 

Nomad

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An angry fighter is a defeated fighter or a dead one.
Still makes me laugh though that someone thinks getting into the UFC is that easy or does he just mean MMA? I would love to be there the first time this angry young man rolls with a competent fighter, oh dear me that would be fun. I know, I have a warped sense of humour :ultracool

Isn't there a show about this? Bully Beatdown on MTV, where they set up guys that sound exactly like this (talk big, anger issues, etc) with a pro fighter to see how tough they really are? Sounds like they could have their next contestant...
 

still learning

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Hello, For our selves here..

A few suggestions that was share by others..

Many times...step back...stop, think, and ask yourself...what is it you want here?

or count 1,2.3,4, to 15 or so...stop, think, try to RELAX..focus calming down...

or Splash your face with cold water...if available nearby..

or turn and leave....just go away...you are trying to stop things from getting worst..

or BREATHE...a little slower...focus on slowing the breathing...count the breathes...inhale and exhale...to reach a normal breathes...Focus on the this....Clearing the mind...

or....Please other suggestions? ...

Aloha, ......

PS: Many of us did NOT have great role models...and we need to change ourselves from those BAD role models in our life....NOT or will NOT be easy here....Anger is a natural form...just we need to know how to control it...!

Useing Anger to your advantages..and learn the proper ways of it!!!
 

Frostbite

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The days of the military taking the dregs of society are long over, despite what those who hate the military tell you.

This is exactly right. The Army doesn't want just a warm body and just because they're hiring, doesn't mean they're not screening their applicants. If his crimes are serious enough, he'd probably need a moral waiver to get in. And from what I've been hearing, moral waivers are actually becoming harder to come by since the Army is doing a decent job of meeting its recruitment quotas.

As far as the UFC goes, it may not seem like rocket science to go in there and beat the crap out of somebody, but the people who do it professionally train for years and are generally totally committed to the sport and the lifestyle that's necessary to compete. I doubt your volatile friend has the self-discipline to do that.
 

crushing

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Well, you guys might be right. On the other hand, I've known young men with anger issues that got straightened out through military discipline. In fact some only do well in the structured environement of the military, and when they get out they go to their old ways. I'll leave it up to him, I don't want to be the object of his anger.

Of course, the UFC is the other option...

An immature person may mature and straighten out with military discipline, but someone with real anger issues like you describe may just end up with an ''other than honorable discharge', if he's lucky. As an Army vet, I didn't appreciate having these kind of *******s around that were using Army in this way. They tend to disrupt unit cohesion and cause other problems. I hope he does straighten up. Good luck!
 

Tez3

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Isn't there a show about this? Bully Beatdown on MTV, where they set up guys that sound exactly like this (talk big, anger issues, etc) with a pro fighter to see how tough they really are? Sounds like they could have their next contestant...

I've heard of this but we don't have it over here. My idea is usally the fact that a middle age woman dropping him instead of a 'cage fighter' is much more fun lol!
 

punisher73

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Anger issues?

BULL ****!!!

I have never met someone with "anger issues", but I have met PLENTY of people with BULLYING/CONTROL ISSUES. Every inmate/person I have dealt with that had "anger issues" was always so polite to someone he knew could beat his rear end in. They only had "anger" at those who they could control or intimidate.

The military would point out what he is and break him. A scared little boy in a man's body and he doesn't want everyone to know how afraid he is.

Problem is, until he realizes what his real issues are and makes an honest effort to change and get help he will never be successful at either career path he is considering.
 

bowser666

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You forgot his 3rd option if he continues this behavior. Army, UFC, or PRISON !! Not to mention people don't just get into the UFC lol. You gotta start in the small local , nobodies circuit. Not everyone makes it big. Best recomendation though is definitely therapy. Sounds like your friend has some major problems and needs to work them out.
 

Tony Dismukes

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I have never met someone with "anger issues", but I have met PLENTY of people with BULLYING/CONTROL ISSUES. Every inmate/person I have dealt with that had "anger issues" was always so polite to someone he knew could beat his rear end in. They only had "anger" at those who they could control or intimidate.

I actually have occasionally met people with genuine "anger issues", in that they would pick fights with folks who could and did kick their asses.

If you really want to analyze the typology of violent miscreants, I suspect you'd have to take a multi-factorial approach:

Group 1: Pure anger control issues - will lash out regardless of consequences when the mood strikes.

Group 2: Those willing to harm others for their own benefit - may bully or hurt others for financial gain or ego gratification. Anger may not be involved.

Group 3: Both of the above. The individual may be filled with rage at the world, but have enough sense of self-preservation to only target those who can't fight back.

I do agree that Groups 2 and 3 seem to outnumber Group 1, at least in my experience.
 
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Joab

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The UFC is a long ways away for this fellow. He plans to go to a mixed martial arts school for the first time this week, its more of a pipedream at this point. The Army doesn't know about his record yet, and he needs to get his GED first. This fellow is very immature, down to his last $100 he bought a speaker for his car stereo instead of food! And the reason he is "probably" going to join the Army (His words) is because of the $20,000 signing bonus, he wants to buy a new car with it.

All prayers for the young fellow are appreciated.
 

punisher73

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I actually have occasionally met people with genuine "anger issues", in that they would pick fights with folks who could and did kick their asses.

If you really want to analyze the typology of violent miscreants, I suspect you'd have to take a multi-factorial approach:

Group 1: Pure anger control issues - will lash out regardless of consequences when the mood strikes.

Group 2: Those willing to harm others for their own benefit - may bully or hurt others for financial gain or ego gratification. Anger may not be involved.

Group 3: Both of the above. The individual may be filled with rage at the world, but have enough sense of self-preservation to only target those who can't fight back.

I do agree that Groups 2 and 3 seem to outnumber Group 1, at least in my experience.

I have met group 1, but, to me, those aren't "anger control" issues. That is psychotic behavior and the only solutions are heavy medication or confinement, the few I have met out of hundreds were usually very chemically imbalanced and should have been on medication or the mental wiring was faulty and they couldn't process normally. When it's like that behavior therapy isn't going to do anything. They are a completely different animal all together than groups 2 or 3. That is why I didn't include them in my statement, and still wouldn't for the purposes of this particular discussion.

But, I do agree with you that the third type does exist, I just don't like putting the issues they have in with "anger issues" because it is so much more and so much more dangerous than what is usually labeled as that.
 

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